Social Question

idktimmyturner's avatar

Have you ever had a friend who was just "there"? Like for the fun of it? Leading you on?

Asked by idktimmyturner (315points) March 11th, 2021

So technically ever since 3rd grade, we were friends- well “friends” so, why lead me on and tell me that your there for me just to leave me and go with people that literally want to break me down and say that I won’t make it anywhere? (This is a past question- but I need this answered so it doesn’t happen again if you know what I mean.)

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7 Answers

Zaku's avatar

I don’t think it’s possible to know for certain whether someone will abandon your friendship in the future or not. People and circumstances change over time. But you can try to befriend people who seem reliable, and whom you really connect with well, where you both really enjoy spending time together. And you can avoid getting attached to people who don’t have such qualities.

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KRD's avatar

Yes my friends are always with my 100% of the time. No matter what we will always be with each other. My friends and I are always with each other. We are a good teem.

Mimishu1995's avatar

I’m going to sound cynical, but from my experience of being abused by “friends”, I notice that until you reach 18, there is a high chance your friends turn out to be manipulative assholes. At that age, kids aren’t emotionally stable, they want one thing and then next day they want another. Besides, they haven’t developed enough empathy and sense of responsibility to be aware of the effect they have on others. The friend you think you were friends with could be secretly manipulating you, and you didn’t know it because you were viewing the friendship through rose-colored glasses. Or it could be that they changed and became an asshole over time.

Have you read The Diary of a Wimpy Kid? The protagonist is the type of friend I hate, and his best friend doesn’t realize he is being manipulated all along.

The best advice I can give you is to follow @Zaku‘s advice and not be afraid of abandonment. Treat this as an opportunity to learn who your friends are. I notice that when people reach adulthood, they stop doing all the petty stuff to their friends because they have growth out of it. This is when real friendship begins and it has more chance to last much longer than friendship of kids. But before you can acquire this beautiful relationship, you have to learn what kind of friend you want to have and what kind of people are toxic to you, and that can only be learned by interacting with different people.

I don’t know. I only started to make real friends when I went to college. Most friendship I made during my younger years were superficial and toxic. So my perception of friendship is greatly affected by my past experience. I’m aware that there are people who can make friends for life at a young age so take my words with a grain of salt.

idktimmyturner's avatar

@Mimishu1995 I take that advice quite helpful, thank you!

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idktimmyturner's avatar

@KRD I need friends like that. I’m not desperate I just sometimes want to tell someone something other than me telling myself all the time.

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