General Question

micks's avatar

I am happily married to my guy, but I like one girl. I just want to tell that girl what I feel about her. I don't have her contact number except I know she is on Instagram. She is married too. Should I tell her about my feelings? How?

Asked by micks (4points) 1 month ago

We used to go to the same gym for almost 2 years. But we never had single talk. It’s been 18 months I haven’t seen her. I am missing her a lot. I just want to be her friend. I can’t lose her. I wanted to tell her about my feelings for her. I feel like we had something, the way she used to look at me. I don’t have her any contacts. All I know is, she is using Instagram but she doesn’t post anything on her feed. I sent her request but it been pending from 8 months. I don’t want to ruin her or mine married life. I just want to know if she feels same for me? Should I tell her my feelings? Please someone suggest me how? Thanks a lot in advance.

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18 Answers

chyna's avatar

How can you really be in love with someone you have never spoken with? You can’t. You are in lust and you have this fantasy of who and what she is built up in your mind. You may not be physically cheating on your wife, but when you spend time thinking of another woman, stalking her on Instagram, etc., you are mentally cheating. Stop it. It will not go anywhere.

gorillapaws's avatar

This is what fantasies are for. Keep it a fantasy and you’ll be good. Try to make it real and you’re going to trash your marriage, likely creep her out and make a huge mess of your life.

janbb's avatar

@chyna I think this is a woman married to a “guy” who is fantasizing about another woman?

Let it go. As others have said, it’s just a fantasy and there’s no point trying to act on it. It doesn’t sound like she wants your friendship anyway if she didn’t respond to your friend request.

smudges's avatar

If she hasn’t responded for 8 months, doesn’t that tell you she’s not in the least interested?

raum's avatar

You want to risk your marriage for someone who won’t even accept a friend request from you?

Doesn’t sound like you’re putting much value into the marriage you’re currently in.

I’d consider marriage counseling or divorce before worrying about other people.

kritiper's avatar

How many lives to you intend to upend by an admission? You are spoken for, so let it go.

filmfann's avatar

Why are you married if you think it’s acceptable to do that?

Dutchess_III's avatar

Did you make a promise in your wedding vows to forsake all others?

Dutchess_III's avatar

Switch it around a bit.what if it was another guy, other than your husband, who you were infatuated with? Would it be OK for you to act on that?
What if your husband was infatuated with another man or woman. Would it be OK for him to act on it?

chyna's avatar

@janbb Thanks, I read too quickly.

janbb's avatar

It occurs to me that this could be a guy with a husband rather than a woman but it doesn’t make anyone’s advice wrong.

chelle21689's avatar

You aren’t happily married if you’re walking a thin line. It does not matter how that person feels about you. You are married, forget them or divorce if you are going to be unfaithful and cannot be true to you and your spouse….

JLoon's avatar

I’m sexually attracted to men and women, and have had both as partners. BUT I’m not married or in any committed relationship. So I’ll just ask the obvious: Are you consciously bisexual, or are these feelings new and confusing to you? And have you ever discussed this part of your life with your husband?

If not, my own feeling is that you definitely should. And in the meantime dial down the steam girl. If this woman isn’t in direct contact or standing in front of you naked she’s not asking to be had.

Forever_Free's avatar

You don’t have anything to lose. All of this is in your mind. You are making up a fantasy.

For your sake, please let it drop. It is not healthy to think like you have something and never talked.

Think healthy REAL thoughts.

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BobM's avatar

Be honest with your wife, tell her you have a wandering eye and give her the opportunity to say if she wants to stay with you or leave

Smashley's avatar

Leave it in the fantasy realm where it belongs. There’s really no point in pursuing something that isn’t anything. There are plenty of willing and exciting people out there.

Slight note: if she doesn’t post or respond to request in IG, she isn’t on it, she just has an account she barely touches.

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