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JoeCreigh20's avatar

Should I feel guilty or was I wrong about trying to hook up with an ex a day or 2 before I met a girl on Tinder that I really like?

Asked by JoeCreigh20 (16points) September 16th, 2021 from iPhone

So the story behind this is, an ex and I reengaged after 5 years and talked about possibly hooking up sometime before the college semester started. We agreed to but I will say it never happened because our schedules never lined up and there was one final time I asked right before we both started up school. We didn’t get together and chances just ended after that. The part that I feel guilty about is how I met this girl on Tinder a day or 2 after I tried getting together with my ex for one final time. Even though it was before the girl on Tinder and I met, I guess I just feel guilty because it was just days apart before I met this girl. But should I feel guilty? Is there even a reason to feel the way I do? I also made it clear that the girl I met on Tinder that she was the only girl I’m talking to and my only priority. As I said and one final time, my ex and I were trying to get together BEFORE I met The girl I really like, matter of fact before I knew she even existed. So what do you guys think?

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8 Answers

Zaku's avatar

No. There is no good reason. The only one who can answer why you have guilty feelings, is you.

Sit alone in a quiet place so you can completely concentrate without distractions, and pay attention to your thoughts and feelings for long enough that you get a sense of what those feelings are actually about.

JeSuisRickSpringfield's avatar

I have a family member who met her husband at her first fiancée’s funeral. Life and love have a strange sense of timing, and there’s no sense in feeling bad about it.

Forever_Free's avatar

What specifically in this do you feel guilty about?
Guilty that you wanted to hook up with your ex when you already had another date lined up with someone else?
or Guilty that you told the girl on Tinder that she was the only one you were speaking to?

In life there are some weird and bizzare crossings, things that happen, and choices made.

As @Zaku stated, think it through and come to terms with it. Decide if there is something you can learn from it and do better next time.
The fact that you are reflecting on this is a good sign. I applaud you for pondering the choices.
Simply try to learn from it.

janbb's avatar

“Before “ is the operative word.

Caravanfan's avatar

Just be honest and don’t lie. And use a condom.

Pandora's avatar

No, unless you aren’t over your ex.

Inspired_2write's avatar

Meeting up with another on Tinder is not a commitment.
You owe nothing to someone that you have not met in person, however a good lesson on what lying has consequences.

If your word means nothing, then don’t put yourself into situations where you feel that you
have to lie to get someone.

There is a huge difference from having a long time partner and one that you Just communicated online.

Also hooking up with an ex might bring back memories of good times, but unfrotunately that is the expectation again once you meet up again with her.

Whatever broke you two apart if not reconciled will happen again.

Maybe take time before committing as I see you two were going to College an away from each other which makes for comlicated commitments that are unrealisitc in the first place.

Just my view on it..take or leave it.

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