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BigTex's avatar

Can I keep my wife from getting American Citizenship when I divorce her?

Asked by BigTex (4points) September 14th, 2008

I married her in the Dominican Republic 3 years ago. I have seen her twice since then. She is now in Dallas and has moved into her Sisters house after living with me here for a month and now wants a divorce. She has brought her child up here and has enrolled him in school here. I think I have been Duped by her in order to get Citizenship here.What are my options if any?

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17 Answers

JackAdams's avatar

I have read of situations where, when a female non-citizen is divorced from her American citizen husband, she must return to her native country, unless she is granted asylum by the US Government, for some reason.

Alas, I don’t know if this is true, but I imagine a telephone call to your nearest INS office would get you the correct information regarding your particular situation.

The problem you are describing was actually the plotline of an episode called, Tell It to the Marines on the hit TV series, M*A*S*H, in 1981.

In it, a Marine of Dutch heritage was informed that, because his mother (a Dutch citizen) was now divorced from her American husband, she could no longer remain in the USA, and was being forcibly deported. She would be gone from American soil (and back in her native Holland) before her son was discharged, so he wouldn’t be able to see her in person in San Francisco, prior to her departure.

To prevent his mother from being deported against her will, the Dutch ambassador hires her to work as a secretary in the Dutch consulate offices in San Francisco, which means that she, as an official employee of the Dutch government, now has diplomatic immunity, and cannot be deported. Mother and son are eventually reunited, and live happily ever after, in the land of Hollywood make-believe.

I am guessing, of course, but if you can suggest to the proper authorities that you believe she was using you for the sole purpose of entering the USA and remaining here forever, that those same authorities might conclude that her marriage to you was perpetrated by an intent to defraud you (and the government of the USA), and that would be grounds for them to deport her back to her native country.

rowenaz's avatar

She can file a petition with the State and get whatever she wants.

JackAdams's avatar

Yes she can indeed file, but she might not get “whatever she wants.”

I know of people who have been deported, under similar circumstances.

sarapnsc's avatar

First thing you need to do, is start filing for a divorce/annulment, this is the upmost importance. She is going on being legally married to you to stay in the US. Once those have been filed and are on hard copy, take those papers to the immigration department. The pending divorce papers, most likely will halt papers she may have in for citizenship or anything else, that she may be applying for in the US.

She can file a petition, but I don’t think it will do her much good, especially if immigration sees just how long she was in the marriage with you.

Get the divorce/annulment started NOW.

wenbert's avatar

why not move on and just let her stay?

JackAdams's avatar

Why countenance someone staying in this country, whose sole intent to get into this country, was via an act of fraud and/or deception?

TrenchantWit's avatar

wait, you THINK you’ve been duped?

marinelife's avatar

The INS has looked much harder at marriages. If you report to them that you think she was committing fraud by marrying you and the little amount of time that she has actually lived with you, they will probably not let her stay.

I agree with the file for divorce immediately. Use desertion as the grounds.

JackAdams's avatar

Marina, as is normal for her, has given you excellent advice. I urge you to follow it.

sands's avatar

You can inform the Department of Homeland Services of the situation and provide whatever concrete proof you have. If they believe you, she will be stripped of her green card, jailed and/or fined and eventually deported. If they have cause to believe that you were part of the hoax and later changed your mind, you will also face jail and/or fines. You will also not be able to sponsor anyone for a green card ever again-married or not. If it is not hurting you in any way-financial or material and it is only your pride and feelings that have been hurt, you should probably consider living and let live. The Dominican Republic is dirt poor and she is just trying ( albeit dishonorably) to improve her life and that of her child. If you hurt her, you hurt an innocent, defenceless child. Keep that in mind. As for those who urge you to report her, consider if it is really in your place to play God or Immigration Agent with her life. Give her the divorce and leave the past where it belongs. If you decide to remarry, be more cautious. There’s more out there. If you focus on her, you won’t find them. And one last thing, if she wants a divorce, let her pay for it. Why should you? At least you kept your end of the bargain. Her filing for and paying for the divorce is the least that she can do after the way that she has benefitted from this “marriage”.

sarapnsc's avatar

I can only speak for myself… This person asked for options and options were given.

I was in no way playing God here or anywhere. What a horrible thing to say!

Fluther is for asking a question and getting an answer. By giving someone an answer/options to their questions is in no way playing God. If that were the case, what would be the sense of having a discussion question/answer board. Is the whole fluther collective playing God. No. Nor, any person who gave this person options on what to do.

RICK's avatar

Bigtex , i understand how you feel, it hurt, and im so sorry , but i would like to share a story of mines. My mother was in this country illegally for 12 yrs, she met guys who wanted to marry her , but she never loved them so she didnt. Eventually she net some one she loves and they got married, she never asked him or forced him to file for green card for her , he did it all on his own, she worked as a home health aide and also a house keeper(before and during the time they are married), he was a engineer working at keyspan, after 2 years of marriage they filed for me to come to the states i was 19 when i came , my mom was going to school part time, at nights to be a nurse, and when i came i went school to be a nurse also, he used to treat her good , but when it came close for us to guaduate from colledge he changed, he started treating her like crap, and what hurt the most everything in the house was purchase by me or my mom {the house is his , his mom left it to him when she died}we paid all the bills, he has 2 kids 13 yrs and 9 yrs , and my mom has a son 11yrs not for him .Anyway my mom took care of me and my brother with what little she had , and ive been in this country for 4 1/2 yrs and the most that man ever gave to me was $20 . now that we are working and i started to go back to school to be a doctor , and that we make more money than him , he feels that we should pay all the bills instead of dividing it 3 ways like we used to do years before.everyday when we at work he make up lies on my brother , telling him he can use the computer in the house, so i went out and buy him a labtop, he feels that i should have bought 3 since , meaning that i should have bought for his 2 kids also. He never bought nothing for my brother never. then he everytime my brother wants to use the phone to call his friends after school{u know how teenage boys are}, he tells him he cant use the phone , the same phone we are paying the bills , so my mom bought him a cell phone, the mistake she made was buying a $400 phone , her husband start up again, U must be saying why im still living there, i moved out many times but my moms is afraid of him and whenever im arround he does do anything when im there, i keep trying to get her to leave him but shes still in love with him. Any way my mom kept buying my brother all the gaget that he wants because when she wase a house keeper she couldnt afford to buy him what he wants. Anyway i found out i was pregnant to i convince her that it was time to move out on our own, When we did move all hell break loose, he told everyone on the block , that my mom is a whore and a slut that she doesnt know who any of her children father is, , my mom is veery shy and soft and crys very easy, and i knew that all the things he said hurt , but i try to tell her dont let it bother her.He also said that im a postitude and been selling my body ever since i enter the country. anyway , i dont know how the hell he found out where we live or whats our house phone number but he found them , he called the police on us 3 times , also he called child services on me telling them that i leave my new born baby with my brother to take care of by himself, luckly i hire a babysitter through a babysitting agency. then when they close the case , he wrote them {child services} telling them i harm my baby , just because he saw my car parked at a hospital parking lot. my baby was never there i was the one at the hospital.then he call them again stating that me and my mom does drugs and the baby will be in danger, well that was the one that made me blue mad,we all had to take drug test, and luckly my baby daddy was nearby he came to pick her up for his visi or they will have taken my child away from me. Soon after everything was cleared up , i hired a lawyer and taking his ass to court for all the shit he put me through and im not giving up easy at all , i dont want anything from him , but what ever the lawyer can get i want not for me , i will just donate it for charty, he needs to be put in his place.Now hes on my mom , he wrote her job telling them she steals there medications for their patient, he wrote immigration telling them that she married him for her green card and that is not true my mom really did love him, i had to beggeg her to leave him or i would leave.And you know after all he did she still talk to him , thats to show she love him , it hurts me to see her making a fool of herselve , but shes and adult and can do whatever she wants , but i told her i donot want him no where around our house,cause i will take her grand child and disappear and i know that will hurt. how can a woman love a man like that. he never came inside the house , but i saw her taking to him outside the house (i instal security camera in and around the house to make sure she doesnt bring him there). they are doing a investigation into their marriage, i dont know if she will get her citezenship or if they will take away her greencard, i told her to hire a lawyer in the mean time, but instead all shes doing is being on the phone with him all night. I dont call people names , but i always tell people i have the stupidist mother in this world, my brother told her that if she ever go back with him and i move out hes going to live with me. i know shes still seeing him cause my brother saw her car park 1 block away from his house. asked her about it she told me thats not my buisness , i know its not my buisness but thats my mom , i love her , i want to make sure shes ok and doing the right thing. her other family is staying away from her because they all saying she has no common sense.SOrry for writing so long.

jdan11's avatar

I have a question. I would like to know if anyone can point me to the right place. I married a girl who was living here in the US illegally. I fell in love with her, married her and had 2 kids. After her papers were fixed, she was able to fix papers for her whole family who already were all living here illegally. Once all was taken care of, things changed. I caught her cheating on me with her boss. I was thinking of my kids so I took her back. Few months ago, she just decided to take off and live with her aunt just a few miles away from me, leaving both kids which I don’t mind because I want to keep them. From what I heard is seeing her high school sweetheart from the Philippines. I feel like I was used to just get her citizenship and now that they are all set to live here permanently and legally, she decides to kick me to the curb and at the same time, I feel threatened that she will take properties I had before I met her. What I need to know is, (this is only a plan b) If she just used me to permanently live here, is there a way to take it back?

Jack79's avatar

…after all of the above, are there still people who want to get married?

ezcowboy1's avatar

I met miamor on the internet. She is Dominicana; and arrived here in OK, USA on August 26, 2010, paying her on way, her existing passport and visa. We were married on September 01, 2010. Gave her a ring with 12 fair sized diamonds, large emerald, real stones. She deserted me on October 26, 2010; when she returned to the Dominicana. Have heard nothing from her; she will not talk, or Email me. She said she had business in the Dominicana, that called for her in person; she would return to me on December 05, 2010 in OK, USA. What should I do next, think I was used? No, go slow, marriage is supposed to last a lifetime; she assured me it would. I’m heartbroken at 72; she is 60 years.

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ROB2014's avatar

I was duped into a fast marriage here in Texas by a young chick from eastern Europe, without giving too many details and identifiable characteristics let me just say that the sex that we had was excessive, every single day ever since we got married. I never had so much sex in my life before and it is the sex that made me fall more in love with her along with her innocent look, but this is an example that looks are also deceitful because she had everything planned. She would play with my emotions which got me really hooked to her. There were red flags in the marriage from very early on which I refused to pay attention to because I was so happy with her. There was a lot of money involved. She loves money. After she got her green card and social security card everything changed. She started picking on things and blowing them out of proportion. This happened exactly two years after our marriage. I am twice her age and I do still look good for my age. I know I can get someone else, but I loved this one. We ended up not living together anymore and the last time that I saw her she said she wanted to say good bye to me, it hurt like hell. I know I have many options on the table for me, but I still love her and I just hope that she comes back, but if she does not after a little while longer I will have to act. To make things even more painful, we both experienced deaths in our family and I told her not to let these deaths separate us, but instead unite us because we loved each other. She did not listen. She still left and walked out of my life. I supported her and her family financially, and it hurts to see someone go that you think will remain with you after those marriage vows which I dont beleive anymore. Her divorce felt like another death in my life. I will never beleive and marry another woman like that. After reading all these stories here the one thing that seems to stand out, just like my story, is that we did not take the time to know the person instead of jumping quickly into marriage. I dont think marriage is honored by most women anymore. I think most women want only material things and money from the men. They dont care about families. My dreams are gone and shattered because I was honestly looking forward towards a family with this one person that I had put my trust on, I was dreaming of having at least two or three kids and being able to love each other like a family. It is all bullshit. Everyone out there manipulates each other. There is no question about it. The idea of having a family is gone. Now what rules the world and women is MONEY. For anyone reading this post, just take your time and dont let such criticisms as ” You are not serious ” etc. weaken you. You need time to know the person because you commit to them. As for me, again, I dont beleive in that shit anymore because I will be older. I am getting older, and I do feel very hurt inside. I will let some more time go by because I start my complaint with INS. I dont care if they put a stop on my papers also banning me from ever marrying again a foreign national because I am not interested anymore. I dont beleive in anything and I dont care anymore. Even if this same person comes back to my life, who knows, may be not, but if she does it will not be the same again because I say to myself when someone is simply angry the anger should not last that long if the person you are angry with is your closest person. If the anger is taking a very long time, then I think it was not anger, but a plan, so this is where I am right now. We will see. And no I am not doing it because I am trying to get even. I am doing it because she used lies and extorsion to take a lot of money from me. I know she had nothing, but she avoided getting pregnant from me too and I find that…distasteful too. May be because she was young? if she comes back to me willing to have a family it will be because she is more mature ? I will let time decide her fate. Take care everyone.

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