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Brya's avatar

How can I help a friend with ADHD and anger problems?

Asked by Brya (9points) February 17th, 2022

I have a friend who has two sisters (7) and a younger sister (2). She is a good person, but does things that are inappropriate without thinking. My other best friends severed contact with her due to a lawn-peeing incident. I want to give her some advice on how to make sure she doesn’t do anything too embarrassing. A couple of weeks ago, she was on a trampoline with her youngest sister, and started making her stand while her 7 year old sisters were already bouncing. Her 2yro sister started crying because she couldn’t keep her balance. Then, she got into a fight with her sister (7) and hit her with a piece of cloth. How can I stop her from making bad decisions? Please keep in mind that she has ADHD which affects her behavior.

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15 Answers

RedDeerGuy1's avatar

I would ask her parents if you can start a Go-Fund-Me account to raise money for medical assessment and treatment.

Dutchess_III's avatar

Talk to her parents. It’s their problem.

Pandora's avatar

You can’t. I imagine your friend is a teenager. Teenagers are already difficult to control and I’m sure the parents already are aware of the ADHD and anger issues. Any advice given will be ignored because she doesn’t have self-control. But out of concern for the siblings, I would inform the parents. She shouldn’t be left alone with the siblings is she tends to lose control.

Patty_Melt's avatar

ADHD is not a choice. It is very frustrating for friends and family. I respect you for your loyalty to your friend.

Good, ongoing professional instruction can be very beneficial, but it takes time to see improvement.

If you do address things, you must not sound angry. They respond best to a reasonable, firm tone. Specify what is considered unacceptable. Ask if you could help her feel better about something. Offer alternative behavior. Remind her that you care about her.

Brya's avatar

Thank you for all of the advice. I’ll try talking to her.

Jeruba's avatar

@Brya, if your friend is having trouble controlling her behavior, she probably needs some counseling that goes beyond what a friend can do: more like therapy and less like advice. Maybe your school guidance counselor can refer you to a professional.

Inspired_2write's avatar

off hand I say that she is overwhelmed with caring for her siblings.( and has ADHD!..too much expected of her, she can’t cope with being saddled with parentling too.

Not her resposibility and thus she takes it out on others.

Dutchess_III's avatar

She never said she was caring for her parents or her siblings @Inspired_2write.

Inspired_2write's avatar

Oh from her post information I assummed that she WAS looking after them?

Dutchess_III's avatar

She was playing on a tramopline with them.

Response moderated (Unhelpful)
vimead1's avatar

who here actually HAS adhd? just because they have adhd doesn’t mean that they are dumb or mean. so don’t just feel bad for the parents as if the kid is the problem, feel bad for the kid as well because it SUCKS having adhd. its hard to focus, its hard to stay still, you get tics that are almost impossible to stop doing. try to support her, and yes if she does do something hurtful to her little sister tell her parents but for the love of god don’t think of her as a problem or a bad thing for the parents to deal with.

Dutchess_III's avatar

Yeah. Check your punctuation and sentence structure @vimead1.

vimead1's avatar

sorry about that, im in 8th grade and im STILL trying to figure out how to write correctly. lol

Dutchess_III's avatar

Well, ask a teacher for help.
(Oh yeah. I’m a teacher…)
Lesson 1; the first letter in a sentence is always capitalized. So is the letter “I” when referring to yourself.
I’m is a contraction of “I am” so it requires an apostrophe.
These are things you were taught well before 8th grade.

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