General Question

girlofscience's avatar

If Bush was put on national television today, without any preparation, and told, "Explain to the American people what is going on with our nation's economy," what would he say?

Asked by girlofscience (7532points) September 24th, 2008

He had no time to do any advanced reading. No one had prepped him. Would he sound like Miss Teen South Carolina?

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33 Answers

gailcalled's avatar

“Way to go, Paulie.”

La_chica_gomela's avatar

He might sound something like this

Megan64's avatar

* crickets *

sundayBastard's avatar

Tricked yaw!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! hahahahahaha

SuperMouse's avatar

“Our nation was attacked by terrorists on September 11, 2001. If we give in to this recession and economic meltdown, the terrorists win. Don’t let that happen or they will attack us again on our own soil.”

This is certainly an occasion for the “Little Black Dress” if there ever was one.

tWrex's avatar

Probably the same thing any other person in politics would. They’re all idiots.

Harp's avatar

“The fundamentals are sound” It’s his stock assesment of the economy.

dalepetrie's avatar

My fellow Americans,

Together we have faced many difficult challenges. The challenges of the terrorists who attacked us without warning on 9/11. The threat of nucular weapons being used against us by the axis of evil. The threat of radical Islamic extremists in all corners of the world, who hate the American way of life and will stop at nothing to destroy us. And of course the difficult, but imminently winnable war on terror.

But today we face the greatest threat yet, the threat of a complete economic meltdown in our nation’s financial sector. Millions of Americans have simply stopped taking the personal responsibility for paying their mortgages in hopes that the government would step in and give them a free ride. When Democrats took control of Congress in 2006, they promised changes, but instead they decided to waste their time sending me bills they knew I was just going to veto, instead of addressing the problems facing America. Their laziness and do nothing attitude has now permeated all of America, leaving innocent banks holding billions of dollars in worthless mortgages. Once again, it is up to my administration to sort this out.

And unfortunately, the only way to do this is to buy up all these worthless mortgages from the banks. And we must not question the way forward…if Congress hadn’t questioned my bold initiatives in the past, we would not be facing this dire situation today. And make no mistake about it, this situation is dire. If we do not act by the end of this week, passing legislation which will provide my administration with $700 billion, we will be faced with an economic crisis worse than the Great Depression. Any attempts to change this bill in any material way such as attempts to write in unnecessary language to get in the way of this important legislation under the name of “oversight”, will only serve to destroy our economy irreparably.

This action could have tremendous consequences for the safety and security of America. A complete collapse in our financial system would leave us defenseless against the forces of evil, and the terrorists would use that opportunity to attack us in a way that would make 9/11 look like a bad Hollywood movie.

So in conclusion, I urge all Americans who don’t hate America to get behind this important legislation, and call your Congresspeople to let them know that if this legislation, which was not necessary for the past 3 years and only became necessary this past weekend, is now so vital to our nation’s security, that to fail to pass it would be worse than an act of treason.

Good night, and God Bless.

Ibrooker's avatar

“Look out, Cheney’s got his shotgun!” Runs out of the room

Adina1968's avatar

uuuummmmmm….

Snoopy's avatar

Well looks like he actually did this. At 9PM EST 9/24/08. Judge for youself….

augustlan's avatar

@snoopy: Link?

Snoopy's avatar

@augustian. See link

fireside's avatar

Well..heh heh…you see… it’s like this…our ecomony[sic] is like a giant piggy bank…you see…and what happened is that, we.., we got ourselves a hole.

So I’m calling on congress to fill that hole with as much money as we can imagine ourselves to someday have…

fireside's avatar

@ Snoopy – if he stumbles when reading the script, it doesn’t count

I like how he points out that economists believe that the root causes of this had nothing to do with him.

Snoopy's avatar

@fireside. I don’t recall him saying that….?

fireside's avatar

well, not in so many words.
He said that economists agree the the problems have been brewing for many years.
then at the end. Then he points out that he is working to find the root cause. And he points out that the 20th century policies are hampering our market. (Maybe I’m a bit jaded)

That said, I don’t really think this is his fault, i just think that if so much money hadn’t been squandered we would have been better able to respond to domestic crises.

I know, I know…Hindsight = 20/20

Snoopy's avatar

I have to say that I kinda agree w/ some of what he said. I would like to see some of these Wall Street banks fold because of their stupid errors and greed. But not at the expense of my retirement accounts. And that is the rub, I suppose.

fireside's avatar

Yeah, I know, it is definitely a tough call.

Personally, if we take on $700 billion in tax debt, most of which is sold to foreign investors who just recently pulled $30 billion out of the Russian markets, I don’t see how we’ve really gained anything.

Not to mention the fact that Social Security is the elephant in the room because it will be moving towards privatization or insolvency.

Can we just take the oil companies profits somehow?

syz's avatar

Something simplistic and condescending while accepting no blame and proposing no real solution.

Bri_L's avatar

Hehe Wow. $700 bizillion. That’s more zeros than this administration.

augustlan's avatar

@Snoopy: Thanks for the link. I notice he did not include deregulation as one of the factors that led to this fiasco. Sins of omission!

La_chica_gomela's avatar

Snoopy, yeah, except that he’s obviously reading from a teleprompter…

Bri_L's avatar

and all the words are spelt fo net i cal ee

tWrex's avatar

LoL @Bri_L

Bri_L's avatar

hehe. Im over tired

tWrex's avatar

You too?!? I got over her a looooong time ago though. She kept cheating on me. with you it appears!

Bri_L's avatar

hehehe your on a roll. A kieser from the looks of it.

tWrex's avatar

Kaiser! Nein! The one part the Fuhrer the one part the Pope. It’s the inevitable return baby, of the Great White Dope!

Oh boy! It’s definitely time to go to bed! At this rate, Mr. President’ll be using this thread for his speech!

phillis's avatar

I’m in oil, so as far as I am concerned, Mission Accomplished! I’m set for life. Let the peons fight over the scraps.

dabbler's avatar

Put food on your family. To bolster our economy we have some strategery to invade the undemolished portions of Iraq to create jobs for Halliburton. Sometimes you got to repeat the propaganda for it to sink in.

Nullo's avatar

Same question re: any politician.

OneBadApple's avatar

It would probably be something like the following, which he actually said while still in office, giving his thoughts on Social Security reform to an audience in Tampa, FL:
.

”.....for example, how benefits are calculate, for example, is on the table; whether or not benefits rise based on wage increases or price increases. There’s a series of parts of the formula that are being considered. And when you couple that, those different cost drivers, affecting those….changing those with personal accounts, the idea is to get what has been promised more likely to be….or closer delivered to what has been promised. Does that make any sense to you ?.....It’s kind of muddled….”

.
Well, damn….why didn’t someone just tell us that in the beginning ?
.

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