General Question

deaddolly's avatar

Ladies: Do you prefer a female or male gynecologist?

Asked by deaddolly (3431points) October 1st, 2008

I prefer a female because I think only another woman knows what cramps feel like and what a hot flash does to you. I’ve got friends who would NEVER go to a woman because they’d feel uncomfortable? I’ve never understood that…
What are your thoughts?

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44 Answers

SpatzieLover's avatar

I’ve been to male, one female. I thought tthey were each fantastic. But, I chose the Male wisely and know him. He’s since retired as an OB (delivered over 10K babies). He recommened the Female…She’s superb!

I think it’s a matter of personal choice, but also a matter of making an educated decision based on what your insurance covers. The male has extensive equiptment in his it saves me trips for testing elsewhere. ;)

SuperMouse's avatar

I’ve seen both. A man delivered my first and last sons and a women delivered my middle son. I was with a male who I really liked for a long time, but now I am seeing a female. The best thing about seeing a woman is that she warms up the speculum. Other than that, I really have no preference.

scamp's avatar

It really doesn’t make much of a difference to me what the gender is, as long as the doctor is gentle, understanding, and they warm that damned speculum!!

girlofscience's avatar

Female. I would never go to a male.

I’ve had two female gynecologists (one in Philadelphia, one here in Durham).

I’ve been happy with both of them.

Snoopy's avatar

At one time, the doctor would have had to have been female. And if I am going to be honest, it was b/c I wasn’t comfortable w/ a male examining my dainty bits.

Today, after two deliveries, I couldn’t care less. I go to a group and have seen all the docs at one time or another. My current/regular OB/Gyn of that group is male.

tinyfaery's avatar

Women only. It’s awkward enough having to explain why I’m sexually active but don’t need birth control. Male doctors respond to me being gay in a strange way; I’m not saying all women react wonderfully, but on average a female doctor reacts less noticebly. Plus, I just feel female doctor’s listen more to what I have to say.

Emilyy's avatar

As long as they’re professional, I couldn’t care less. For me, it’s more important to be comfortable with someone, and less importat what gender they are. I’m comfortable around males and females, so I’m down with both.

My current gyno is one of my sister’s best friends who I have known my whole life. It’s a little weird that she watched me grow up and now knows all about my sex life, but I feel very comfortable in her care.

galileogirl's avatar

Female nurse practitioner, with small hands.

chyna's avatar

@galileogirl Thats my answer! Females, they have smaller hands.

krose1223's avatar

I’ve done both but I preferred my female one just because she was hilarious. She cussed like a sailor and we talked about porn while I was spread eagle in front of her. I guess that’d be weird to some people, but it really helped me relax. I still go to her and I’d recommend her to anyone!

MacBean's avatar

Doesn’t matter to me, as long as they’re trans-friendly.

DrasticDreamer's avatar

Only female for me. I just don’t like the idea of a guy poking around my crotch unless he’s poking around in a non-medical circumstance.

Oh, me…

galileogirl's avatar

The last male I went to over 30 years ago sang TV theme songs while he worked. Why he thought singing about Huckleberry Hound would relax me, I never understood.

cooksalot's avatar

Doesn’t matter to me. So long as they are good.

tedibear's avatar

I started out with a woman for comfort reasons, and currently see a woman because she’s an OB/GYN. When I started going to her I thought we were going to have children and didn’t want to have to switch. At this age, I would be okay with either.

cak's avatar

After going to a male for several years, I switched to a female, it just made sense. They know how we feel. They understand certain things a little more – from experience. (I know, not all of them, but more than men!)

I had two specialists, while pregnant with my son – one male and one female. They were both great, I still keep in touch with both of them – neither are my gyns now – I go to another practice, for convenience.

gailcalled's avatar

Both sexes; no problems with any of them.

queenzboulevard's avatar

Wouldn’t a female be better because she knows how to be gentle with a woman? As I’m typing I’m reading @cak and we’re on the same track. Word up!

augustlan's avatar

When I was younger, I would only see a man. I’ve come a long way since then, and have seen both. It really doesn’t matter to me, as long as they are good at what they do and have a good bedside manner.

cak's avatar

@queenboulevard – great minds! ;~P

laureth's avatar

Much, much, MUCH prefer to go to a woman. Truly. It’s bad enough being all butt-naked in the stirrups with some hand poking around with an instrument in there – I don’t need to wonder if the person on the other end of the speculum is thinking odd thoughts about me. Of course, they’ve all seen “parts” a million times before, and it could easily be that the female gyno is thinking odd thoughts, but I’ve never gotten that vibe from one.

My grandma, on the other hand, told me she could never see a female doctor of any kind, because they just “weren’t smart enough – only men have what it takes to be a doctor.” Thank goodness that sentiment is fading, eh? I always wanted to ask her, “Don’t you think you and I are smart enough to do something other than paint our toenails?” She never understood.

deaddolly's avatar

@laureth I often wondered if that was the sentiment of some of my older friends. My sister is 10 yrs older than I am and refuses to go to a woman.
I just think woman know more about how a woman feels.

When a man has a baby, I will consider them as being equal. Until then, again having been to both (Igave birth in a teaching hospital and had a crew of young docs staring at my wooo-ha, but could’ve cared less at that time!), I love my female ob/gyn.

EmpressPixie's avatar

I like a lady looking at my lady parts. A man doing it just makes me uncomfortable.

Snoopy's avatar

dd et al I understand where you are coming from…but the same logic could be applied to any medical issue. So why not those…?

i.e. I am not going to see a psychiatrist who isn’t bipolar as they can’t really understand…. or I won’t see a pain specialist who has never experienced chronic pain, etc.

deaddolly's avatar

@Snoopy…for me exposing my private parts is a bit different than exposing my intermost thoughts. Though, in all honestly, I’ve always preferred women doctors over men. I find them more compassionate and can relate to things more from my prespective.
I will choose a woman doctor over a man anyday.
Female issues are very different than men’s (duh), so why not go to someone with direct experience?
As for psychologists etc…I would always check to see what their specialty was. If I was bi-polar, I’d go to one with a special interest in those cases etc.

Snoopy's avatar

@dd I understand what you are saying as I once felt the same way myself. For me the issue was exposing myself to someone of the opposite sex.

And then, for me, I started to think….OK whatever “issues” I would have w/ a guy for that….wouldn’t that also translate to a lesbian OB/GYN….and then, for me, it just seemed silly after that…

As for the “he won’t be as gentle being a female”, “won’t understand my issues being a guy”.....I just haven’t found that. I guess I have maybe had better luck than some w/ guy docs.

deaddolly's avatar

@Snoopy…it was never a feeling of their sexual orientation for me, it was more in their compassion and approach or technique. I had a few males that were alright; I just rather talk to another woman about any sexual issues I had.

jca's avatar

i prefer a male. i also think playing doctor is one of the most fun things to do when i’m not at the doctor!

SpatzieLover's avatar

@dd & laureth…My mom also refuses to see a woman, but not for the intelligence issue. She had a lot of female problems (was told she was sterile when she got pregnant w/me) and had to see many specialists. One was a woman. She happened to be a Lesbian and my mom felt she didn’t listen to any of her symptomatic complaints at all and said all of her responses to her were “No woman is in that much pain. We all have PMS”—etc. Whereas, she felt/feels men are much more sympathetic to her pain issues.

deaddolly's avatar

How ould anyone know if theie doctor was a lesbian or not? Or if their male doctor was gay? how does that even come up in a conversation?

SpatzieLover's avatar

Gaydar?! ;)

No seriously. At the time (60’s-70’s) she felt the woman was quite ‘butch’ and obvious about her preferrence. I think we recently had a Q about how one ‘knows’/‘feels’ what sex someone they meet s.

deaddolly's avatar

No offense, but that’s just silly. I’ve met effeminate men who were very straight, and butch women who were married with tons of kids. It’s just a stereotype….stronger back in the 60–70’s than it is now. I HOPE It has nothing to do with a person’s capabilites and should have nothing to do with how you pick a doctor.

Snoopy's avatar

DD that is exactly my point (I am jumping in b/c I think I brought it up—-)

It is silly, in my opinion, to be comfortable w/ a female doc just b/c you don’t want a guy looking at you….Peel another layer back from that and it has to do w/ the notion that the only time (typically) a guy would have that kind of access to your person is during a sexual encounter. For me, after some thought, that is why I was once uncomfortable w/ men.

And then I finally realized that this hang up should be equally applied to a lesbian doctor. And then I realized how stupid that was…..and that is a big part of the reason why I don’t care if the doc is female or male. Nor do I care what their sexual orientation is…..

I only care about their skill set and their bedside manner.

SpatzieLover's avatar

@Snoopy…I think it was my mom’s point too. But, in her own way. The ‘butch’ doc had a terrible bedside manner and made her feel her problem was a mental one, even though she had serious physical probems that required a complete hysterectomy after my birth.

It all comes down to expertise and manner. if you walk in and aren’t comfy, don’t get naked, walk out and find another doc.

deaddolly's avatar

@snoopy…my point is that some ppl would never go to a male and vise versa; even if both are qualified. I’ve found women can relate to other women better when it comes to a woman’s health issues. that’s been my experience and that’s my opinion.

Everyone’s entitled to their opinions. I’m interested in knowing why ppl feel that way. If it’s a sexual issue, I just think that’s silly.
My sister think it’s gross for one woman to loo at another woman’s private parts. I thik that’s ludicris because they have the same parts!!!!

@spatzie I agree. I would choose a female over a male tho. now if I didn’t like the bedside manner of the female; I’d choose another doctor. But another female. And no, I don’t hate men! lol

generalspecific's avatar

I haven’t been to one yet.. (shame on me, I know) but I have a feeling it’s coming up.
Hopefully I’ll be going to a lady, because of many reasons mentioned above, plus I’ve just always felt more comfortable with women because I can relate to them I guess. When I was about 10 I refused to go to a man for cello lessons.. I just didn’t feel comfortable with them. Usually women just have that loving motherly nice-ness. I dunno, I just wouldn’t really want to go to a guy. Just my silly opinion though.

MacBean's avatar

i.e. I am not going to see a psychiatrist who isn’t bipolar as they can’t really understand…. or I won’t see a pain specialist who has never experienced chronic pain, etc.

To be fair, it’s not a completely stupid concept. The best therapist I’ve ever had was one who had personally dealt with agoraphobia/general anxiety. I think it’s a little silly to refuse to see a doctor who hasn’t experienced [insert issue] personally. I don’t think it’s silly to prefer to see one who has.

MissAnthrope's avatar

Definitely prefer female. I’m old and have had plenty of exams and I’d like to say I had at least one male doctor, but honestly can’t remember. Anyway, I just feel way more comfortable talking about my ladyparts with another woman. You know, you can pretty much commiserate over period woes with just about any woman you meet.. it’s not gross, it’s not weird, it’s just what we all experience.

Also, I kind of don’t understand why a man would want to be a gynecologist.. I would think it would ruin you on vaginas for life.

deaddolly's avatar

@AlenaD Exactly, why would a guy be a gyn? It’s like working in a candy store, you’re around it all day long and it’s the last thing you want at the end of the day.

gailcalled's avatar

My family practioner (Male), who gave up his practice because paper work and insurances issues had exhausted him, did my pelvic exams. My new Internist (male) also does my pelvic, pap and a million other things. It is easy to have to go to just one office for full-service.

When I was having babies, most of the Ob/Gyns were male; they liked delivering least my doc and my babies.

deaddolly's avatar

Yes, babies are one thing, but not all gyn’s are also ob’s.

jca's avatar

Alena: I think a guy would want to be a gyn for the $$. i know with mine i can’t get an appt for months when i need a checkup -that’s how busy he is. and the whole group delivers babies, which is a lot of money, on call, etc. a lot of work and liability but a lot of money.

justjan's avatar

Just like male policemen, guards, security folks are not allowed to touch women in their private parts so too should male doctors and nurses not touch our private parts.

Since we don’t trust cops or guards to touch us why should we trust male doctors. I doubt if a few years of university make docs more trustworthy than cops or guards.

The only reason, in my opinion, a woman would choose to have a male doctor touching her is that she gets a kick out of it.

lisaj89's avatar

I think my case is a little diff. than most b/c until now, at age 20, I never had a normal period. I had no other choice but to schedule an emergency appointment (I had been bleeding for months and began to pass out from blood loss) which only a male DR was available. I was absolutely mortified! I am a virgin and I’m the only one that had been “down there” and to find out the Dr was a guy freaked me out! Then when I saw him I was completely at ease. He was very kind and did not make me feel like a freak. I have had to return three times and each has been the same. I think it all depends on the nature of the person male or female.

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