General Question

Ncshawty's avatar

Do you think being 18 and still being a virgin is good or lame in guys eyes?

Asked by Ncshawty (79points) October 13th, 2008

Its me haha please be honest

Observing members: 0 Composing members: 0

47 Answers

Response moderated
Bri_L's avatar

I think it depends on the guys.

Some guys lame. Some guys will say lame but inside be glad.

Some guys good and, not literally, screw everyone else.

When I was 18 I would have been more attracted to you because I would have interpreted that as less pressure on me as I was also a virgin at 18.

robmandu's avatar

Not lame.

But not necessarily good either. Being someone’s first time is a huge responsibility. Some guys might simply feel inadequate to the task.

If the guy is also a virgin, then that probably would seem to offer a more-level playing field.

jrpowell's avatar

I personally wouldn’t mind it. I would actually consider it a good thing. If a guy is judging you on this it is because he wants to know how hard it is to get in your pants.

edit :: grammar

Magnus's avatar

Are you a girl or a guy?

SuperMouse's avatar

I’m not a guy, but I don’t think it is the least bit lame. I think it says a lot about the type of person you are; one who respects herself enough to wait until the time and the person are right. Not lame, very smart.

eambos's avatar

Why would it be lame. It shows that you feel sex is something important, and you are saving it for someone very special.

osullivanbr's avatar

It should be commended. Too often in this modern society we live in people try to grow up too young, and partake in activities they are not emotionally equipt to deal with. Nor are they equipt to deal with the consequences.

As for how and 18 year guy would react to it, well you can imagine, with an immature mentality that all us guys had when we were 18, they’d think it’s great, they get first “shot” (don’t know what else to call it).

But as far as a guy you have feelings for, and who has feelings for you, it should be seen as a good thing for more pure reasons.

Magnus's avatar

Well, as being a 17 year old guy, I don’t really mind. It’s something you definitively think of, I’ll admit that, but it’s never a dealbreaker.

Bri_L's avatar

@ magnus – do you put pressure on your self or concern yourself with things like that? as a guy?

Zaku's avatar

Not lame, and possibly good.

itmustbeken's avatar

I could not agree with osullivanbr more.
We are so hung up with kids growing up before they need to. Sex is something you need to be emotionally ready for.

I would not concern yourself with what any guy/girl thinks about your choice. There is nothing more beautiful/handsome than someone who knows their own mind and makes choices based on character.

jvgr's avatar

Ncshawty: Still trolling I see.

maccmann's avatar

Why do you care what any person thinks? A “guy” shouldn’t care, but neither should you. It’s your choice, your body and your mind. Think for yourself.

Either that or become a Republican! (doh!)

Zaku's avatar

There are many ways to look at it. I had a thought to elaborate a bit on one of them:

One view I’m familiar with, might add that some 18-year old guys take romance and women’s well-being fairly seriously, despite raging hormones. I and several of my friends were that way, more or less.

So if a woman one is interested in has been abstaining from casual sex, but isn’t closed to romance with such a guy, that’s great.

deaddolly's avatar

don’t worry about what anyone else thinks; it’s your body – it’s totally up to you. Be proud of whatever you decide.

marinelife's avatar

Let me join the chorus of those saying it should not matter to you what guys think. Any guy who says it is lame is not worth being with.

Sloane2024's avatar

I totally agree w/ Marina. If there’s anything that a guy is demanding you change whether it be your hair color, weight, personality, or sexual purity they aren’t worth your time. Be proud you are still a virgin. It’s such a rarity these days….

syz's avatar

It doesn’t matter what anyone else things. Do what’s right for you, to hell with everyone else.

judochop's avatar

Why are you still a virgin?

windex's avatar

Good job on not being a whore.

judochop's avatar

When I asked why are you still a virgin I hope I did not come across like, why the hell have you not given it up yet? Get on with it already you’re 18!!!!! I was just asking what is it in you that has made you want to wait and what is it in you now that makes you question your integrity?
It is your body and your mind and your heart. You can keep that sacred for as long as you want to. There is no age limit on being a virgin and thank God for that.
Awesome job on keeping your virginity. I wish I had waited.

stevenb's avatar

I think it is very cool. Why rush it? You are safe from stds etc. You should be happy you don’t have to picture a sixteen year old sweaty, pimply face grimacing in sexual extacy for the rest of your life. I am glad you stuck to your ideals, where ever you got you inspiration. I had a virgin girlfriend at that age and I thought it was sexy and didn’t push for sex. We had a lot of fun without sex. I remember her very warmly. Very smart and sexy girl.

oopslc89's avatar

not lame in fact i only have sex with virgins

jen157's avatar

There is absolutely nothing wrong with that. It’s sexy. Girls out at the clubs and bars are all easy and gross. Even girls in high school are getting stds and its sad. Stay a virgin until your married and you and your husband will live happily ever after. If I was a guy I would be with you in a second and Im sure others would agree.

chelseababyy's avatar

I know a lot of guys who would PREFER that over someone whos had sex a lot.
And if they have a problem with it, well then they don’t respect you, your body, and they don’t care enough.

That’s just IMO.

TitsMcGhee's avatar

Having been an 18-y.o. non-virgin, I didn’t feel judged by the guys I was seeing and hanging out with and whatnot. I think some of the guys I actually ended up with were probably pretty happy that I wasn’t a virgin, so yeah. I think it depends on the guy and his intentions towards you.

tb1570's avatar

it’s fine. when you find someone you care about, and s/he cares about you, and you’re ready, you’ll know.
and, as many other posters have already said, you don’t really need to worry about what other people think. but, since you asked, it might make you feel better to know that many guys might actually think it’s cool and appreciate you even more for it.

punkrockworld's avatar

The guys that are worth it- its a good thing. When a guy really and genuinly likes a girl, he wouldn’t care, in fact he’d be happy that she’s clean.
I was nineteen when I lost it, and sadly enough lost it to the wrong person. He did not deserve it at all. Save yourself for someone who does.

jackfright's avatar

i think its fine, but if i found out a girl i was with was a virgin, i wouldn’t have sex with her.
i dont think any less of her, but i just don’t want to be the one to take it away.

SeventhSense's avatar

Don’t cast your “pearls” before a SILLY boy. You deserve an experienced guy or thoughtful younger guy to appreciate you. Find another boy who may also be a virgin or an experienced and older 20–23 year old guy. Whichever you’re more comfortable with. And it’s very beautiful, it actually shows that you have esteem and are being careful.

kutelilkat's avatar

I’m a girl so I cant really say what a guy thinks but I feel that its probably fine to most of them. I guess most girls do it at a younger age so maybe they will think, “wow! she still hasn’t done it that’s cool. She’s untouched or maybe saving herself for someone special or for some reason” Then there are some guys who don’t want to be with virgins because they think “oh great she’s going to get attached to me because I’m her first”... But you wouldn’t want to give it to a guy like that anyways right!?

I did it for the first time when I was 21. The guy I was with loved that I was a virgin. He said it made it even more special that I choice him for the first time. Afterwards we just stayed really good friends. Everything turned out fine. I don’t regret it.

shortysith's avatar

yes it is a good thing! I waited until I was 18 as well. I was more mature and ready for it, and the guy who I slept with ended up being someone i loved for 6 years. It is worth the wait! It shows you are a smart! Be selective, make sure it is someone who can appreciate what a smart, confident, and special person you are :)

mamabeverley's avatar

Who cares as long as you are happy with it. Guys will come and go, the one you lose your virginity to should be special. Good or bad, you will remember it forever. (Unless, you are too drunk, but at 18 you should not be drinking….haha)

sakura's avatar

Waiting is something I wish I did, but I dont regret anything I’ve done since. I think, good on you for waiting and any man should be neither pleased nor displeased because it’s your choice not for him to judge.
Just be careful though if you do wait until you’re married you dont want to think that there is just one way, your hubby’s way!

bright_eyes00's avatar

Waiting is not lame. Its respectable. You shouldnt let society tell you otherwise.

Mr_Callahan's avatar

Call me cinnamon.

deni's avatar

unless the guy is a bro and all about sex in which case you probably wont want to be near him anyhow, then i say its all good. 18 isnt very old.

Ashleyh429's avatar

I think it’s a good thing to still be a virgin, girl or guy. Some guys probably think it’s lame, but that’s most likely due to the fact they think with the wrong head most of the time…

saraaaaaa's avatar

I waited until I was 19 and although the relationship is now over I still don’t regret the choice. My friends used to ridicule me for it and talk about sex in front of me to attempt to make me feel awkward never worked but to be honest i’m proud of myself. My boyfriend of the time was understanding and good to me, there has been men who had ‘tried it on’ before but I figured that I had waited so long that I wasn’t going to give it all up for a loser that just wanted to get in my pants.
And if I ever have a daughter I am going to tell her that story in the hope that it will influence her to do the same ^^

Ashleyh429's avatar

Part of me regrets my decision, part of me doesn’t. I did it with someone I truly loved and he would have done anything for me. The only reason we separated is because he joined the Marines, and I can’t be with him anymore. Part of me really wishes I hadn’t, but the part of me that loved him so much says that I did the right thing. He was really shy. I still don’t know if he’ll have the courage to ask another girl out, and I was afraid that he might die or get hurt when he gets shipped overseas, then he’d never know… I gave him everything I could because I loved him, and he loved me more than anything else in the world. There were times when he’d talk about the future. I knew it probably wouldn’t happen because of him going into the Marines and I don’t want that type of life, but he meant everything he said. It wasn’t just sex, it was an act of complete adoration of another that still lingers with me today.

JustPlainBarb's avatar

Your choice to stay a virgin (or not) at 18 is yours. Don’t be so concerned about what anyone else thinks. It’s a personal thing that you do for yourself! Don’t lower your standards to please anyone!!

Jabe73's avatar

What is lame is doing what you feel everyone else expects you to do. There are many girls/guys that are ALOT older than you asking this same question and my response to even them would be the same. There is nothing lame about being yourself and making decisions for yourself. I’ve worked with guys that were over 30, 40 and even 50 that are still virgins and you are only 18 years old and asking this, I also see 14 and 15 year olds asking this same question, did times really change that much in the last 20 years where you have kids this young asking this stuff?


Personally, I think an 18 year-old plus virgin is much better than a 18 year-old slut who goes in one bed and out the other. lol

CaptainHarley's avatar

Actually, it’s neither. As I have pointed out time and time again, it’s what a person is in their character and their personality that makes them interesting, not whether they’ve ever been poked before.

CaptainHarley's avatar


You’re very lucky to have found him, but it pains me that you left him go. To find someone who can “adore” you like that is very rare.

Answer this question




to answer.

This question is in the General Section. Responses must be helpful and on-topic.

Your answer will be saved while you login or join.

Have a question? Ask Fluther!

What do you know more about?
Knowledge Networking @ Fluther