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SuperMouse's avatar

Would you let your 17 year-old daughter have her navel pierced?

Asked by SuperMouse (30809points) November 11th, 2008

She is a good kid, hangs with other good kids, gets good grades, is home by curfew, hasn’t gotten into any trouble and she really wants to have her navel pierced. Would you let her do it?

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33 Answers

jessehattabaugh's avatar

In a year she can do it whether you like it or not, so why not just let her?

Rememberme's avatar

unless you want your daughter to be showing off her new piercing to everyone. ( pulling up her shirt for boys)

AlfredaPrufrock's avatar

Yes, and I would tell her exactly that. That while you personally don’t care for it, she hangs with good kids, gets good grades, is home by curfew, and generally makes good decisions, and you are appreciative of that. It’s not a permanent thing, she’ll feel like you are reasonable, and like jesse said, in a year she can do it anyways.

Stuff like this where you as a parent can appear reasonable with minimal effort, should be seized whenever they come your way.

Jane_Ann_Deaux's avatar

I was in the same posistion your daughter is in when I was 17. I made good grades, hung out with good kids, never got in trouble, etc.

My parents also voiced the same opinion, that they did not like it, but would allow me to get it.

I did, and by the time I was 22 I was sick of it and took it out and let it grow back. No noticable scar or anything.

I think you should let her, since it doesn’t have to be a permanent decision, like a tattoo would.

EmpressPixie's avatar

Yes.

For the reasons AP and JAD said. It’s not permanent, she’s a good kid, and she generally makes good decisions. It’s your chance to be a cool parent when really there is very little downside.

skfinkel's avatar

Why does she want it? Is she a slave to fashion? you might want to point out that this particular fashion will be short lived, and she might not want a additional hole on her body in a year or two, or even six months. What about starting her own cool ideas? something that is not permanent, but powerful.

makemo's avatar

If that’s her will, yes of course. But I would disapprove. And I might (this is a tough call, and a point where my moral discipline as a parent would probably lack), would be to have her pay for it herself. (I don’t have a daughter, only a son, 1.6 years old, so I’m not there yet.)

My thoughts would be:

There are fights that are worth taking, and there are fights that might be better off unfought.

This doesn’t sound like a real issue worth going into a (possible) conflict for. Besides, you will probably not gain any further ground in the issue, as she’s already made up her mind what she wants, and preventing her from getting that (in this case, really just a harmless piece of jewelry), might only pose a risk for a worse family relation.

timeand_distance's avatar

I’d say, sure, why not? It’s not like she’s getting a 10g tongue piercing, and if she doesn’t like it in a few years and decides to take it out, she’s not going to be stuck with some horrible gigantic hole. I would make her save up and pay for the piercing, though. Infection’s no fun.

EmpressPixie's avatar

I think making her pay for it is only reasonable. (I didn’t actually consider that you might not.)

gimmedat's avatar

I hate the navel piercing. I think it’s ugly and tramp-like. I don’t know why I hate it so much, I just do. I will not ever let my daughter get her navel pierced. I can handle pretty much any other piercings (save the nipple or any other “girl part”), but the navel, no way. This is a hill I would be willing to die on. I would even let her get a tattoo before the navel piercing. Seriously, I don’t know why I hate it so much!

Judi's avatar

My daughter is a High School drama teacher and has showed more than one girl what her piercing looked like after a baby and stretchmarks. Very gross. I think she deterred a few.

asmonet's avatar

It’s her body, if she’s generally an intelligent, thoughtful girl she an make the decision about her body at 17, nothing changes from then to 18 anyway. I’d imagine at 17 this isn’t really your choice anyway, she’s old enough to work around you if she really wants it. Why fight over it? Explain your position give her some facts and support her decision. She’s a good kid otherwise, and a piercing doesn’t change who she is.

AlfredaPrufrock's avatar

Piercings come out with minimal if any marks. Gauged ears are, I believe, $3,500 to have repaired, and a tattoo can be as much as $6,000 to have removed. Reconstruction on the back of your teeth from a tongue piercing is about $2,700, according to our dentist, who read them the riot act in middle school about that one.

Piercings and colored hair are non-issues. I think because I was so reasonable about the hair and the piercings, the tattoos are thoughtfully placed in non-visible places.

nocountry2's avatar

Jeez if my kid were that good I’d be thanking my lucky stars, patting myself on the back, and let her pierce her hoo-ha if she wanted to.

But seriously – I would let her, on the condition that she present a small research report on the pros and cons, that way if it’s something she wants badly enough she can take the time to be educated about it.

gimmedat's avatar

Aren’t getting good grades, hanging with a decent group of kids, getting home by curfew, and not getting into trouble attributes that every kid should have? I appreciate the fact that there are tremendous pressures on teens, but using what a teen should be as justification for another behavior is something I’ve never gotten behind. In my mind, this rationale is tantamount to, “She only drinks one beer and only when I let her.” I feel like if I’m letting my teenager do something it’s because I am OK with the decision she’s making, not because she’s meeting my expectations in every other area so I’ll be OK with her doing something I wouldn’t ordinarily support.

cdwccrn's avatar

absolutely not. They are among the most dangerous of piercings, due to high risk of life-threatening infections.

lynzeut's avatar

This is where you ask yourself “am I O.K. with her having a piercing?” If the answer is “NO” then that is what you tell her. You are the parent and what you say should go. It’s your daughter, your house, your rules.

gimmedat's avatar

SuperMouse, do you have a 17-year-old daughter? I had no idea!

augustlan's avatar

Aren’t supermouse and gimmedat sisters?

nocountry2's avatar

@gimmedat – I think it’s perfectly reasonable to reward your child for demonstrating good judgement, regardless of whether it’s an expected behavior or not. This particular child seems to have consistently done just that, and while she is wanting a piercing that is perhaps unpalatable to her parents, to me a reasonable parent would say that she is clearly capable of making sound decisions, just because I don’t happen to agree with this one doesn’t mean I should use absolute authority and deny it.

SuperMouse's avatar

@Augustlan, Gimme and I are sisters. I asked the question after I spoke to our other sister who was at the piercing place having her 17 year-old daughter’s navel pierced.

Honestly I’m not sure how I feel about it. I mean she is a good kid, but I’m not sure if I would be able to get behind my daughter doing that no matter what. I just don’t know. Fortunately for me I have boys so I’m pretty certain I won’t be facing this situation.

girlofscience's avatar

Yes, my extremely strict parents took me to get mine pierced when I was 16.

If I was able to convince them, any parent who did not allow this would be very, very unreasonable!

I no longer resent my parents as I did when I was a teenager, but I do still feel they were way too overprotective.

(P.S. – I am 22 now, and I still really like the piercing!)

gimmedat's avatar

I understand the desire to reward good behavior, but I feel like there are other ways to do it rather than with something I detest.

Judi's avatar

@girl of science,
Have you had any children yet? My daughter’s piercing stretched out and now sags over her belly button. She is looking forward to the day that she has a “mommy makeover, and gets a new belly button.

girlofscience's avatar

@Judi: No, I am not a mommy yet (I am only 22!), but if become one, it will most likely be through adoption.

augustlan's avatar

@SuperMouse: Thanks for the clarification!

flameboi's avatar

Sure of course, but I’d try to be part of that experience, go with her, make it fun and unforgettable, a piercing is a piercing, the world is not going to end if you support her :)

gimmedat's avatar

Indeed we are sisters which is why I was shocked that some respondants were making suggestions as to what the Mouse should do with her daughter!! Hee hee. I knew she was talking about my other weird-ass sister.

Darwin's avatar

@Mouse – Boys also like to get things pierced, so don’t count yourself lucky yet.

amurican's avatar

Everyone wants to be hip to the trip. Why should she be expected to be any different. If she were having her tongue split that’s something else.

amurican's avatar

Putting beer cans through your ears is where Id draw the line.

dynamicduo's avatar

Yes. Parents who treat their children with respect and allow them to make adult decisions on their own, such as in this case, often have a much better relationship down the line.

spittingamethyst's avatar

Yes. I’m 15. I have mine done. I was a lot like your daughter before I got it, and nothing’s changed except for the fact that I feel better about my appearance and that I’m glad I did it. If she’s seriously wants it and isn’t causing any problems, I wouldn’t see why not.

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