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The_Inquisitor's avatar

Being too honest... = not good?

Asked by The_Inquisitor (3163points) January 22nd, 2009

Honestly, i really like straightforward ppl, who tell me things. I’ve always wanted ppl to tell me their honest opinion. Even if it’s terrible. Such as if a piece of clothing looked absolutely horrifying on me. I’d want to know… I always find that since I want others to be straightforward and honest to me, I think they want to know as well. When i state my opinion to them tho, they will get offended and or sad… So is being too honest not good?

oh, i also want to know the strangest things about myself in others’ views.. like… ‘do i walk funny?’ ‘what do you think of me’? Maybe it’s just me, being too paranoid like always… but i also want to know what things i do that agitate others… Is this a bad thing? D:

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16 Answers

scamp's avatar

Well, it depends on how the honesty is delivered. Try to give an honest answer, but use a lot of tact and kindness when you do it. Try to put yourself in the aser’s position. If you are delivering bad news, think of how you would want to hear it.

dynamicduo's avatar

Some people find honesty to be too blunt for their likings. I’m not one of those people. I highly value honesty and truthfulness even if it may sting. For friendship’s sake, it’s best to test the waters and proceed with a level of honesty that’s appropriate for each person.

Your second question is a bit interesting. Why does it matter if people are agitated by what you do? If it’s serious enough, they’ll tell you. If it’s not serious enough, why does it matter if you know or not? Even more so about what others think of you – why do their opinions matter? As long as you’re having a happy life, and love yourself, that’s all that counts. Living for other people’s happiness and comfort is really not the way to live at all. Life is short, use your time as you want to, not how others want you to.

PupnTaco's avatar

What’s a “ppl?”

cordovanessa's avatar

there is nothing wrong with bieng blunt and straightforward, as long as you tell the person your opinion in a way that doesnt sound mean or judgemental, but there is definately people who value honesty like me. If you are straightforwaed and tell a person the truth they will know that when a complement comes out of your mouth its genuine and true and when you tell them something that they might not like they will know that you are bieng honest, and that they can count on you for that honest oppinion no matter what.

The_Inquisitor's avatar

@Dave- lol. ‘ppl’ stands for people.

@dynamicduo – i dunno. it’s just.. i also get really annoyed of what ppl do sometimes, and i wonder if i’m ever that annoying. :O

The_Inquisitor's avatar

@cordovanessa – Yeah, I have 3 ppl who i always count on for their honest truth, cuz i know they will tell me no matter what, and i trust their taste. 1)one of my close friends 2) my sister 3) my mom. :P

PupnTaco's avatar

I thnk u shd jst b hnst bt ns. <:@)

The_Inquisitor's avatar

hmmm, what would do in this scenario? If one of your good buds wears a disgusting looking sweater to school, and amazingly loves it, talks about it all the time. But everyone else is laughing and snickering about it, and you also think it’s ugly, what would you do? break it to them that it’s not so awesome, or let them have their fun and be happy?

baterpark91's avatar

There is honest, and then there is too honest.

regular honesty is something that is relevent. something that will help someone out.

too much honesty is when you at random critisize someone, that is going slightly too far. (as far as i am concerned)

dynamicduo's avatar

If your friend loves his sweater, why bother telling him that other people think it’s bad? What will he gain out of it? I can’t see anything worthwhile he might get out of it, other than feeling bad and conforming with what you guys think is nice and trendy. So don’t tell him.

I have a related story to share here. I have a sweater that I love so much. It’s a long sleeved rainbow sweater with a zip up the front and two pockets. It’s just the perfect sweater – goes great with any color (well not plaid), pockets are just the right size, and it’s knit so it has holes, which means it’s just the right temperature. I wear it often and get compliments from random people about it. My family was watching that What Not To Wear show on TV and guess what shows up – yes it’s my exact sweater. And the two hosts berated it and made some joke about it looking like a cloud that threw up, etc. They told me about this, and asked if I was going to get rid of it, and I laughed for a good ten minutes. I don’t give one shit about what these uptight television personalities think about fashion. I value my jacket much much more than I value the opinion of two people who have no relevance in my life.

wundayatta's avatar

Some people think they want honesty, and then, when they get it, it hurts too much. No one, especially friends, wants to hurt you, so they will pull their punches, and leave it to someone else to tell you. Only people you love so much that nothing can come between you will be able to tell you the whole truth. Well, except if the person is your significant other.

Personally, I always think the worst, and when I don’t get it, I think people are trying not to hurt my feelings.

Frankly, I think this area of friendship and etiquette is way too complicated to ever be able to offer decent advice on.

scamp's avatar

@dynamicduo you go girl!! Wear that sweater with pride!!

@curiouscat let the person wear and enjoy the sweater. There is no reason to burst someone’s bubble. Being too honest can be hurtful, and frankly it’s rude to give opinions on something like this if you aren’t asked. For me, rule of thumb is: If not asked, don’t tell. ( Unless of course it is something that would cause the person physical harm)

pekenoe's avatar

never too much honesty, too many details maybe.

augustlan's avatar

There are ways to be honest and be kind at the same time. However, your honest opinion needn’t always be volunteered, either. If someone asks for your opinion, tell them…kindly.

May2689's avatar

There are people who like honesty, like you… but most of the people I know are a little sensitive when it comes to honesty. I think that too much honesty is not good generally.

YARNLADY's avatar

It’s too much when people think that being honest means being negative. There a real big difference between the truth and the whole truth. If someone says do you like something, and you don’t like it, you have to say it looks terrible, be honest and say well, I wouldn’t wear it, but what do you think.

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