General Question

robmandu's avatar

Battle of the badass animals.

Asked by robmandu (21252points) February 16th, 2009

In this corner, I have a mantis shrimp.

The “smasher” variant possesses both club- and spear-type appendages which “are employed with blinding quickness, with an acceleration of 10,400 g and speeds of 23 m/s from a standing start, about the acceleration of a .22 caliber bullet. Because they strike so rapidly, they generate cavitation bubbles between the appendage and the striking surface. The collapse of these cavitation bubbles produces measurable forces on their prey in addition to the instantaneous forces of 1,500 N that are caused by the impact of the appendage against the striking surface, which means that the prey is hit twice by a single strike; first by the claw and then by the collapsing cavitation bubbles that immediately follow. Even if the initial strike misses the prey, the resulting shock wave can be enough to kill or stun the prey.”

What are you bringing you the fight?

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36 Answers

willbrawn's avatar

A bear. I win : )

forestGeek's avatar

Killer Bees

Allie's avatar

.. and bears are super cute!

I’ll bring a raptor. Swoop in and pick that sucker up.
Runner up was an alligator or a crocodile.

Mtl_zack's avatar

A narwhal. It would poke you with it’s tooth.

EnzoX24's avatar

A polar bear. I have discussed many times that polar bears would be the most epic hunt. Their size makes them more than formidable, their teeth and claws makes them dangerous, and their camouflage makes them subtle. Not only that, but they are one of the few animals known to stalk humans as prey. I fel for the bastard who gets cornered by one of these.

Grisson's avatar

An underwater camera.

augustlan's avatar

I’ve got Uberbatman. He knows how to deal with your mantis.

Mtl_zack's avatar

A kangaroo can kick you really hard.
A manowar can poison and stun you.

Jayne's avatar

I nominate my peni…Oh wait, that’s eponymoushipster’s job, sorry.

I guess I’ll go with the eight foot long scorpion that lived a few hundred million years ago. He may be old, but you’d best get off his lawn, son.

forestGeek's avatar

Oh crap, are we talking underwater battle? I don’t think my bees would fare to well. :(

If we’re underwater, Humboldt Squid for sure!

EnzoX24's avatar

If this is underwater and (supposedly) extinct animals count, I pick the Megalodon. It could swallow a person whole.

TenaciousDenny's avatar

@augustlan Bear Grylls is still a badass IMO

DeanV's avatar

A pot of boiling water.

Grisson's avatar

@dverhey Mmmmm, etouffée!

AstroChuck's avatar

My money is on the Hypnotoad.
ALL GLORY TO THE HYPNOTOAD!

augustlan's avatar

@TenaciousDenny Les Stroud > Bear Grylls.
In every way.

forestGeek's avatar

Or maybe Atom Ant, he’s pretty badass!

DeanV's avatar

@AstroChuck: The Hypnotoad is pretty badass. But so is Zoidberg…

buster's avatar

A wild turkey drunk on Wild Turkey.

forestGeek's avatar

Buster wins!!! I don’t think anything can beat that for both show, and shear badassness.

AstroChuck's avatar

@Auggie – Les easily outsurvives Bear.

syz's avatar

@forestGeek I thought you meant Adam Ant.

DeanV's avatar

@syz: Adam Ant is one freaky man-child, and i wouldn’t mess with him, either.

Jamspoon's avatar

I think it’s been dubbed the Titanoboa, the 42 foot long, 1100kg, snake discovered in Columbia a little while ago – fossilized mind you. That’s a pretty big snake… it could swallow everything that’s been mentioned.

forestGeek's avatar

@dverhey – I don’t know, I think any of the animals listed here could take Adam Ant! Ok, maybe not Bear Grylls though.

aprilsimnel's avatar

I’ll bring a flea infected with plague.

Nimis's avatar

I’m putting my money on Dr. J.

DeanV's avatar

@forestGeek. He could dance you to death!

forestGeek's avatar

@dverhey – Good point! For this reason I’ll avoid him! :)

brownlemur's avatar

I’ve said it before and I’ll keep saying it: a shark riding on top of an elephant, trampling and eating everything in its path.

AstroChuck's avatar

Land Shark.

augustlan's avatar

Candy-gram.

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