General Question

Kiev749's avatar

Things to talk about?

Asked by Kiev749 (2092points) March 23rd, 2009

I just met this awesome girl the other day and we’ve been texting back and forth but its really hard to keep the conversation going. What are some topics/Techniques that i could use to not make the conversation like an interrogation?
I should also add that I met her at a party through a friend and I really like her.

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14 Answers

essieness's avatar

Ask her what kind of music she likes. You can tell a lot about a person that way. What is she currently reading?

asmonet's avatar

And ask about her taste in books, movies, hobbies, childhood…keep it going learn, learn, learn.
It’s not an interrogation, it’s showing an interest. Keep it natural, comment on what she says, remember it, give feedback offer opinions, don’t just rattle off questions.

Kiev749's avatar

I have but it feels like its an interrogation. Is there anything I can do to spark her interest and have her maybe ask questions too?

essieness's avatar

Is she that hard to talk to? If so, maybe it’s not worth your effort… If it feels like an interrogation, that’s not a good sign.

Mr_M's avatar

It feels like an interrogation because all you’re doing is ASKING about things. Feel free to TELL her information about yourself. Tell her funny stories about yourself. That will bring out the questions in HER.

AlfredaPrufrock's avatar

It’s easier if you have a conversation with her rather than texting her. That’s an interrogation. Or better yet, ask her out for coffee or to go to a concert or something.

chicadelplaya's avatar

Perhaps pick up the phone and actually speak to her. You never know how the conversation might flow and what you may have in common. You could always talk about places you have lived and/or traveled. Music is good, too.

Aethelwine's avatar

I agree with @essieness. If it’s that hard to communicate now, I don’t see it getting any better. When you have a connection with someone, you usually don’t have any trouble communicating. She may be cool and all, just not the right person for you.

AlfredaPrufrock's avatar

Some people are just harder to talk to over the phone or by text than they are in person.

Aethelwine's avatar

@AlfredaPrufrock You make a good point. That would include me. I have a hard time expressing myself over the phone.

augustlan's avatar

Something funny/silly you saw. A song you heard or a book you read that reminded you of her, or thought she might enjoy. Current events… “Did you hear about that volcano in Alaska?”, etc.

AlfredaPrufrock's avatar

—I lose my place in conversations, tend to drift if I’m doing something else while on the phone. In person, it’s easier to focus, and much more fun. And you can be with someone in person, and not say something for awhile, and not have it be awkward.

aprilsimnel's avatar

Can you get together for coffee? Or something else light and friendly? Texting takes away all sorts of nuance that one gets from F2F communication.

lindelizery's avatar

I’ve had a similar problem before – sometimes even if you get along really well with someone, it’s difficult to think of what to say in the beginning. If I’m talking to someone just for the sake of communication, I usually tell them about what I’m doing or thinking (in a conversational way), or I ask them those questions, and expand on the conversation from there. If she’s saying “nothing, you?” it’s going to be a lot more difficult, and for that I’m sorry.

I’m trying to think of an example, though… it’s pretty normal for you to want to know her hobbies/interests, so a little interrogation is ok. Once you have a foundation, though… build off of it. For instance, a guy I liked really loved movies, and he’d seen tons of them… I like films as well, so whenever I watched one I’d text him to ask if he’d seen it, then we’d talk about it… our favorite parts… or I’d tell him about it if he hadn’t seen it, then see what he was up to… and so on. Music is easy to relate to as well… find out what her favorite song is at the moment, then tell her when you hear it on the radio, you know? That sort of thing. The more you get to know her, the more connections you will have to another, and the more you’ll have to talk about.

I hope that helped.

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