Romance is one thing but a serious consideration to marriage, would you make a young partner wait until a certain age before going to take vows?

Can you supply more details about what you are asking? Do you mean an older partner making a young partner wait?

You clearly don’t think it’s right, considering the tag of ‘ageism’.
That’s what I got from it anyway.

Personally, it would depend greatly on the parties involved.

If I was the older partner, and I truly cared about my younger partner, I think I would make them wait until I thought they were really ready. The first time I was engaged, I was 17 years old, and planned on marrying him when I was 18. I felt completely sure that it was what I wanted to do. However, the whole thing fell apart before I turned 18. As devastated as I was right after we broke up, when I look back now I thank my lucky stars that we didn’t get married!

@Marina: That’s exactly what I mean and what I’ve asked.

@asmonet: How did you come to that?

Ok, then. it depends, but I think it would be highly beneficial. Say the young person was 17. By 23, that will be a very different person with different plans and desires and opinions. That amount of change by one partner can put a real strain on a marriage. On the other hand, a relationship that is true will weather that change even if the couple is not married.

@VzzBzz I wasn’t criticizing; I was asking for clarification. Your question did specify that the other partner was older. Thank you for clarifying.

I like to think I would wait until at least 25 for the youngest partner. Would be terrified that they might change on me.

My #1 wife and I were both 23 when we got married. Our plans, goals, and expectations were far beyond our years at 23. By the time we realized that, we were already disappointed to the point that the marriage was unsalvageable. We divorced at 29 before we hated each other, and we maintained a great friendship. Had we waited until we were older, who knows how things would have turned out? I don’t think anybody should marry anybody else until they are both past the “dreams of grandeur” stage.

@ru2bz46: ambition is a dangerous fuel, that and feeling like you’re blessed by god to not possibly fail.

No harm in waiting.. if it’s meant to be it will last through a waiting phase.

@NaturalMineralWater: is there a minimum age you would be comfortable with for your younger partner?

@VzzBzz Yes, I think we both realize that, now.

I refuse to marry before 25. If I ever dated someone under that age, I’d wait for them to turn 25 too. If the relationship is right, you’ll survive – married or not. But I consider marriage to be a very serious commitment, and it’s something that I hope to avoid having several attempts at. I think a person’s personality stabilizes by 25. That’s just me.

lol @ people stabilizing at 25. Okay.

Every relationship is different, people waiting to get married for any reason..is their business. A lot goes into a marriage, and it is hard work. But, a marriage is very similar to a long term committed relationship, you just are legally binded.

@hug_of_war: my husband I are were 21 when we first married, secretly at first but then officially at 23, it was rough- we needed more than love. I wish we’d not been so full of ourselves and had felt “younger” or at least had a little bit of fear in order to wait. It makes me happy to hear people say they want to wait.

The more mature, experienced partner would naturally be interested in doing what is in the best interest of the younger partner.

@Yarnlady: Interested in what’s best but still in love and swayed by what brings joy to the other.

I was 19/20 when I got engaged, and we got married shortly after I turned 22. My husband was 25 when we got married. I guess he’ll be mature for the both of us ;)

@VzzBzz: the mature person recognizes the dividing line between overindulgence versus long term benefits.

@Yarnlady: makes me think age differences are not a bad thing at all :D

@ VzzBzz: Age differences are not as relevant as some people make them out to be. Maturity is a much better gauge. When Hubby and I married, he was 24 as was his roommate. Hubby was a man, ready, willing and able to take on the responsibilities of a husband, while roommate was very immature, and not at all ready. I am 8 years older than Hubby.

@VzzBzz It’s not all about age.. everyone matures differently.. the thing is that love is a choice.. and younger people tend to be more foolhardy with it.. not yet grasping the realistic aspects of relationships

Advice is one thing.. but there really is no magic answer to this.. at some point you will make a choice and what happens happens.

Not a certain age, but a certain time in life certainly. I would not marry before we were both out of college, say, or had lived in the “real world” at least a year. College and the first year or two after are times when people really find out who they are, they can be big changers of people. I would not want to marry until I know who I am on my own. I wouldn’t want my partner to marry me until then either.

I’m pretty young and my babe and I plan to be married as soon as possible. He’s not so young. I don’t think my age ever came into play.

@Facade The @EmpressPixie makes a great point. It’s not your chonological age, but your mental. (no, I didn’t say “you’re mental”)