General Question

wundayatta's avatar

What are the pros and cons of one-night stands?

Asked by wundayatta (58722points) April 3rd, 2009

I’m actually not that interested in your opinions about the morality of one-night stands, although if you must talk about it, go ahead.

What is your conception of the mind-set that leads to a one-night stand? How risky are they? What are your thoughts about the quality of decisions made when deciding to have a one-night stand?

Are they are necessarily the result of spur of the moment decisions? Could they be the result of a general policy the person has? If so, how would you characterize that policy?

Are your thoughts about this different for men and women? If so, why?

Observing members: 0 Composing members: 0

30 Answers

timeand_distance's avatar

Pros: sex
Cons: too-drunk sex, probably regret that in the morning, rushing to planned parenthood for an STD check, etc.

in my experience, at least.

asmonet's avatar

They’re risky, obviously.
Use condoms, birth control and don’t be an idiot and I have no problems with others doing it.

That being said, it’s not my cup of tea. I haven’t done it, and I don’t expect I ever will.

And don’t disregard the moral argument if you’re going to ask us to characterize the policy… It’s just a separate morality. Policy? Morality? Same thing.

YARNLADY's avatar

Pro: it’s supposedly better than Do It Yourself
Pro: it is a very pleasant, possible exciting activity
Con: There is no way casual sex is better than a committed loving relationship
Con: there is a huge risk of unexpected consequences

Allie's avatar

Pro: Sex. Fun.
Con: Lack of any real connection. Waking up and wondering what his last name is.

VzzBzz's avatar

@Yarnlady: uh yeah, what she said. I’ve tried to have one before to see what all the hoople is about but it didn’t work because we kept doing it.

kevbo's avatar

Con: feeling dirty and empty

elijah's avatar

Pros- sex with no strings, immediate gratification, temporary feeling of being desireable
Cons- diseases, no love involved, guilt, possible pregnancy, feeling easy and cheap, losing the respect of others, the walk of shame.

Not worth it in my book.

ru2bz46's avatar

Pro – More sex!
Con – Um…here’s one. Wow.

allen_o's avatar

It’s fun, no negatives if you play your cards right

oratio's avatar

I had a one night-stand once. I don’t like it. It seems so pointless. Works for others, but has no appeal to me.

Zen's avatar

Sorry. I don’t see any pros in the long run.

mattbrowne's avatar

I’m happily married, but theorerically, here are my thoughts:

Pros: If both are consenting, it offers instant relief, otherwise the pressure might be felt for days making people unproductive, hurting shareholder value (the last part was meant as a joke)

Cons: The following days there might be nagging thoughts, even self-doubt about the capability of engaging in serious relationships. This too might make people sad and unproductive with all the consequences…

Sakata's avatar

Now that you can live over 10 years on medication, AIDS isn’t really a big fear anymore compared to what it used to be so I would have to say…

Pro: Ass
Con: Nothing

Rock out with your cock out.

rowenaz's avatar

Pro: It’s fun with no strings attached.
Con: I tried it twice…and both times I ended up married to the guy.

(maybe I should have been a lousier lover! hahahaha)

TheLoneMonk's avatar

I prefer two night stands. They balance the room better.

Nicole18's avatar

you can have sex with out any attachments.

TitsMcGhee's avatar

“With women, there are really only two options. Either she doesn’t sleep with you and there’s really no reason to ever call her again. Or she does sleep with you… and there’s really no reason to ever call her again.”

Not really. To me, if you’re emotionally secure enough to just have a one night stand, and you’re careful about the responsibilities that accompany having sex with anyone, then by all means, go right ahead. Diseases and pregnancy are always a possibility when having sex, though it does decrease in likelihood with one monogamous partner. I’ve done it a few times, and the only cons I’ve encountered are one party becoming more invested than the other and doing the walk of shame. I actually had one the other night that I’m thinking was more than just that, and I think he’s on the same page too… Cross your fingers for me!

TitsMcGhee's avatar

@ru2bz46: Thanks :) I am in the middle of that weird period of time when you don’t want to seem too eager or desperate, but you do want them to know you’re thinking about them…. fuuuuuuuck. I hate waiting.

ru2bz46's avatar

@TitsMcGhee I feel for you. I hate dating. I’m about to be back out there again, and I don’t even remember how to do it. I may just be a hermit, instead. ;-)

TitsMcGhee's avatar

@ru2bz46: My biggest problem is assuming too much about the level of interest, either my own or the guy’s. It can be a bitch fo sho.

ru2bz46's avatar

@TitsMcGhee I guess I’m a bit old school, but I figure once it gets to the point of having sex, the interest is there. I had a quasi-one-nighter years back, but it turned into a weekend, then every couple days for about two weeks. I assumed that we were now “together”, but finally my friend asked the two of us one day, “So, are you two together, or what?” Suddenly, I realized that nothing was actually official; we were just banging like bunnies. We kinda looked at each other for confirmation and answered, “uh, yeah”. Incidentally, that curious friend eventually became my wife.

TitsMcGhee's avatar

@ru2bz46: Well, that gives me a little more confidence. I’m mostly nervous with this one because he’s a bartender and the whole thing could’ve just been the bartender charm. I just want to be realistic enough so I don’t get too into it and get disappointed.

ru2bz46's avatar

@TitsMcGhee I guess you can just play it cool for a little while. Let him know that you are still interested (not by sleeping on his doorstep or anything, but just do everything the same as before…only with a little more smiles and such). If he’s still interested, he’ll reciprocate. It seems you two see each other often anyway, so just keep it up.

aviona's avatar

PROS: Orgasms/sex without strings attached. As @elijahsuicide said, immediate gratification and feeling desirable/sexy.

CONS: Emotional attachment and no reciprocation/unrequited love, STDs/pregnancy (more risky with one night stands = less communication?), feeling regret later (especially if under the influence at the time)

nayeight's avatar

Hmm does it count if you met the guy the day before and your friends know him? If it does then I have had a 1 night stand. He was some guy named Cody from South Dakota and he was really cute. I never spoke to him again but I always look back on it with fond memories. I didn’t expect anything from him and I’m almost 100% sure he didn’t expect anything from me. I really don’t know his last name…I should facebook him.

ru2bz46's avatar

@nayeight LOL! South Dakota Cody!

nayeight's avatar

Yeah…I know. It’s so easy to remember his name. He also spoke Greek (which I thought was amazing) and there was a special part of his male anatomy that was pierced as well. Very unexpected…

ru2bz46's avatar

@nayeight Oh, so he got “male enhancement”...

ShauneP82's avatar

Pro: All the kinky fun you want. Quite often a bang buddy will try a lot more. Especially if they are hopeful for a relationship and you just want to play.

Con: The awkward morning. Where you make weird smiles at each other and try to slip out of the house without hurting their feelings.

Answer this question




to answer.

This question is in the General Section. Responses must be helpful and on-topic.

Your answer will be saved while you login or join.

Have a question? Ask Fluther!

What do you know more about?
Knowledge Networking @ Fluther