General Question

Facade's avatar

Is it ridiculous that I feel it's too intimate for people to see me without make up on?

Asked by Facade (22884points) May 15th, 2009
Observing members: 0 Composing members: 0

32 Answers

Darwin's avatar

My grandmother felt that way. Even my grandfather never saw her without her face on. Of course, they had separate bedrooms.

I can’t say it is ridiculous, but it isn’t for everyone.

seekingwolf's avatar

No, my mom feels the same way.

If you wear make up everyday, it’s your face and how people see you. To “reveal” what’s underneath it to someone is very intimate and makes you vulnerable.

Def not for me, but hey, we’re all different, right?

Facade's avatar

@Darwin I let my babe and only him see me without it on. He says he likes me best that way. @seekingwolf yes we are

seekingwolf's avatar


It’s a good sign that he likes you best without your make up face on. :) Wonderful to hear!

Facade's avatar

yea, he’s fantastic :)

reverie's avatar

I think it’s a shame, but I don’t think it’s ridiculous at all – you can’t help the way you feel. I only think it’s a shame because I think make-up really isn’t a big deal – I’ve never known a single person look dramatically better or worse with make-up, and therefore I think it’s a pity when people are uncomfortable without it.

Make-up is just one of the many ways people choose to present themselves physically. Some people don’t ever like to wear casual clothes and feel more comfortable when they are dressed up. On the other hand, others might feel really self-conscious wearing a formal outfit. Some folk would feel strange if they had to stop dying their hair and let people see their natural hair colour.

In short, I think it’s fairly normal to feel a bit strange when you present yourself in a way that is different to how you usually appear. A lot of people would feel comfortable doing this only in private, which is why I think you might find it too intimate or revealing going without make-up in public.

aidje's avatar

I have a friend or two who won’t be seen without their makeup. I view it as a self-confidence problem. It makes me very sad and it makes me want to punch Max Factor in the face.

Facade's avatar

Max Factor sucks

wundayatta's avatar

Obviously, makeup is just like clothes to you. You wouldn’t appear in public without your makeup on any more that you would without your clothes—are you very meticulous about what you wear?

Here’s a question though. Suppose your parents were visiting. Would you appear before them without makeup? Would you appear before them in your pajamas? I.e., is it more important to wear makeup than it is to have your daytime clothes on?

What if it were a friend or a sibling visiting?

aidje's avatar

@Facade Just to clarify, I am speaking of the father of modern cosmetics, not the cosmetics firm that he founded.

Facade's avatar

@daloon I like to look polished whenever in public. I’m picky about my clothes, makeup, and hair. If my parents were visiting, I wouldn’t worry about it (just pray they don’t mention my weight or that my father doesn’t tell me I look like a boy). Yea, I’d pick makeup over day clothes. I only have acquaintances, so yes, I’d like to be put-together if they were visiting.
@aidje Oh, ok, gotcha.

wundayatta's avatar

@Facade Just so I’m clear—that means you would appear in front of visitors in pajamas, so long as you were also wearing makeup? But you would appear in front of your parents without makeup?

Can I also safely assume that you would never ever ever join in the customary outfit in a place where clothing is optional?

Facade's avatar

@daloon Yep, yep and yep

jbfletcherfan's avatar

My husband, too, likes me without make-up. He always has. But when I’m just around the hous here & I know that I’m not going anywhere or anyone is coming, I forego the make-up. But when I’m going out, I wouldn’t dream of not having make-up on & my hair done.

@facade, your obsession with it MAY be a little over the top, tho. You appear to be a little vain.

Facade's avatar

I wouldn’t call it an obsession; I don’t think I’m vain either.

hug_of_war's avatar

I think it’s slightly ridiculous, but mostly just sad

reverie's avatar

@jbfletcherfan – I don’t think it’s particularly fair to say @Facade has an obsession or may be a little vain. I appreciate you’re only tentatively suggesting those things and not accusing her of anything at all, but I don’t think either of those claims can really be made on the basis of her responses here.

I personally can’t imagine having your views – not ever going out of the house without make-up on and hair done. But do I think you’re a bit obsessive or vain for being like that? Not at all – it’s just different to me. I wouldn’t presume to know the motives behind it, and whether they were rooted in obsession or excessive vanity.

At the end of the day, if someone’s personal habits with regards to the wearing of make up aren’t causing them any distress, then I think it’s fine and totally harmless – it needn’t be a problem. If someone is particularly attached to make up for other reasons – low self-esteem, insecurities about physical appearance, then they may want to try and address those things. I don’t think people should assume that someone’s attachment to make-up is necessarily indicative of a personal issue that needs resolving.

casheroo's avatar

I’ve heard of women saying they feel naked without their makeup on, but I’ve never heard of women taking it so far as to say it’s intimate to be seen without their makeup…that’s pretty damn ridiculous.
And definitely sad that people are that reliant on makeup to make them feel good about themselves.

westy81585's avatar

I’m the same way with my eyes. I’ve had colored/cosmetic contact lenses since I was 16/17…. since then, less than 10 people have seen my real eyes.

hungryhungryhortence's avatar

Not at all, it is very intimate :D

blondie411's avatar

Well if you think about it…if your a person that has been wearing makeup every day since you are 13 years old and everyone knows what you look like with it then maybe it might be a little like a guard is left down when you don’t. It could be a security blanket. I could see where it could be intimacy, but mostly vanity. I think most people don’t notice if you are wearing make up at all.

Facade's avatar

@blondie411 They have definitely noticed

Supacase's avatar

Wow, I can’t really relate since I rarely bother to wear makeup at all.

I don’t think it is ridiculous, but I do think it must be a pain in the ass. If you order take out do you make sure to have makeup on before answering the door? I think it would be very freeing to try going without makeup during a few insignificant encounters with other people – I bet you will find that people don’t treat you any differently. Now that I think about it, though, if you think it is an intimacy issue then a stranger like the delivery guy might be the last person you would want to try this on.

My main thought, though, is do you think it is ridiculous? I only wonder because you posted this question, so it must be running through your mind. Or did someone say something to you about it?

essieness's avatar

I feel the same way. I feel like I look like a different person without makeup. Not in a good way. I will go around the house without it but I’m definitely not going out in public without at least some foundation and concealer. Well, unless I’m just driving to the bank or something where I don’t have to get out of my car, and even then I won’t take off my sunglasses. I’m not insecure about much, but no makeup is definitely one of my insecurities.

Darwin's avatar

Typically I only wear make up on stage or if a movie role requires it. Otherwise, what you see is what you get, and there isn’t enough make up in the world to make me look the way I would like. My husband prefers me without make up and I do, too, so that’s how I roll.

Facade's avatar

@Supacase I don’t think it is, but my boyfriend does.

@essieness We’re in the same boat.

Thebigbaboo's avatar

Define “people”. Lovers? Friends?

You sound shallow. May be nothing is behind the makeup?

Sscoolio's avatar

Makeup is overrated. Guys don’t evan really like girls with a lot of makeup on. Try easing off by applying less and less makeup each day until you are comfertable without it on. If I were a girl, that’s what I would do.

Facade's avatar

@Thebigbaboo Since you don’t know me, I’ll go ahead and tell you I care just as much about what’s on the inside as the outside. It’s ok; I forgive you.

@Sscoolio I don’t remember saying I wear a lot of makeup. And I could care less what “guys like.”

MacBean's avatar

It’s interestingly appropriate that this question comes from “Facade.”

Facade's avatar

@MacBean Seems that way, but my s/n has nothing to do with my appearance :)

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