General Question

noelasun's avatar

Have you ever had internal grappling about buying something you wanted because of how people would perceive you?

Asked by noelasun (1894points) May 21st, 2009

Something expensive, something inexpensive, in good taste, not of good taste, etc.
If so, what was it and what made you hesitate?
(I myself have trouble buying “less worthy” books- I want to read that alternate universe space traveling vampire novel- yes, but I can’t bear for it to be found on my bookshelf.)

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19 Answers

BookReader's avatar

…i flip a coin- heads or tails, yes or no, right or left…

TaoSan's avatar

nah, I’m not that interested in other people…

hungryhungryhortence's avatar

Condoms. I always look on that as, “the man’s thing”, it shouldn’t but it definitely would make me feel uncomfortable buying them in a store. I always think I should contribute to buying them to show my participation and support in disease prevention but then chicken out and leave it up to the him.

elijah's avatar

Sometimes I have a hard time buying expensive clothes or accessories because whenever you show that you care about fashion and style you’re automatically labeled a shallow trend follower. I love fashion, but if I buy a new pair of shoes I know people don’t look at them and see the high quality materials and workmanship, asthetic beauty, artistic lines and relevance and relation to fashion past, present, and future. Fashion is history. Most people only see nice things and make remarks how stupid and wasteful it is, and how they could find good enough shoes at walmart.
I don’t understand why people think they have a right to judge how I spend my money. It’s not shallow if it brings me enjoyment.

Loried2008's avatar

Put it on your bookshelf!!! Personally in good taste I put things away that may offend someone simply because I don’t like to be offensive, other than that you are who you are and you like what you like!! Don’t let other people’s opinions rule how you live your life!

essieness's avatar

I felt that way about my iPhone. I thought it was ridiculous that people were so attached to their iPhones. But now… I get it.

LKidKyle1985's avatar

when ever i think about buying porn I’m like hmmm, someone is going to see me walk in or out of here.

noelasun's avatar

@Loried2008 I totally would, but I’m a book snob and it makes me cringe to see said novel on the same shelf as the illiad etc.

=( I want to be less of a book snob. I really really do.

susanc's avatar

For my 40th birthday my mother said she wanted to buy me a new car to replace the battered mini-truck I’d been driving for 9 years (it embarrassed her) but she said I couldn’t buy a Mercedes. (That was a jump I hadn’t contemplated making; the truck fit in perfectly with our messed-up lifestyle.)

Then “somehow” my husband (an excellent mechanic) noticed an ad for a used, same-year Mercedes at a low price and made the call in spite of my mother’s one condition. It was owned by a Saudi student living in a nearby college town, sent there by his family to straighten him out before he inherited his princedom; but he had gambling debts and wanted to sell his car.


So the kid dropped the price.

This was a fantastic car. Beautiful. Maybe eight months old. He drove it over here to show it to us. Rick checked it out, the mechanicals were great. He begged me to buy it. He said even if we don’t keep it, we should buy it, sell it, make some money.

NOOOOO! NO MERCEDES!! We are not Mercedes people! We live in a factory for god’s sake!!

The kid dropped the price again! He only wanted $3,000!!
NO NO NO! No Mercedes!!!!

I bought an infinitesimally small Honda Civic FE which got 51mpg and cost $6000 of my ma’s money.

Didn’t want people (including my ma) to think I was uppity.

How uppity was that????!

Loried2008's avatar

I know what you mean, I myself love good literature, but I find joy in reading almost anything (even the old Marvel comic books) I’d keep a separate bookshelf for things you enjoy checking out, and another bookshelf for the timeless classics :)

essieness's avatar

@susanc So you spent twice as much money to be perceived as not uppity… Haha, great story!

Edit: I just realized that sounded snotty… Totally didn’t mean it that way!

cak's avatar

I spent over a year grumbling about my car. My husband is a mechanic, I am self-employed and we live life without spending on crazy, expensive things. Then, I had a birthday. My husband bought me a car, a hybrid…a Lexus. Did I love it? Oh, good gravy, YES! They are really nice, there is no doubt about that…gorgeous inside and out. I hated the thought that I was in a luxury car, though. Who me? I drove a Neon, only a few years before that…and a beat up Chevy Celebrity, through college and my first job.

I wanted to trade it in for the longest time, but here’s the thing. We got a great deal. It’s almost paid off and he works for Lexus – so yeah, we got a great deal. Do I trade this in and start all over? That makes zero sense, to me.

Everyone that knows me understands that I am not the label. I struggled with it more than they did. They said it was about time I got something nice, since I always skimped on myself. I’ll have the car until it dies…and my husband is a mechanic, that won’t happen any time soon.

cwilbur's avatar

I tend not to worry about what people I don’t know think.

I do ask myself things like, “What would my mother think about this?” but that’s because my mother had good judgment.

LC_Beta's avatar

My company gave everybody a Wii console for Christmas last year, but I didn’t have a television. I wanted to use the wii, but the idea of having a TV in my house, even if it didn’t get any channels, was painful! I waited for a couple months, and then finally gave in an snuck off to get a TV. But it stayed hidden in the spare bedroom for an additional couple of months before I could stand to see it in the livingroom. Now it’s there, and I’m getting used to it, but the problem is that the wii turned out not to be very appealing to me, so now only my guests use it! Oh well.

elijah's avatar

Oh, I thought of something else- my pink plastic flamingos in my back yard. Everyone makes fun of them. I saw them in the store, and I needed them even though I knew I would be laughed at.

Facade's avatar

I sometimes feel bad for buying things at all because I’m very broke. People tell me I’m wasting money. But hey, I have no bills, etc., so what does it matter?

essieness's avatar

@elijah Pink flamingos?! That rocks!

bezdomnaya's avatar

My best friend wanted to get me Justin Timberlake’s album ‘Justified’ a few years ago for Christmas. She chickened out because the guy working at the record store was cute, and she didn’t want him to judge her. She ended up getting me a Mars Volta or Murder by Death CD instead, which I’m totally happy with… but I still wish I could listen to ‘Rock Your Body’ right now. Obviously, I’m too chicken to go buy it myself either.

Likeradar's avatar

Sometimes. I have a sick, sad love of clothes some less awesome people would call tacky. But I usually buy them anyway. It’s my body to dress as I please. :)

@elijah The second I have a yard, I will be joining you in pink flamingo ownership!

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