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thetypicalusername's avatar

What is the proper way to inform your employer that you will not be returning to work after your child is born and when should it be done?

Asked by thetypicalusername (199points) May 23rd, 2009

My boyfriend and I have decided that we both like the idea of me becoming a stay at home mother rather than going back to work after our baby is born. My insurance allots 4 weeks of maternity leave and I don’t know when or how I should inform my employer. I would also like to continue my insurance as long as I possibly can before joining my boyfriends. I don’t want them to drop my coverage as soon as I tell them. Thank you for your answers!

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9 Answers

The_Compassionate_Heretic's avatar

I’m not an hr person but I wouldn’t show my hand too soon in that situation. Businesses care more about money than their employees. If they can get out of paying for your leave, they will.

PandoraBoxx's avatar

I would not mention that you are not coming back until after you do come back. Otherwise, your insurance most likely will be terminated. Check your boyfriend’s certificate of coverage as to how they define a family or household. Many policies will cover your child, but not you, as you are not married. You want to get that situation straight before you make any decisions. Also check the certificate for “continuity of coverage” and if there is a waiting period for coverage. If you were to let your coverage stop, and then try to get onto another plan, it could be 15 or 18 months before you are covered.

justwannaknow's avatar

When your maternity leave is up, go back for a week. Then tell them you need to be home with the baby and thanks for the job but you must leave.

thetypicalusername's avatar

@The Commpass—My boyfriend is in the process of finding all of that out. We might marry before the baby is born, but it’s not definite plan. Thank you!

@justwannaknow—My closest family member is 2600 miles away and the thought of a baby-sitter watching my 1 month old baby for 8 1/2 hours absolutely terrifies me! That is not an option. I am not dismissing your advice…there just has to be another way!

Do any others have any insight??

PandoraBoxx's avatar

It was very hard for me when I went back to work after the birth of my first child. We ended up selecting a day care center run by an area community ministries program at a church that we did not belong to. None of the families at the day care actually belonged to the church that the center was located in, however, many of the friendships forged with the other families at the day care center are still intact with our family today, 22 years later.

My family laid a lot of guilt on me about going back to work, but offered no support to help out the situation. Having a child in a child care situation is expensive, but qualified child care centers offer much more structure and guidance than leaving your child in someone’s home; in a child care center, people are coming and going all day long, and relationships with other parents are invaluable.

There’s lots to weigh in the decision to stay home or not—finances, could you go back to work easily if you had to, is quality care available.

Supacase's avatar

The responsible thing to do is give your two week notice just as you normally would. The problem with that is they might be able to cut your maternity leave short by two weeks and leave you without those weeks of pay. On the upside, you may be able to get unemployment if they do that.

What I would probably do is call them a couple of days before and say you are coming back but are putting in your two week notice as of that day. Hopefully they will tell you not to bother coming back, which will still allow you to say on future applications that you have always given notice. Also, it is a good possibility they will do this if they have already trained someone to do your job for a month. If they do want you back for the two weeks and you just can’t do it, call them the next day and tell them you want to do the right thing but have changed your mind and feel unable to put your child in the care of someone else for two weeks.

PandoraBoxx's avatar

In addition to maternity leave, you will want to use up any vacation or sick days as part of your leave time. Otherwise, if you terminate early, you may lose that.

You may find that you do want to go back to work, if even on a part time basis. Staying home all day with a baby is extremely stressful and isolating, especially if you don’t have friends and neighbors who are also stay at home moms. Being home all day could change your relationship with your boyfriend, as your roles change.

SirBailey's avatar

Never say never. Don’t burn your bridges. Tell them you will be out indefinitely. Who knows? In this economic climate any thing can happen.

Skippy's avatar

With FMLA, you can take 12 weeks, even tho they are only paying you for 4.
I agree, don’t burn your bridges, because you just might need them as a reference someday. Be kind and give notice, but as said before, use all vacation and sick time before your leave begins…..You may not be eligible to have it once you’ve given notice.

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