General Question

nametab's avatar

Is it wrong to let someone who fancies you buy you gifts even if you have no intentions to go out with them?

Asked by nametab (1points) May 30th, 2009
Observing members: 0 Composing members: 0

34 Answers

jbfletcherfan's avatar

Of course it’s wrong. So you’re in it just for the gifts? This is a selfish practice. Let him go.

nametab's avatar

He was going to give me his house, then I started to feel bad so I told him don’t give me stuff as much.

swtsally's avatar

putting false hopes in someone is a cruel thing to do. there is such a thing as karma…

bythebay's avatar

I’m sure, how generous of you to turn down his house. Maybe you should only take a car and some art work? You are far too kind and this question is far too stupid.

nametab's avatar

He likes buying me these things

hug_of_war's avatar

I can assure you he wouldn’t like buying you things if he knew you didn’t like him.

nametab's avatar

Well he does say “You don’t even like me” sometimes so I think he does.

hug_of_war's avatar

He probably thinks he can change your mind then with gifts.

jbfletcherfan's avatar

This isn’t a question of who likes to do what. You are USING this man. Insist that he stop with the gifting.

dynamicduo's avatar

Yes. This is leading someone on for your own benefit. You should take the higher road and not accept the gifts.

nametab's avatar

He sees how they make me and that makes him happy

jbfletcherfan's avatar

Ooooh, boy. You just don’t get it, do you?

nametab's avatar

So should I just have sex with him to make ti better?

jbfletcherfan's avatar

NO! Don’t make it worse. Don’t you feel just a little bit shitty about this???

evolverevolve's avatar

Yea, you should probably have some pity sex with him.

casheroo's avatar

Are you leading him on? Giving him hope that your friendship will turn into something else? Or does he know you aren’t interested, but still buys you things?
I’m married, so I would never accept a gift from another man like that, but if I were single..I’m sorry, but I have no issue with accepting gifts, even if I’m not involved with the guy. As long as he is perfectly aware that it’s not going to get me to like him, and that there are no strings attached.
You need to let this guy know how you really feel about him.

Likeradar's avatar

@nametab And what’s your response when he says “You don’t like me”?

cyn's avatar


aprilsimnel's avatar

Not for nothing, but is this a trolling Q? And if it isn’t, I say give it all back to him at once, leave the poor man alone and stop leading him on. It’s immoral to take advantage of someone’s foolishness.

nametab's avatar

I’m not trying to lead him on, I say what I feel, in his head he want to be kind and give me stuff.

aprilsimnel's avatar

But just by your coming around him and accepting gifts from him, he will convince himself that he’s got a chance to win your love (or sleep with you, or whatever), no matter by how thin a thread. At this point, by the very fact you’re asking this Q, you know deep down that something is not right.

Put yourself in his place. Would you want someone taking advantage of you in this way?

nametab's avatar

Not even a trip to america?

This has happened to me before, I really felt the other person would care for me as much as I did them it never happened and it broke my heart.

aprilsimnel's avatar

No, not for me. I know for me, I’d have a bad feeling in my gut the entire time that would taint the experience, and he’d know it, and then he’d feel bad.

FireMadeFlesh's avatar

No. Someone who overburdens you with gifts is desperate, and you should end their misery one way or another. Either tell them that you don’t need gifts to be with them, or that they haven’t a hope anyway.

Likeradar's avatar

By the way, are you asking for this stuff/hinting that you want it, or is he just showing up at your door with gifts?

I once dated a guy who showered me with expensive gifts, and I just wasn’t that into him. It was a turn off that he seemed so desperate that he had to keep buying me stuff. It was at the point that I quickly learned not to even say “oh, I like that” while we were out because I knew next time I saw him he’d have it for me. I broke up with him after a few months partially because it was such an annoying burden. I guess I just don’t see the appeal…

cak's avatar

Wow. How greedy can one person be? How kind of you not to take his house.

Leave this poor person alone. Stop using him, stop taking advantage of him. You aren’t even a good friend, you’re taking him for material goods and that is it. How do you sleep at night?


FireMadeFlesh's avatar

Ahh big mistake, replace my “no” above with “yes”.

SuperMouse's avatar

No matter what he says to you, he continues to buy you things, and offered you a house because he thinks it might make you love him. It is wrong for you to take anything from him – regardless of what he says to you. Back off and let the guy find someone who will love him.

gymnastchick729's avatar

its fine as long as they know you intentions

spresto's avatar

Yes. If you are that kind of bitch then you deserve 50 lashes and a salting.

DarkScribe's avatar

If it apparent that they person making the gift is “courting”, then yes it is wrong. Otherwise, no, people often give gifts without expecting romantic or sexual reward.

lucillelucillelucille's avatar

Yes,Now,go get a job.

Answer this question




to answer.

This question is in the General Section. Responses must be helpful and on-topic.

Your answer will be saved while you login or join.

Have a question? Ask Fluther!

What do you know more about?
Knowledge Networking @ Fluther