General Question

todeshaschen's avatar

Say you love someone so much that you can't let them go even though they hurt you emotionally. What do you do?

Asked by todeshaschen (43points) June 13th, 2009
Observing members: 0 Composing members: 0

12 Answers

casheroo's avatar

You let them go. You move on. You’ll be happier in the end, trust me.

Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

I’ve been there – I’m still with them and am happy, so I want you to know it’s possible to move on and still remain with them – it all depends on why they hurt you, how they feel about it, what promises to change they have made and if you believe them

rooeytoo's avatar

Is the hurting still happening? If it is an ongoing thing and the other person knows they are hurting you and doesn’t stop, then you better move on.

If it is a matter of trust after the hurt is over then it is up to you to know if you can ever forgive and forget and move on, if you can’t get past it, then again I would say it is time to move on.

SuperMouse's avatar

Work hard on yourself. Be proud of who you and confident when yourself. As you work through the process you will realize that you are worthy of a great relationship with a person who treats you respectfully and doesn’t hurt you.

RealEyesRealizeRealLies's avatar

That’s not love. That’s being possessive and insecure. Love is the art of letting go.

hearkat's avatar

Learn to detach yourself from their issues so that you can end the cycle that created the issue that caused you pain. Even if your beloved is not a drinker, some of the concepts from Al-Anon will be beneficial.

You need to take care of and responsibility for yourself and your beloved must do the same. If both partners are truly willing, it is possible to change communication and behavior patterns that create conflict and hurt.

However, if one partner is incapable or unwilling to acknowledge the part they play, then the patterns will likely repeat until the other realizes that they can not tolerate the pain any longer and learns to let go.

I have been through this a few times; and it isn’t easy to let go, but sometimes it is the best thing for both people to shift the focus onto themselves, so they can learn and grow to become stronger individuals.

Good luck to you.

El_Perseguidor's avatar

You know what? If you are asking that right now is because you already know the answer: It is over baby… I don’t know since when, but you do…
Actually, I think you are getting overt it, that’s why you are asking for support.

chelseababyy's avatar

As I’ve said before

You let them go, as hard as it may be. You can’t keep hurting yourself by being with them. Let go, and what’s meant to be, will be. What’s not, will fade as time goes on.

Stage one is trying as hard as you can to avoid them. You’ll cry a lot, and be really down, but take your mind off of things. Go out with friends or take up a hobby. It will make time pass much easier. Stage two is when you start realizing how much better you feel. You feel like a weight has been lifted and you realize you’re better off the way you are alone. Stage three which may or may not happen, is that person realizing they want you back. That’s your decision entirely whether you want them back or not. Have they changed? That’s for you to decide.. Know that you will have to talk to them about changes being made. My ex would disappear from time to time (at this point we were together 2+ years) and I couldn’t handle it anymore. He kept telling me how things would change, and I’d believe him, and they would change, for a month or so, then it was back to the way it used to be. Finally I let him go, and we got back together, but ultimately we ended up apart, and I met someone completely different, and utterly amazing. It was a hard decision to let go, but I do not regret it at all, and my life has been much better, and filled with much less hurt.

lady4life's avatar

Learn to love yourself first and foremost..

you owe it to yourself to be with someone who can appreciate your worth..

You already know the answer to this question yet knowing does not make it easier..

Respecting yourself helps to figure out if this person should be in your life..are you placing “them” before “you”

ABoyNamedBoobs03's avatar

My brother… is dating a Bitch.

It’s not opinion, everyone who meets her absolutely hates her.

He doesn’t see it, doesn’t see how miserable she makes him, because his opinion of himself is so Terrible that he thinks he needs her.

He Doesn’t, he’s a great guy, but he doesn’t see that because she’s constantly putting him down.

you don’t need whoever it is that you think you do. It just might be that they’re the one who’s holding you back….

Poser's avatar

I guess I’d have to grow a pair of testicles.

wundayatta's avatar

Get therapy. It’s a sign that you don’t think much of yourself.

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