General Question

Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

Of the three, if at all, are you most likely to not talk about: your weight, your age or the # of sexual partners that you've had?

Asked by Simone_De_Beauvoir (38932points) June 19th, 2009

Do you have any of these hang-ups. In our society, people say that women are less likely to reveal their age or weight and of course this has to do with the expectations that they forever remain thin and young and fertile but how does this manifest itself in your life? Does your gender play a role in whether or not you can ‘reveal’ these things that, to some, are not a big deal to reveal? Why are some of us so ashamed to say how much we weigh, how old we are (the most difficult ‘shame’ for me to understand, of the three) or how many people we’ve slept with? Again, gender plays a role as the old double standard rings true where a woman can’t have ‘many’ (however that’s defined) sexual partners without getting the inevitable and stupid ‘slut’ label whereas a man can boast openly…do you think this is true for you and in your life experience, has there been a time when you felt more comfortable revealing your age, weight, or number or partners?

For me, the hardest to reveal would be my weight as I’ve been pregnant on and off for the past 3 years and my body isn’t what it used to be at all though I’m working hard to get it back. My age is considered young so I suppose there are no mental blocks yet for me to reveal it. And I’ve had many sexual partners, imo, maybe over 30, who knwos, of all genders and sexual persuasions. My sexual history is irrelevant as I remember being called a ‘whore’ when I was still a virgin and not even anywhere near a penis or a vagina – people say these things no matter what…and btw, I’m 194lbs and am 25 years old…

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47 Answers

MrGV's avatar

I’m pretty proud of all 3 of those aspects right now so my answer is none.

Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

@MrGeneVan then, write them here

casheroo's avatar

I don’t talk about how many people I’ve had sex with, unless I’m having sex with you (or you’re one of my close friends) It’s no ones business.
I don’t care about telling people my age(I’m 22), but I’m young. Maybe it’ll bother me when I’m older, but I doubt it. My mother looks very young for her age, and I’m hoping I get those genes as well, so I’ll be proud to tell people my age.
I also don’t care if people know my weight. I’m 5’6 and less than 115 pounds. At my biggest, I was 164 pounds, at 9 months pregnant. I’m not ashamed. I carried a damn baby, I get to gain weight and take time to lose it. lol

Les's avatar

At this point, I don’t care about any of those things. Like @casheroo said, maybe there will be a point when I won’t want to talk casually about any of them, but I’m young and happy, so why not. In the order you listed: 156, 25, 0.

casheroo's avatar

@Les Are you waiting for marriage?

Les's avatar

@casheroo
Yeah, I would never have thought so, but I am. My reasoning is that I think that is a really special thing to be able to offer someone. I’d like that someone to be the person I am going to spend my life with.

casheroo's avatar

@Les Good for you! I think thats great. My friend was waiting but then gave it up at 21…seems like such a waste when you wait for someone special and then just scrap it. I admire devotion to it. I wish I had waited longer until I started having sex. But, it’s not something I dwell on.

MrItty's avatar

sex partners. My approximate age and weight are plainly visible, and therefore not secrets. My sexual history is private info, between myself and the women involved. I’ll talk about it if the conversation calls for it, but I don’t generally volunteer any such info.

Judi's avatar

My age is easy since everyone tells me that I am pretty hot for being a granny. (I’m 48 and have 4.5 grandchildren:)
My weight was great about a year ago but I’ve gained a few pounds (getting lax on the exercise) but 145 is not bad fro a granny either.
As for the last question, I came of age in the 70’s, before AIDS and that’s all I’m willing to say about that.

wundayatta's avatar

Weight and age, I don’t have much problem with, where appropriate! I.e., if it’s relevant to the relationship, not a polling question. My numeric sexual history is not something I talk about, and even if I did, I would be pretty vague because my memory is not what it used to be. All I know is that I started late, so I always felt that everyone else was having more fun than I was.

loser's avatar

My weight. I’ve gained some. Nobody believes how old I am so I have fun with that one and I’m pretty sure nobody cares how many sexual partners I’ve had.

Saturated_Brain's avatar

Weight: Ah who cares?
Age: Sometimes yes, sometimes no. Depends on the circumstances.
No. of sexual partners: Ooh la la.. Secret secret.. Now that’s something I wouldn’t wanna talk about openly, although it’s probably also because where I live people can be a bit conservative about it (it’s just not your normal everyday conversation topic).

Likeradar's avatar

My weight, absolutely.
I’m fine with my age and the number of sexual partners I’ve had. I’m less thrilled with my weight, so very few people know it.

Isn’t it weird how some people (maybe mostly girls) don’t want to tell their weight? You can tell by looking at someone how fat or thin they are, what’s our hang up about having a number with it?

dalepetrie's avatar

None of them bothers me. Sex partners is probably the most sensitive for me because one, I do consider my sex life to be private, and two, it’s embarrassingly low. But for me, talking to others about my sex life is really more sensitive when you are talking about details. I also am not a person who is all that impressed when people offer up their sexual exploits. But when someone asks a specific questions for innocent reasons (and I consider this a fair forum), I have no problem stating that the answer is only 2.

My age, well I see no problem stating that I’m 38…I’d like to be younger…getting older is strange to me, because in some ways I still feel like a kid. But age, who cares? It is what it is. I’m more embarrassed of the fact that some days I feel like I’m 83.

As for weight, well I’m huge, but you can tell that by looking at me. I am however for lack of a better way of putting it “densely packed”, so one might not guess I’m about 380….which is a) a guesstimate as most scales will only go up to 330, and b) the most I’ve ever weighed. When I was about 50 lbs lighter than I am now, people would actually guess me to be about 100 pounds lighter than I actually was, so I’d be surprised if most people looking at me would guess over 300. I guess for me the whole weight thing is, I do want to lose a significant amount of weight, but if I can’t admit to others how much I weigh, that’s kind of like denial, and it’s one step from me being able to not admit to myself that I’m too frickin’ fat. If I can’t own up to the fact that I’ve got a problem, then it’s never going to get better, now is it?

And I will note here as an afterthought that it’s interesting to read all the answers saying they don’t care about x or y, but where they don’t then post the answer.

just sayin’

casheroo's avatar

@Likeradar are you kidding me? I’ve seen your pictures, you have nothing to worry about when it comes to weight. You look really tall, so you have to factor that in as well. I’m 5’6 so I obviously won’t be 100lbs or I’d look disgusting, but someone 5’ could pull it off. From pictures, you look about 5’7, really lean.

Likeradar's avatar

@casheroo I’m 5’11.5” barefoot, and thank you. :) I wasn’t compliment fishing at all, and I think it’s weird that I have such a hangup about the number too. :)

@dalepetrie I was laughing to myself at my own hypocrisy of saying I don’t care, and freely telling people I know in real life, but not posting it here!

Aethelwine's avatar

I have no problem discussing my age or weight. No one believes me when I tell them I am 38, they think I am much younger. I love being carded for alcohol. Especially when the cashier is much younger than me.

When I became pregnant with my daughter six years ago I was in the best shape of my life. I’m 5’3” and I weighed 117 at the time. I’m now 20 lbs. over that weight, but that’s due to me not exercising as much as I used to. If I would just get off this damn computer! :)

I can’t recall the last time someone asked about my sexual history. It’s not a topic that comes up since I have been with the same man for 18 years. My husband knows, that’s all that matters.

ragingloli's avatar

the first two

hug_of_war's avatar

I’m a virgin, and I could really care less who knows.
I’m 20, so it’s not a big deal.

But my weight definitely. I’m extremely conscious about my body and I know I could stand to lose some pounds so I never volunteer that information.

Jayne's avatar

None of them bother me. ~150 lbs, 18 years, 0 people (one hand, going steady)
I’m a physics student. We need units

Supacase's avatar

Sexual history. I am not embarrassed or ashamed of my age and it’s pretty evident when someone looks at me that I need to lose 10 pounds or so.

I will say that I have gotten much more comfortable discussing my weight now that I am no longer obese. No WAY would I have told anyone how much I weighed when I was that big even though it was clearly evident that I was very overweight.

sanari's avatar

My age is completely off limits, my weight is next, and my partner has been only one, my husband.

cwilbur's avatar

I have no problem disclosing any of those bits of data to people who have a legitimate need to know.

dynamicduo's avatar

I wouldn’t talk about any of them in general company, they’re just not something anyone really needs to discuss with friends in my opinion. To people who have an actual need to know such as my doctor, I have no issue in telling any of those facts.

kerryyylynn's avatar

If anything, I wouldnt show off my weight, though its really not the worst. Im fifteen, Im a virgin, and Im not in the MOST TERRIBLE shape. Enough said.

Facade's avatar

I wouldn’t mind talking about any of those things. 20 years old. Probably 145 lbs. And my only sexual partner is right over there to the left doing what he does best lol

LexWordsmith's avatar

Age, because it’s just a number, and i’m a mathematician.

FutureMemory's avatar

age 35, sex partners 3, weight 270 (height 6’4”)

@dalepetrie I once weighed 440. I’m the laziest bastard on the planet so if I can do it I know you can.

dalepetrie's avatar

@FutureMemory – was there more to your success than “be more active and don’t eat so much?”

scamp's avatar

It depends on who is asking and why. It also depends on my mood when I am asked. I don’t have a problem with anyone who has decided not to answer this question with their stats. All 3 are pretty personal subjects to share with over 20K strangers.

Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

@scamp but why?
why is age something personal?
why do we care?

FutureMemory's avatar

@dalepetrie For me it required a change in mindset and a drastic rearranging of priorities. I had to make weight loss the #1 priority in my life. Nothing could stand in the way. As long as food/shelter was secure for myself and those I was responsible for, nothing was more important than adhering to my exercise schedule and my new eating habits. Spouse wants to go out to dinner Friday night? “Sorry honey I need to stay away from restaurants for the time being, I don’t know how many calories their food has and it’s too easy to over eat”. Kid has a baseball game Sunday afternoon? “Sweety I really wish I could go but I absolutely cannot skip my Sunday exercises. Why can’t I just do it tomorrow? Because I need to follow a strict schedule, I can’t get sloppy about it”. What do you do if it’s raining outside? You choose one of the many indoor workout options you’ve already planned as back up during poor weather. What if you simply can’t find the time? You make time. Skip that favorite TV show, the grocery shopping (get spouse to do it, you have talked to them repeatedly about supporting you as much as humanly possible, right?), skip whatever gets in your way. Treat exercise as something as vital as sleeping or eating. Can you imagine deciding to skip sleep? Not possible (no sarcastic comments about coffee or NoDoz, I’m trying to make a point here! haha). Plan ahead – always make sure you have clean workout clothes, your ipod fully charged, a few bottles of water in the fridge ready to go (your family does know not to touch those bottled waters, right?). Figure out activities you can do that are enjoyable and provide an aerobic workout. Design a progressive routine and stick to it. I lost 170 lbs just from walking! At first I couldn’t go more than 6–7 minutes, but I kept at it and added 2–3 minutes every 10 days. Within a few months I was up to 45 mins. The most important thing is to keep progressing, but at a slow even pace. It’s very easy to get ahead of yourself, where you’ll feel particularly good one day and decide to double your routine – with a very real chance of severe strain or even injury. I can’t count how many times I did this. Keep it slow and steady, no matter how energized you might begin to feel (and you will feel it, trust me). I’m rambling now So that’s my take on weight loss. You have to be completely focused, single-minded, absolutely relentless. Be selfish and self-centered. This is one instance where the Machiavellian approach isn’t just warranted, it’s necessary. Be prepared to make a hell of a lot of sacrifices. Anyone that cares for you will understand, but if they don’t, too bad. Don’t compromise. 100% commitment, 24/7. This very well could be the most important thing you could do to improve your life. Scratch that, it is the most important thing you can do to improve your life.

Boy, talk about a thread hi-jack. Anyone that wants to hear more of my ramblings leave me a comment on my profile, I’m always eager to tell people what to do errr, share what I’ve learned.

EmpressPixie's avatar

Weight probably. I was about the same weight with 5 pounds of variance during high school and all through college. Then I went on the shot and gained twenty pounds. Then I went off the shot because each shot came with an extra ten pounds and that just wasn’t quite worth it. I lost some of the weight again, but it’s hard. My entire life I had pretty much just maintained my weight.

Anyway: ~150, 23, 1.

janbb's avatar

Weight probably, although I certainly talk about my problems with weight enough. I would talk about the number of sexual partners with someone in context, but it rarely comes up at my age. (And since I am a woman, that is not meant as a pun. :-))

benjaminlevi's avatar

~160, 21, 0
I never lie about the number of sexual partners I’ve had, but I don’t bring it up in conversation unless asked as people make a huge deal out of it.

casheroo's avatar

I don’t understand all the ~‘s in front of peoples responses. Are you all lying about your weight?!

Facade's avatar

@casheroo I beliveve ”~” means “about”

casheroo's avatar

I thought it meant sarcasm. People are lying to me on Fluther.

EmpressPixie's avatar

@casheroo: Usually on Fluther it denotes sarcasm, however it is a real-world notation for an estimate. I forgot the dual meaning when I posted because it made sense at the time. Oops!

casheroo's avatar

@EmpressPixie Lol, I never knew it had an actual meaning, other than being a sqiggly line. blushes

dalepetrie's avatar

@FutureMemory – thanks for posting that. Curious once you got to your “ideal” weight (if you have done so), did you then level off or scale back, or how do you maintain…does it take every bit as much effort as the losing?

Aethelwine's avatar

@casheroo I was just as confused as you with ~.

Jack79's avatar

I don’t have a problem talking about any of the three, depending on the conversation topic. But I am obviously less likely to talk about the number of sexual partners I’ve had, since it’s a more specific piece of information that doesn’t seem to pop up as often. Plus I have to actually count and probably forget a couple, whereas I always know my weight and age without thinking much.

kenmc's avatar

I don’t give much of a rats ass. Weight would be the one I’m least likely to talk about because since around last september I’ve gotten a little out of shape from sitting at the computer (hmm… I wonder why…).

I’m ~187lb, 20y/o, and I’ve slept with 3 people. 2 of which were one night stands.

jeanna's avatar

@Likeradar My answer is the same as yours…weight is not something I share.

Of course, the only time I even know my weight is if I find out while at the doctor’s office, which usually doesn’t happen. I wouldn’t say I am ashamed of any of those things, but people are always shocked when I reveal any of those. (Apparently, I don’t look my age, weight and no one ever guess the number of sexual partners I’ve had.) Oh well.

shf84's avatar

I would probably not talk about it if I had slept with multiple women as it might bring into question the character of those women and who I choose to give my self to. It might also bring into question, weather I was in it because I liked the women or weather I was just using them as blow up dolls because I put my sexual cravings above morality because morals were not important to me.

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