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teachme's avatar

My daughter is 17 and got caught drinking. What can we expect?

Asked by teachme (10points) August 2nd, 2009

She was supposed to be at a movie and another friend’s house for her birthday. This is a first offense and she’s worried she won’t be able to get scholarships or go in to teaching now.

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16 Answers

PandoraBoxx's avatar

What happens on your juvenile record is expunged at turning 18, so it will not follow her into adulthood. I don’t think it will affect scholarships, unless the application specifically asks if you’ve been arrested. Most of the ones my daughter applied for did not ask this; they asked for community service, grades, and personal essays.

dpworkin's avatar

At 17 she is still a minor, and Juvenile records are not public information. On the slight chance she is convicted of something, she may apply to have the record expunged when she reaches majority, so I don’t think this incident will be consequential to her career.

I do hope you are taking advantage of a “teachable moment”, however, to impress upon her the absolute necessity of drinking responsibly, especially if she is soon to go off to college.

filmfann's avatar

@teachme Welcome to fluther. Lurve. Sorry it’s under these circumstances.
As long as she wasn’t driving, you should have too much to worry about.

mattbrowne's avatar

How much did she drink?

Flo_Nightengale's avatar

Why is it your problem? It is her’s. You did not force the drink nor give your blessing for her to drink (I hope). What happened to taking responsibility? Sorry for sounding harsh but the reality of it is if you keep “taking” care of you soon to be adult daughter you are not teaching her a thing. And yes I am mother of 2 girls. I was shocked the day one of them thanked me for being strict. Been there, done it, and sit here alive to tell the tale. Best of luck and thanks for seeking out help.

casheroo's avatar

She was caught by the police? I think the biggest punishment they give is restrictions on getting your license. They used to be very harsh in my state, and changed it because of how strict it was. But, it’s still strict. I’m sure you can find out her punishment if you ask a lawyer.

Zendo's avatar

There is no punishment for drinking at 17. At least no punishment that really hurts. And as for her teaching career, she is preparing for it by drinking. Almost all the teachers I have ever known drink like fish.

FrogOnFire's avatar

Probably won’t be a big deal the first time, but make sure you tell her that by drinking she may be putting her scholarship/teaching dreams in jeopardy. That should giver her incentive not to do it again—“The reason most people fail instead of succeed is because they trade what they want MOST for what they want at the MOMENT” -Unknown

As a 17-year old myself, I have several friends who have been caught drinking/using drugs and they’ve been kicked off teams/out of clubs, etc. They complain about how not being on [insert team/club name here] will affect their future and their life. I just tell them that no one made them drink; it was their own decision. Welcome to the adult world—being responsible for your actions.

ponderopus's avatar

as long as she avoids the activities that have high-risk of serious criminal charges, and stops worrying – period – about the future dooms she may encounter, she should be just fine. The greatest thing she has going, from my observations, is that she’s self-aware and self-reflective at an early age, and is aware of potential consequences of repeating that type of behavior. I certainly did a lot of similar things at that age and younger, and now I’m 28, have no record, make above six figures, and just bought a six-bedroom house, with little of that just handed to me. My parents have always been supportive, unconditionally loving, and respective of my decisions, even those they didn’t necessarily agree with. Also, they were always will to help me out in a bind, with limited “I told you sos.” My recommended recipe for good times.

kevbo's avatar

I was cited at 19 for posession of alcohol at a public park. I did a “walk in” trial. The judge dismissed the case, and I think it had a lot to do with me having a clean record and being a student at an elite college (the judge asked where I went to school). Have her dress nicely and ask the judge for whatever option that will keep the offense off her record. Usually, all they care about is the court fee, anyway.

Darwin's avatar

Since she is a minor and I assume she was not driving nor did anything else illegal, I would imagine the record would be sealed upon her 18th birthday. However, there would be a huge consequence if it were my daughter – she would have to work very hard to regain my trust.

She was supposed to be at a movie and then a birthday party, but instead went somewhere else and got caught drinking alcohol? Can she spell grounded for life?

buster's avatar

I got an illegal consumption of alcohol charge at 17. Juvenile court records are sealed so colleges can’t or anyone else but the police, guardian or the kid charged can ever see these juvenile charges. As for me I went to court, paid a fine, and had to go to a class called ” Reality.” For about 10 2 hour classes. I was for juveniles that had alcohol or drug charges. We had to take notes on drug use, problems with it, statistics of car crashes. We had to right a letter telling our parent we are dead and that we died from drugs or accidents from drugs. Then we went to the funeral home and picked out casket and planned your own funeral with the director there. It never has came up when Ive been approved for student loans or a scholarship. The apps never asked you to sign for permission for them to do a criminal background check. After the class if it was your first offense they expunged it from your record too.

PandoraBoxx's avatar

Who could have legal issues is if someone knowingly bought alcohol for minors.

mass_pike4's avatar

she’s very young. Use scare tactics, use examples from your own life of what you have witnessed. But all in all she is young and this is expected. You make mistakes and live and learn. She’ll be okay just tell her to learn from this experience. People are understanding. Nearly everyone has had close calls or have been unfortunate in getting caught. She does not need to worry about this ruining her future. Staying out of trouble and doing well in school, doing good things for other people will far outway this one bad experience and will define her true character. In a few years, this will pass and not be an issue. It just seems so bad at the time. Just tell her to keep her head up high and continue to do the right things

Tearofdeception's avatar

I wouldn’t make a big deal out of it… I mean at what age did YOU start drinking? If she starts going out and drinking every week and she’s under age, I would make sure to educate her of the outcome (money she could use for school, bad judgement calls after a couple of drinks) of drinking. And most of all, educating her about moderation is key in all this. I wouldn’t stress about it too much except if she was driving… Then it becomes a serious offense.

Good luck, welcome to fluther!

ItsAHabit's avatar

It’s easy to overreact. However, you might read “Underage Drinking: What NOT to Do”:

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