General Question

dee1313's avatar

I want to have a really different wedding, what should I do?

Asked by dee1313 (953points) August 22nd, 2009

My husband and I are already married (he’s a Marine and we just wanted to be together and have a big wedding later). We’re both gamers, we both enjoy rock music, and are a couple of geeks in general. We want to have a fun wedding, and I’d like to either put a spin on the traditional stuff (example below) or cut it out all together.

We’ll have both a ceremony and a reception in the same place (it looks kind of rustic… stone walls, beautiful wood floors and ceilings). We’re trying to have a good compromise between something we enjoy and something affordable. Like using my laptop instead of a DJ or something.

Let me know what you all think! I’m up for any suggestion no matter how weird/expensive/whatever it sounds. Anything to help me think outside the box.

Here’s what we have suggested so far:
– (example from above) I’m going to have my great aunt make a false cake, and have it look exactly like the cake from Portal. (The cake is a lie, remember?) That will be on the top tier, and everything below it will be cupcakes. We’re still deciding if we just want pretty, regular ones or if we’ll have white icing and use a black frosting/writing/gel/whatever thing to make the images from the game. Either way, I will be helping to make them. Fun on a budget!
– I was thinking of using Final Fantasy music during the ceremony (victory theme after the kiss!)
– Would it be okay to ask guests to just bring food? We’ve been married for 8 months, and pretty much have everything in the house we need. As much as we love presents, it would be a greater gift to not have to pay for a caterer.
– He suggested zombies. But I don’t really know where to go with that other than making our wedding parties dress up like them (bwahaha). We’ll only have two or three people each.
– I’m thinking that if I want to go the extra mile, I could put little party favors in a Weighted Companion Cube I can make from cardstock. What to put in it though?
– I suggested this in an email: “Dude, what if we stood on the stage and had an image projected at the bottom, and at the “I do” part have our ATB timer fill up (FF7 battle system), and give us the “I Do” option, that is selected for each of us. At the end, we could be put in the same party, and have our limit breaks! :D”

I know this is soooo long, but I mean, its me. I can’t be concise to save my life, and this is also brainstorming.

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35 Answers

Quagmire's avatar

Do you dare dance down the aisle in some way like that couple did in the recent viral video? Maybe AS zombies? To “Thriller”?

P.S. You want guests to bring food. What about the liquor?

P.S.P.S. With Halloween right around the corner, your zombie gear and costumes will be easier to find.

eponymoushipster's avatar

Have different Rock Band/Guitar Hero/Dance Dance Revolution games set up around the reception area.

Just have snack foods, which people bring (a la pot luck).

dee1313's avatar

@Quagmire Omg, Josh would love that!

I suck at dancing though, but dancing as a zombie couldn’t be too hard. I was kind of weird about the zombie idea… I like it, but I don’t want to be one myself (or have a way that I can easily be un-zombiefied) because I’d feel kind of gross.

@eponymoushipster Oooh that’s a good idea! We have a friend that has the whole set up for Rock Band.

Quagmire's avatar

Will your GUESTS understand the meaning of all your game-related ideas?

adaismeus's avatar

I would be great to have everyone bring a dish that is their favorite! that is an awesome idea and a great way to save money, another thing you can do is buy disposible camera’s and give them out to the guest you choose or all if you want depending on amt of ppl you have and hav ethem take your wedding photos, i know several people that have done this and the candid pics are the absolute best.. The cake is a great idea you could have the cupcakes decorate them accordingly and then make a cover and decorate it to look like a cake to cover the cupcakes totally false cake with real cupcakes inside.
I would think of one of your favorite female characters and take somoething from her appearance, maybe a masquerade type face makeup, ive done this for parties and it looks awesome. There are so many ideas. I would pick a theme from one of the games for the groomsmen,
What are your ideas on your dress?

Judi's avatar

You could dress like Laura Croft and swing in on a vine.

adaismeus's avatar

i love your idea on the i do part!

Quagmire's avatar

I can’t see how you would NOT have guns going down the aisle.

bhec10's avatar

My parents were the first couple in my country to marry under water. You could try that..

kibaxcheza's avatar

say i do then jump out of an airplane and parachute to the reception

dee1313's avatar

@Quagmire Most of them, but not all of them. We could put little cards in the card/photo holder thingys with Did you know information on them. I could do something like that on the tables to help family members who are so into video games and also have other interesting information about both Josh and I (I’ll probably have the tables already set up and chairs for a smooth transition from ceremony to reception. there isn’t enough chairs to set up in one room for the ceremony and the other for the reception, though there is plenty of room).

@adaismeus I know for the guest book, I was wanting to get an old Polaroid camera and put them in a scrap book, or maybe just use a digital camera and do it later.

I have a friend and a family member who has professional cameras, so I could ask them to bring them. I know plenty of people have their own digital cameras, and if I brought my laptop I could quickly retrieve the pictures from their cameras before everyone leaves. Unless that would be weird?

The closest I came to thinking about mixing a female character was putting little balls in my hair or something that look like the ones GLaDOS drops in Portal.

As for dress, I don’t know. I was going to get a white / red thing, but that’s a real wedding dress. I want something that doesn’t scream wedding because that’s a waste of money, and if I got something that fit the wedding I could wear it to one of the Marine Corps Balls too. I also want it to be fun, so I don’t know if I want to just get a regular dress.

As for what we’d wear, we were thinking something that feels like a video game, but I’d rather not dress up as someone, because its still our wedding (and with my luck we’d end up with someone from Gears of War and Chell from Portal :P). We’d think it’d be cool to dress as something that feels like its from a video game. The best thing in that way that I could think of was our favorite characters from our Oblivion save files. I’m not sure if that’s quite work for me though, because my chick wields a huge two-handed sword. I know we could make the swords… my dad is a welder and has tools for if we’d rather them be made from wood.

I do think some kind of dress with the GLaDOS cores would be cute and simple. I’ll probably have a custom made dress from someone on Etsy.

We had thought about having our wedding party dress up as FF characters from our favorite FF (his is 4, mine is 7). I think it’d be expensive to make it look good though.

I can’t think of how to make this shorter. Sorry!

dee1313's avatar

@Quagmire Yeah, I have no idea what to do for the liquor. Everyone will want to drink, but if we bring alcohol, we have to hire a security guy. I can’t imagine that’s too expensive, though, but I don’t want to bring someone else in to run an open bar because I think that might get to be expensive.

@adaismeus Thanks!

@bvdshec17 @adaismeus I’d like to stay on land, lol.

Quagmire's avatar

Go with DIGITAL pics. You won’t be sorry. Then you can email them to all attendees, etc. You can even send them to news media.

Why does alcohol = security guard???

dee1313's avatar

@Quagmire Its the place we’re renting. Its a old, beautiful building in the middle of a county park. Now that I think about it, I’ll have to figure something out for designated drivers, because its about an hour away. They also don’t want open flames. Its beautiful, and $400 – $600 for the entire day, with the tables and chairs for up to 150 people included. A park ranger will be there at all times. It costs $25 per hour for the security guard starting from when alcohol is served. The inside looks like this. You can browse through and see the outside and what not.

I found this in an old email:
We could do warm colors for one half of the tables, and cool colors for the other half and somehow make it clear that its a reflection of Shivering Isles (from the Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion game).

dee1313's avatar

OMG I could get my uncle (who married us) to dress up like Sheogorath (from Oblivion)!

Quagmire's avatar

@dee1313, oh that is PERFECT for what you want to do.

PerryDolia's avatar

Here is what we did for the most fun party I ever attended:
Everyone had to come in costume. We sent invitations to everyone WITHOUT the address of the party. In the invitation was a little code sheet. We told them where to find the first coded message (pasted inside the back cover of a phone book in a phone booth). One coded clue led to the next (on the back of a card on the bulletin board of a laundromat, pasted to a gas pump in a out-of-business gas station). Along the way they had to pick up little trinkets that were used in random drawings during the party. Finally, the last clue told where the party was located. By the time the people got to the party, there was lots of energy and fun to talk about. You could use some of that and get the people to dress as their favorite character in a video game, etc.

PandoraBoxx's avatar

This sounds like a great party, but not a wedding. There’s nothing wrong with foregoing the notion of a wedding and just holding a party to celebrate that you’re married. Potluck, BYOB, costumes…sounds like an awesome Halloween bash!

Likeradar's avatar

Hurm… I’m a little put off by your asking guests to bring food to a wedding. Maybe this is an acceptable practice that I’ve never heard of? I agree with @PandoraBoxx‘s that this sounds like a fun party to celebrate your union. But a wedding? For people who have been married for 8 months? I don’t get it.

hug_of_war's avatar

Personally, I’d be kinda miffed about having to bring my own food to a wedding, no matter how non-traditional. Half the reason I even drag myself to weddings is to eat free food.

Quagmire's avatar

But she’ll let them know NOT to bring gifts, just food. The guests will save money in the long run.

Likeradar's avatar

Also, about your idea of getting pictures off your guests’ digital cameras before they leave- You’ll probably be so busy socializing and having fun, do you really want to also put yourself in charge of this? It would require being tied to your computer when guests want to leave, and I can imagine there would be somewhat of a line at the end of the party. Maybe you could consider asking one or two close friends to be in charge of taking and sending you photos?

I don’t mean to sound negative about your ideas- I think a lot of them are really creative and fun sounding, and it sounds like an awesome party for gamer types.

@Quagmire Yeah, I get that…l but it just seems wrong to me. I’m trying to figure out exactly why it seems wrong. I guess I’m viewing it as asking the guests to save you a lot of money at your party.

eponymoushipster's avatar

an alternative to getting everyone to download their pictures is to put toss away cameras on each table, and ask your guests to use them, and then leave them. there are even throw away digital cameras, so you won’t have the expense of developing, if you so choose.

downloading from each camera would be too time consuming, as @Likeradar said.

Quagmire's avatar

I don’t think you have to have your guests download right then and there? Can’t they email them to you or even post them directly to your Flickr account? Relatives and close friends could even give you their memory card (which you’d have to return).

PandoraBoxx's avatar

Entertaining by potluck is an informal means of entertaining, usually for get-togethers, such as picnics, church gatherings, club events, calling everyone by phone to come over and watch a sporting event on TV, etc..

If you are celebrating something, you foot the bill to entertain your guests. You do it the best you can within the budget you set. Spending money of favors, decorations, etc. for a big celebratory bash, and then asking people to bring their own food and drink is not good hosting. What’s next? Asking them to bring their own chairs, plates and silverware?

Judi's avatar

You can do a taco/ and / or burrito bar fairly inexpensively.

YARNLADY's avatar

When I was married to my first husband, his Mother graciously agreed (insisted) on providing the food at our reception. When you are already married, the celebration afterwards is usually called a reception, not a wedding.

dee1313's avatar

I’m kind of hesitant on getting disposable cameras. It does seem like a good idea, but I don’t want to add any more expenses that we don’t need. My husband and I already have to pay for airline tickets to go back home for it, and then with the cost of the place we’re looking at $800—$1000 already. Which, although may sound cheap for a wedding (and that doesn’t include the little purchases), is still a lot of money.

I know my uncle wouldn’t mind taking pictures, but he’s also the guy that is marrying us, and I don’t know if he’d let someone else use his camera. I have a few other friends with a digital camera, and my dad just got a nice one, so out of the 3 people guaranteed to take pictures, plus the many other friends who might take pictures, I think it’ll be okay. I still don’t have pictures of the impromptu wedding, and making sure I have pictures is the concern.

@PandoraBoxx Well, the chairs and tables come with the place, and I’m pretty sure I can handle some clear plastic plates, utensils and even some napkins.

I’ve always felt a wedding should be more about the people getting married than the guests. I’m a very practical person, and neither of us really care about formalities. If it bothers a few guests, then whatever, though I doubt it would. Its our wedding. We aren’t expecting gifts from anyone, and its not like we’re going to say anything about not letting them come unless they bring food. I will probably end up helping my mom and Josh his mom to make a bit of food, probably a main course thing and ask guests to bring side dishes.

I’m kind of against impersonal traditions anyway. The white dress, in a church, traditional sort of wedding is the type of thing I’m referring to. Not the tradition of going to Grandma’s house for Christmas every year.

dee1313's avatar

@YARNLADY What we’re doing is actually pretty common. Having a courthouse or dinky wedding, and then planning a big one for a bit after you’re married. A relative of mine did this, a friend of mine is still in the planning the big one stage, and my neighbors have their big ceremony planned for January. I think it tends to be more common among military couples, because its hard to plan one when you’re not together, and oftentimes the money just isn’t there to do it. I felt it was more important to finally be with my husband than to wait to plan a ceremony to invite everyone to.

Its called a ‘renewal of vows’ or something similar, but its basically a wedding. That’s how I’m planning it, anyways, because our families didn’t get to come the impromptu one because… well, I called up my uncle and the next day we did it, right after I got off work (I was even late because I got off late). We’d been apart for an entire year, and I drove Josh to the airport to go back to the base the next day. No one knew we did it until I changed my name on Facebook (which is something I also think is silly, but again, I’m practical, and I didn’t want to carry a marriage certificate everywhere to show evidence of being his wife).

@Judi That’s a good idea. The place is kind of far away from where our guests will be coming from, so I want something that is filling. The place has a huge, complete kitchen, so our parents can come with us early and help set up and cook the main course stuff.

YARNLADY's avatar

OK, if you say so. I’m probably just being old fashioned. If you are taking vows and such, then yes, that probably is an official wedding. Using that as a guide, Hubby and have been married three times.

Our first wedding, 35 years ago, was just the two of us and the trees, flowers and deer, agreeing that we were married. Our second one, 30 years ago was a party and included a marriage license, a state-approved officiator, witnesses and friends. The third one was 15 years ago, a huge (commercially organized) group “vow renewal” with about 50 other couples, followed by a catered meal.

bennihan's avatar

Well as far as weddings go I’m positive that almost everything has been done before. For something really unique maybe get married in the middle of a UFC fight that would be intense. Get Bruce Buffer to do the announcing

cwilbur's avatar

The bigger a Production you try to make your wedding, the more room there is for misery, grief, and Bridezilla behavior. Keep it as simple as you can, and focus on making a pleasant environment for your guests to mingle and celebrate instead of making a Spectacle.

dee1313's avatar

@cwilbur It certainly won’t be a big production or anything. I’m a realistic person, and hate to be the center of attention. I want to wedding to be more of an expression of us. Josh is pretty laid back, he doesn’t seem to care too much so long as it isn’t expensive and its fun.

I’m brainstorming here, so that’s why we’ve got so much that seems far out. I think having people dress up would be cool, but I know it would be expensive and wouldn’t work out too well (we’re planning on cosplaying here in a couple years, and have already looked into prices for costumes to be Zack & Aerith from FF7. Not cheap!). My best friend and my sister already have dresses anyways. Josh’s side will probably just be in a nice shirt and black slacks. I don’t know what he’ll wear. The cheapest thing (well, its not cheap, but its already purchased anyway) will be his USMC dress blues.

I do want to change up the ceremony. We’re atheists, so there won’t be any mention of God in it, and I don’t want it to be obnoxiously long. I am seriously thinking about decorating one side in cool colors (purple, blue, green) with the appropriate twisted trees and plants, and the other side in warm colors (red, orange, yellows) with the appropriate beautiful blooming trees and plants to match the theme from the Shivering Isles expansion for Oblivion. I’d also like to make the ceremony something like what might happen in the realm of madness.

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dee1313's avatar

@Sandra24 I’m not looking to hire anyone, just brainstorming!

By the way, you might want to read the guidelines for posting. Self-promotion isn’t encouraged. Welcome to Fluther!

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