Social Question

Val123's avatar

Can someone 'splain to me why every damn thing a woman does, no matter how innocent, seems to get sexualized by men?

Asked by Val123 (12694points) October 28th, 2009

Come on! We’re not playing volley ball or shooting pool or scrubbing the floor on our hands and knees or bending over to get the baby out of the car or washing dishes or mowing the yard or putting the groceries away to turn you on!

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73 Answers

ItalianPrincess1217's avatar

We can thank movies and the media for that.

poofandmook's avatar

Maybe not, but I like the idea of being desireable to someone even doing menial tasks, while wearing sweats, no makeup, and my hair all over the place.

jeffgoldblumsprivatefacilities's avatar

Because we’re stupid and horny.

gussnarp's avatar

Biology. I’m sure there are actual studies that both agree and disagree with me, but I’m convinced that in general women are not as sexually driven as men because men have a basic biological imperative to plant their seed in as many places as possible as often as possible, while women have a biological imperative to only allow the best candidate to implant his seed and take up 9 months plus of their fertility. Females are the control factor in natural selection.

Jude's avatar

<<throws up hands>> Amen, and Hallelujah!

Yes, why?

tinyfaery's avatar

Testosterone

jaketheripper's avatar

I think it’s sooo hot when women get all riled up about us watching them being all sexy

SpatzieLover's avatar

@Val123 It’s because men are visually stimulated. If they were all blind then maybe they’d be more like us.

which reminds me of one of those ridiculously old “Catholic” sayings about masturbation leading to blindness

cyndyh's avatar

Did you go walking down the street with a popsicle, again? :^>

They just like our curves. It doesn’t matter what we’re doing.

Facade's avatar

sexual hormones I think

Dominic's avatar

“Men,” or “a man?” The former is a question about the male brain (see @jeffgoldblumsprivatefacilities‘s answer), while the latter is a question about the lowest common denominator in large crowds. It’s pretty low.

gemiwing's avatar

I think it’s a numbers game. Not all men find everything sexually arousing. Some men might like the sexiness of being taken care of (cooking, cleaning etc). Some men find a ‘fun’ partner sexy (jogging, yoga, giggling). Some men find youth sexy. Some men find innocence sexy.

I think that taking all the men in the world and lumping them together is a bit unfair. If you survey fifty million men you’re going to find a lot of areas that are considered sexy. Yet it’s an error in logic to assume that all men find ALL of those things a turn on.

Same with women. Some women like domination (so they can stop worrying about every darn thing on their to-do lists). Some like men who are intelligent (so they don’t have to dumb themselves down). Some like men who are big hairy and gullable. Doesn’t mean that all women want these things.

Same goes for same-sex couples, just change the pronoun.

Val123's avatar

@ItalianPrincess1217 That’s part of it, for sure. Like women’s pro beach volleyball. I think they’re required to wear bikinis when they play, and that’s stupid. I was in a discussion about women’s pro beach volleyball in another site, and instantly the guy starts posting pictures of the women’s butts as they’re serving, and boobs and shit.
@jaketheripper Um, a lot of women DON’T get riled up over the idea that you think they’re sexy, ESPECIALLY when they aren’t doing a thing to BE sexy. Like washing dishes. Men can be very annoying and stupid, thinking they’re being sexy and the women like it.
@SpatzieLover Well, I’m only to the point where I have to wear glasses, and that’s OK! And it’s not that I expect them to be blind. I mean, if a woman is trying to be sexy that’s one thing. But if she isn’t, yet she’s treated as tho she IS, that’s annoying. Like shooting pool. If you get a woman shooting pool, and she’s wearing skin tight jeans and can’t shoot worth a damn, then you know she’s just up there to be sticking her butt out at the guys. But there are others, like me, who are seriously shooting pool because we like it and we’re good at it. The bending over is just how you play the game, and it has NOTHING to do with trying to be sexy.
@gemiwing I know it wasn’t fair. You’re right. But it’s the men who do that who make the biggest fool out of themselves. Just like the people who scream the loudest seem to be in the majority, even if they aren’t. It’s hard to even notice the respectful, intelligent ones

gemiwing's avatar

@Val123 I am known for telling men where to go when they come up to me during a pool game and ask me if I need ‘help’. I actually told one ‘suave’ popped collar guy No, I don’t but it looks like that guy (pointed to a huge beefy tattooed friend of mine) would love it if you walked up behind him and gave him some pointers. He left me alone after that. hmmm wonder why.

CMaz's avatar

Because everything has to do with mating.

AstroChuck's avatar

Because men are pigs. I should know as I am one myself. It’s just hardwired into our brains. Everything is about sex. It’s nothing we can help. If you want to blame someone then blame Darwin or God.

wundayatta's avatar

What is this really about? How does this hurt you? Do you just not want to be thought of sexually? Or do the guys in your life take it further, and harass you when you’re trying to get something done? What’s the problem if men think about sex every friggin moment of the day? We still get our shit done (except when we don’t).

I don’t know what “sexualized” means to you. I will certainly grant you that a lot of guys will just think about women as sex objects. But when we are physically attracted, well, it’s powerful. Some guys just turn into leering idiots, sure. But not every single one. Just because we aren’t saying anything doesn’t mean we are not thinking it.

So far in my life, I’ve been keeping my thoughts to myself. But if you want me to tell you what I’m really thinking, I’ll give you an earful!

poofandmook's avatar

I’m sort of on Daloon’s page here. I like the thought that I could be bent over scrubbing the goddamn toilet and my boyfriend will look at me and think, “damn, I want her.”

Are we talking random men? Or the men we’re with? Random men… I wouldn’t give a crap what they thought (not that 99% of them would think I was sexy bent over, but that’s another story) as long as they weren’t catcalling, staring, drooling, groping, or pinching. My man? I want him to look at me that way forever.

Val123's avatar

@gemiwing I had a guy standing behind me once, really close, pantomiming you-know-what. Wouldn’t you know that the shot I had to take at that moment required me to hit the ball HARD (like a major rookie!), which meant yanking the stick back HARD and FAST and STRAIGHT BACK and “Oh my! I am sooo sorry!” As he was doubled over clutching his nether regions. The fact that he didn’t realize I’d done it “accidentally on purpose” shows how much he knew about pool. You never “need” to hit the cue ball hard!”
@AstroChuck Well, I know that. I guess my complaint is really that some men can be so crass and rude about it. Why can’t they just admire quietly, unless they’re sure she’s doing something for sexual attention.
@daloon See response above. It doesn’t “hurt” me, but it embarrasses and demeans me at times. I don’t mind being thought of sexually at all, but I am not a big flirt and I don’t go out of my way to be sexy, and I don’t appreciate strange men pinching my butt as I’m dancing with another man or just walking through the damn door.

gemiwing's avatar

@Val123 heeheeehee that’s gonna make me chuckle all afternoon

Zaku's avatar

If a sexy woman does something it is sexy, because she is there being sexy doing it, and she’s sexy. Sexy woman is sexy to see, no matter what she’s doing. Still photograph of sexy woman is sexy. Moving picture more sexy because sexy woman actually moving. Actual sexy woman doing something even more sexy because sexy woman actually present. Etc. ;-)

RedPowerLady's avatar

Why can’t a woman say she doesn’t want to be thought of sexually? Perhaps she wants to be thought of as an awesome house-cleaner while she’s doing the dishes, a fantastic sports player when she is playing volleyball, an amazing intellect when shes reading a book. It seems to me as if some people are saying the request to not think of women as a sexual object all the time is somehow “bad” or against human nature. I beg to differ. Sure it is great to be sexually attractive while washing the dishes but I’d prefer to be a woman, wife, and mother first. If sexual attraction comes in the mix then great but I certainly see @Val123 ‘s point.

Val123's avatar

@gemiwing It was great…although I was a bit concerned that he’d recover and hit me. But some other guys stepped in, so it was good and he went away. The next best thing would be to get them to challenge you to game and just clean the table with them!

Val123's avatar

@RedPowerLady Sometimes it’s so annoying. Like….a guy can shoot pool because he’s good, but a woman is doing it just to be sexy, even though she may have held the table all freakin’ night! It’s like they’re saying, “Sexy is all there is to you.”

RedPowerLady's avatar

@Val123 I get it what you are trying to say, believe me I do :)

gemiwing's avatar

So really what we’re talking about is the over-sexualization of women and how that breeds the attitude of ‘Every Woman Is Sexually Available At Any Time No Matter What She Wants’?

Val123's avatar

@gemiwing especially when they’re playing pool, you know! And yes, that’s pretty much what it’s about. Like, all women are fair game in the grabbing contest because they LIKE it even if they deny it.

SpatzieLover's avatar

@Val123 Sounds like you need to visit a new pool hall…that shit isn’t allowed at ours ;)

Val123's avatar

@SpatzieLover Ah, it was at the bars, which explains a lot of it! I wouldn’t even go to a bar unless it had a pool and foosball table. Forget dancing. I wasn’t there to flirt. I was there to kick some booty!!

SpatzieLover's avatar

@Val123 If you want to play pool and not have suggestive dialogue or rogue mannered men…hit a pool hall.

RedPowerLady's avatar

At our local University there is a pool “hall”. The students are usually quite self-involved and ignore everyone that isn’t at their table. So that is always a fun place to play pool.

Val123's avatar

@SpatzieLover I understand what you’re saying, but I was just using shooting pool as an example. Stuff like that happened everywhere, all the time. Be walking along in the freakin’ mall and some total stranger would think he had the right to pinch my butt! Or just be walking along the street and get cat called and whistled at and have obscenities yelled at me. It was annoying! In my other example, women’s pro-beach volley ball…they have them dressed very sexily in bikins. WHAT does the sexuality of the women have to do with playing volleyball? Why aren’t the men required to wear sports gear that serves to emphasize their attributes?

Sarcasm's avatar

We had a meeting one day. We all came to an agreement that it’s what we thought you wanted.
Some guy from Illinois was arguing that women are constantly asking from attention, and so a Texan was like, “Well, why don’t we just.. give them attention? You know, with everything they do?” and we mostly agreed. Some Chinese guys and a Swedish dude weren’t down with that, maybe an Aussie too. But generally it seemed correct.

Sorry. I’ll bring this up next Man Meeting (Manting), let them know you don’t like it.
Egg will be all over our collective faces. Quite embarrassing.

Val123's avatar

@Sarcasm ROFL!!!!! Best answer so far!!

Darwin's avatar

Around our house when that happens we say that someone is suffering from testosterone poisoning or that he isn’t busy enough. Then we hand them a mop and suggest they work off some energy that way.

Val123's avatar

@Darwin Right on! And see if he likes you coming up behind him while he’s mopping and unexpectedly grabbing him in different parts of the body!

Darwin's avatar

@Val123 – Actually, I suspect he would take that as an invitation to stop mopping immediately.

Val123's avatar

@Darwin You might be surprised! If it was unexpected and not real comfortable!

poofandmook's avatar

I have never known a man to feel uncomfortable with a hand on his hoo-has.

Val123's avatar

@poofandmook Oh, so you’re assuming that if you sneak up behind him and grab his testicles by surprise, that he’d LIKE it? I mean, if you did it all suggestively and all yes, I’m sure he would, butt to just flat out grab him, and giggle like you’re trying to be sexy…bet he don’t!

Sarcasm's avatar

Men don’t have hoo-has. That’s a woman part! I’d agree with @Darwin though. If my imaginary SO were to start touching me in an “inappropriate” manner while I was mopping, I’d drop the mop and start doing something else.

jeffgoldblumsprivatefacilities's avatar

@Sarcasm But then you would have to mop all over again!

Val123's avatar

@jeffgoldblumsprivatefacilities AND have even more of a mess to clean up!

hungryhungryhortence's avatar

I thought the sight of bent over buttocks signalled something in the primitive brain that meant sex.

cyndyh's avatar

@jeffgoldblumsprivatefacilities : And a lot of men would get really really good at mopping. :^>

poofandmook's avatar

@Sarcasm: I would like to see the scientific text that lists a “hoo-ha” as strictly female anatomy. (and that’s also why I made it plural. lol)

jeffgoldblumsprivatefacilities's avatar

@cyndyh You can see your reflection in my floors.

Val123's avatar

@hungryhungryhortence I think so too.
@cyndyh Not after Sarcasm got done with ‘em!

cyndyh's avatar

So, women have to grab ahold of you to keep from slipping on the floor when they bend over to see their reflection? That must be it, right?

cyndyh's avatar

I just love the idea that “Jeffgoldblumsprivatefacilities has really clean floors”.

Darwin's avatar

I thought guys with mirror-bright floors just liked to look up skirts without craning their necks.

cyndyh's avatar

I thought that was what the shined shoes were for.

Val123's avatar

@Darwin and @all SEE!! SEE!! That’s what I’m talking about! Somehow mopping floors got turned into having sex!!! (I’m just kiddin’!) ROFL!!

cyndyh's avatar

@Val123 : But I think it was us women who did that. See?

Val123's avatar

@cyndyh Yeah butt, you know every man LIKES it, so it’s OK if we do it!

Sarcasm's avatar

@Val123 THAT IS SEXIST!
but that’s okay cause it’s right.

cyndyh's avatar

@Val123 : I only claim to know what my man likes. And, sexually speaking, I don’t care about the rest.

“Butt” is what sticks out when you’re shooting pool. “But” is a conjunction. Cheers! :^>

SpatzieLover's avatar

@cyndyh BUTT…that’s all I noticed from @Val123‘s response, too!!! Teehehhehehe!

@Val123 Do you feel violated by my staring at your BUTT? ;P

AstroChuck's avatar

Btw, that Ricky Ricardo way that you wrote ‘splain iin your question is kinda sexy and is really turning me on.

Val123's avatar

@cyndyh @SpatzieLover Butt it was a play on words appropriate to the discussion! See.
@AstroChuck ROFL! Wanna shoot some pool?? I’ll just act all sexy and helpless and say, “Please ‘splain to me how to hit that little white ball,” and pretend like I can’t play for a couple of games. Then I’ll take all of your money AND your car! (Muwhaaaaa!) (BTW, it works like a charm!)

trailsillustrated's avatar

it took me reading all the way to here to realise that your’e talking about this attention from strangers. I thought it was about your man.

Val123's avatar

@trailsillustrated Well, sometimes that too, but mostly from strangers. My ex used to sexualize the evening news at 10:30 pm. Every night after, the last news report, it turned into “Ya wanna fool around?” wink wink. Um. No.

SpatzieLover's avatar

@Val123 Well, that’s reason enough for a divorce….Gah! Lameness!

Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

because in our sexist world, men are taught they’re entitled to constant and incessant visual gratification…many men do not do this…i don’t care how hardwired it is in their brains…

wundayatta's avatar

Maybe men all do think about sex, but they don’t all pinch your butt or whatever. You can’t know what any guy is thinking. I guess you can infer something by what he looks at or how he looks at it.

Some guys are pretty respectful. But if you put a few beers in a guy, his inhibitions are’t so strong. What he’s thinking when he pinches your butt, I don’t know. I think he gives himself permission to invade your space. He knows you’re not going home with him, but he might still annoy you, even though you’re turning him down. Maybe you’ll lose your cool, and lose a game.

It’s not so much sexualization as harassment. What can I say? Some guys are jerks.

ratboy's avatar

What the hell do you expect when you flaunt yourselves by doing things. We know you’re naked just under your clothes.

wundayatta's avatar

You should talk, @ratboy! Or do you have a wetsuit under your clothes? ;)

Val123's avatar

@ratboy OH! I see. That’s what we get for being alive! I got it!

Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

@ratboy I don’t flaunt. still get harassed on the street. actually the more ‘casual’ and ‘loose clothing’ the worse it is

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