General Question

nocountry2's avatar

And furthermore....Men, what are 5 things you wish women knew?

Asked by nocountry2 (3689points) April 10th, 2008
Observing members: 0 Composing members: 0

37 Answers

klaas4's avatar

Sorry, only one:
That not all men/boys are jerks.

gooch's avatar

Men respect women who respect themselves.

BirdlegLeft's avatar

It’s Spring, my mind is in the gutter, I will pass on an answer.

CameraObscura's avatar

I know you get stared at and hit on every 15 minutes. I know. But just because I say hello on the elevator, don’t assume I’m trying to get in your pants.

That thing you’re upset about? No, I really don’t understand. Logic takes priority in my mind just like emotions do in yours. I want to understand, believe me, but it just doesn’t make sense.

That constant need for attention is only cute until you’re our girlfriend.

I like that you don’t know how to change a flat tire or fix a leaky faucet.

Wanna know why I only have 4 or 5 shirts I wear all the time? Two reasons. 1-I’m always buying everything else and 2— To be a man and be in style costs easily three times as much as it costs you.

mcbealer's avatar

@ CameraObscura ~ I’m a woman and I can fix both the leaky faucet as well as change the flat :0)

Zaku's avatar

Wow, I knew I was ignorant and didn’t care about staying in style, but I didn’t realize (and still don’t believe) that straight men would ever outspend a woman on clothes.

Bri_L's avatar

1. I am afraid I can’t understand how your crying at a movie or a heart wrenching story doesn’t mean I didn’t do something wrong.

2. You don’t have to be porn stars, just, for gosh sakes, be open and honest and discuss sex. Before its to late to do anything about it.

3. We put a lot of pressure on our selves, right or wrong, to live up to certain societal expectations, providing for the family. Try to just understand that . (As long as its not waved in your face)

4. We know we are not funny all of the time, but do you have to remind us we are not funny, all the time.

5. In the end we want to have a partner in life we can grow old with to. At least i do.

nikipedia's avatar

@CameraObscura: I think you’re hanging out with the wrong women.

Mtl_zack's avatar

1. not every man is trying to get in your pants, so stop being creeped out by those who dont.

2. we dont mind if you watch the game with us, just dont yak on and on about something else while we’re concentrating.

3. please dont ask us if those pants make you look fat. we really dont know how to answer that.

4. if we meet up with a friend who happens to be a girl and we look like we’re flirting, we’re not. dont worry about it, we remember that we’re for each other.

5. shrinkage

stevenb's avatar

funny how more guys answered this than the women on my question to them. Hmmmm. I second most of the above answers too.

stevenb's avatar

Why don’t they realize that sometimes when they look so good, it is very hard for us to think straight, let alone talk!

peedub's avatar

We like to be invited to your all-girl slumber parties too!
Please don’t exclude us, it hurts our feelings.

Emilyy's avatar

@CameraObscura: You had me about to click “Great Answer” right up until that last part about style costing you three times more than it costs us. I understand that Italian shoes and suits can be extremely pricy, but having more than four shirts is not. Being in extreme style is expensive for anyone, but there are ways to look good without spending a fortune.

But I’m a lady so I’ll shut up now since this question’s not for me!

pattyb's avatar

They under estimate the male sex drive and how it is a force of nature, not a personality trait or fault.
In the animal kingdom it is the relentless pursuit to continue the bloodline. I’m not sure what it is with humans, but many women say “men are animals”, there might be some truth to that, at least when it comes to a mans sex drive.

smart1979's avatar

EmilyNathon, it’s true. Men’s clothes are more, if you want to look good especially when it comes to professional clothes.

ninjaxmarc's avatar

1. Some of us do try to understand women and not just judge.
2. We have feelings too, we try to act macho but its a front to be strong and a rock but sometimes you hurt us too.
3. We want you to be happy and provide for you but money don’t grow on trees please compromise.
4. Constant nagging does frustrate us if its about the same thing over and over please say it once and be done with it
5. Don’t close yourself off we aren’t all mind readers

stevenb's avatar

1. Sometimes we don’t understand what we may have said that made you angry. Please don’t say “you know what you said.” Just tell us so we don’t hurt you again.
2. Sometimes when you get all dolled up, you really do take our breath away and make it hard to speak.
3. Sometimes when you are just hanging around the house is sweats and a pony, you STILL take our breath away.
4. If we tell you we think you are beautiful, please don’t say “oh please, in this, I look awefull!” You can be beautiful and still be covered in dirt. It is more the way you are than the way you may “look” sometimes.
5. Sometimes we watch you sleep and wonder at how sweet, innocent and wonderful you are, and can’t believe how lucky we are to have you in our lives loving us.
5 1/2. We would do just about anything just to see your sweet smile.

sinscriven's avatar

1. Be direct. Beating around the bush is unnecessary and frustrating. Communicate your needs plainly, and don’t resort to ‘subtlety’ to get what you need/want to say. I make a conscious effort to ignore those kind of tactics on principle.

2. Do not be afraid to approach first, and don’t expect men to approach you every single time. The “fear” that’s bred into women in the past few years and the rise of being oh so walking on eggshells has made it pretty hard to initiate first contact without a female getting jumpy, screaming “RAPEEEE!”, or just being outright cynical (i.e, oh you’re just trying to get into my pants.) If you like a guy, make the move. Don’t play that teenage game of “I like him soooo much but he’s not talking to me WHAT DO I DO?”

3. Be Understanding. Men are complex creatures, probably much more so than the female mind because we’re socially ingrained with the idea that we are to not communicate any sort of emotion that may be shown as weak. So it takes serious work to get down to it. In the course of this, we may make some really stupid mistakes, but our heart is in the right place. Try to be understanding and compassionate about the matter, and offer an ear if we really look like we need it. Do NOT try to pry into our private emotions if it doesn’t look like we’re ready to open up.

4. If you are an ardent feminist, expect to be treated like one. You will not get the over the top romance, the doors held open for an eternity, or any other chivalrous thing that’s expected of “gentlemen to a woman”. Considering that the whole idea of putting a woman on a pedastal is exactly counter to the idea of Equality, you should never expect it. This is not necessarily a warning, I am all for the idea of equality, and good friends of mine of either sex get treated the exact same way. But be a total jerk, and you’ll be put in your place. And if you throw a punch expect to be judo tossed to the ground.

5. Take compliments, don’t fish for them. (e.g, “you’re beautiful”—no i’m not—“yes you are’, ad nauseum) Also guys like compliments too. And like you, we’d like to have them genuine to mean something more than lip service. Also, I don’t think anyone male or female likes a silent lay. Communication is key, encouragement is gold.

6. Had to put one more. Cheating. Don’t blame yourself for it, because most times it has nothing to do with you. Sometimes a man’s reason for cheating have nothing to do with the current relationship. It does not mean you are a bad person, an incapable lover in bed, or lacking in some way. The idea of monogomy is not somethig that is naturally inclined in the male brain for biological reasons, so commitment to one person physically can possibily be difficult, as the need to “spread” is built in. So for some cases, the real reason why you got cheated on is because you’re just not mulitple women with multiple bits, you’re just one. This isn’t an excuse for cheating, but something of a small insight to shed some light and hopefully prevent otherwise wondeful girls from feeling like they are worthless because they got cheated on.

nocountry2's avatar

So how does the man feel when he gets cheated on?

El_Cadejo's avatar

the same way a woman feels. Hurt, upset, confused, depressed, anger but most of all betrayed.

luminous00's avatar

I wish women knew that:

we don’t read minds..
we don’t care what you look like naked (just SEEING you naked makes my day)
we don’t look at body flaws, see previous answer
we HATE makeup that’s caked on (it’s bad when your face is whiter than your neck)
applying makeup the correct way is a HUGE turnon, along with self confidence!

MissAnthrope's avatar

I’m sorry, but women have an equally strong biological drive to cheat. It kind of irritates me when men try to blame biology for bad behavior, especially when a lot of the time, women have an equal response. Falling asleep after sex, cheating, etc. Read “The Naked Ape” by Desmond Morris.

noraasnave's avatar

Actually I like women the way they are. If they knew too much they would take over the world!

Phillyzero's avatar

I know this is a late answer but @AlendaD, The Naked Ape is a good read but it still counts as outdated being some 40 years old. Falling asleep after sex only happens after bad sex for women, it has been scientifically proven that men after orgasm are likely to get tired and drowsy whereas a woman after orgasm usually gets more and more excited.

As to the ‘cheating’ thing, men still cheat more than women (though women do it much more than socially expected). If you want to simplify this to a VERY basic evolutionary level, women (as a whole) usually want a mate that will at least stay with them for a relative amount of time to defend during pregnancy and perhaps help raise the child up. This of course doesn’t mean the women won’t cheat, rather it’ll usually be a longer time if at all. The man runs around spreading his “seed” to as many females as he can before his schlong falls off.

noraasnave's avatar

I rescind my previous answer, I am going to go with….I wish women knew that when they cheat on their husband while they are on deployment with other young Marines and you give them your husband’s cellphone to use, he will find out.

stevenb's avatar

Ouch, and man I am sorry for you!!! I hope you get it all figured out. Thanks for all you do to keep me and my family safe. You make me proud to be here.

MissAnthrope's avatar

@PZ – I realize it’s somewhat dated, but I found that most of that lies within outdated research quoted in the book. I also mostly disagreed with his view of homosexuality and found that to be biased by the reasoning of the times. However, most of that book still holds true.

As for the men falling asleep after sex issue, I still maintain that women have an equal (or nearly equal) biochemical response after orgasm. There are reasons for this that make sense in an evolutionary sense. Prolactin is the hormone related to sexual satiation and the drowsy feeling after orgasm.

“Recent human studies show a marked increase in prolactin after orgasm in males and females…Alternatively, prolactin may feedback to dopaminergic neurons in the central nervous system and thereby modulate sexual drive and satiation.” (Prolactinergic and dopaminergic mechanisms underlying sexual arousal and orgasm in humans.)

“Oxytocin and vasopressin, two other chemicals released during orgasm, are also associated with sleep. Their release frequently accompanies that of melatonin, the primary hormone that regulates our body clocks…

“It’s also possible that sleepiness is just a “side effect” associated with a more evolutionarily important reason for the release of oxytocin and vasopressin. In addition to being associated with sleep, both chemicals are also intimately involved in what is called “pair bonding,” the social attachment human mates commonly share. The release of these brain chemicals during orgasm heightens feelings of bonding and trust between sexual partners, which may partially explain the link between sex and emotional attachment. This bond is favorable should the couple have a baby, as cooperative child rearing maximizes the young one’s chances for survival.” (Why do guys get sleepy after sex?)

“In both men and women, very high positive correlations were observed between the percentage change in levels from baseline through orgasm of: [oxytocin] and [systolic blood pressure]; [oxytocin] and [anal electromyography] intensity prior to and during orgasm; [anal photoplethysmography] and [anal electromyography].” (Relationships among cardiovascular, muscular, and oxytocin responses during human sexual activity.”)

“It is during orgasm in both men and women that oxytocin floods through our bloodstream. Oxytocin released by female orgasm helps women lie still for a while afterwards. This increases the likelihood of conception…” (Male and Female Orgasm)

“After orgasm, both men and women release the chemicals oxytocin, prolactin, gamma amino butyric acid and endorphins. Each of these contributes to that roll-over and snore feeling. They seem to be secreted in equal amounts in men and women…” (Why Do Men Fall Asleep After Sex?)

maccmann's avatar

We’re not mind readers. If you have something to say, say it. If you have something on your mind, share it. Don’t just expect us to “get things.”

Don’t try to change us. It’ll push us away.

Don’t treat us like we’re an idiot. I’m not. If you think we’re being stupid about something, tell us, but don’t ever make it a personal attack.

Baby us. Yes, all men want to be babied. Just do it occasionally. Don’t spoil us, just make an effort to make us feel as if we are being taken care of. It will motivate us to do the same for you.

If you ever do gain weight, we don’t see that…we see the woman you are. I’m not going to lie, we all would prefer that you be thinner (just as I am certain that you would prefer that we were as well!), but it’s not as important as you may think it is to us. I’d rather have my companion, SO, wife, whatever be who she is and I can love them for that.

We find women who aren’t self-conscious and have high self-esteem far sexier than any woman with a body like a Victoria Secret model. Smart is sexy! I have personally found women who are socially classifiable as “overweight,” “plain,” or have “mediocre looks” far more attractive than any twenty-something, 36–24-36 bombshell. However, superiority turns us off, just as it would repel us from a man’s superiority.

Don’t expect to cage us. We need to play. Let us go out and do that. Let us be boys. Deal with it. It’ll keep us happy.

evelyns_pet_zebra's avatar

maccmann, your sixth listing could be categorized as, “no matter how good looking she is, you just know that some guy, somewhere, is sick and tired of putting up with her sh*t” :-)

TheFonz_is's avatar

1. the offside rule

thats it, i feel the world would be such a better place if this one thing was made universally clear :)

TheFonz_is's avatar

oh sorry and 2. that they arent the only woman in the world with lovely lady bits :)

well apart from my wife, she’s allowed to think that

FrancisRude's avatar

1. That we are not their slave..
2. That if we look at other women does not mean we want to do that girl
3. That they can’t always get what they want
4. That men have buddies, just like her with her girl friends.
4. That we are humans and we get hurt :)
5. That shopping can be a fun thing if it does not take 2 hours in one store LOL..

Oops i realized i typed 6.. gee lol

FrancisRude's avatar

Other than that, women are great!

Shok's avatar

1. That all men ARE perverts, but we were born that way and we don’t do it intentionally.
2.That we do not speak your female language of signifigant sighs and body movements. Speak words, damn it!
3.That we (generally) prefer to kick the crap out of our problems instead of actually solving them.
4.That we’re trying to pay attention, we’re just easily distracted.

noraasnave's avatar

I wish women knew that they never have to settle, that if they seek to reach their full potential they will eventually find their soul mate.

This one act would eleviate so much drama for them, and so much drama for their family and friends to put up with. They also wouldn’t have 10 children to bring into the relationship with their soul mate when they do find him (exaggeration).

I wish women would wait for their dreams to come true, for their soul mate to appear, woo them, pursue them, win them. Life would be so much easier for everyone.

I hope this helps, hetero ladies.

garyman's avatar

There’s nothing bad in women who make the first moves – they are courageous and they know what they want.

Aster's avatar

@noraasnave I did that. Met my soul mate after waiting for all my dreams of finding Prince Charming to come true.
But then after eighteen years I found out he was really SATAN!

Answer this question




to answer.

This question is in the General Section. Responses must be helpful and on-topic.

Your answer will be saved while you login or join.

Have a question? Ask Fluther!

What do you know more about?
Knowledge Networking @ Fluther