General Question

mirifique's avatar

Can anyone think of any reasons why it would be inadvisable to date someone who works in the same building as you?

Asked by mirifique (1540points) November 3rd, 2009

It’s a 24 story building, if that adds anything. Just curious if I’m committing a dating faux pas.

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35 Answers

Haleth's avatar

It doesn’t really sound that bad. If you break up, you probably won’t see each other that often. A building that big has a lot of different divisions.

MissAnthrope's avatar

The only problems I foresee are gossip and if things don’t work out, the awkwardness of seeing the person. In such a large building, though, these things may be less of a consideration.

jeffgoldblumsprivatefacilities's avatar

If you cheat on them, they may get mad enough to throw you out a window of the 24th floor of that very building. In that case, it would be inadvisable to date them.

Darwin's avatar

Maybe gossip, maybe if you have an ugly break up you wouldn’t want to see the person in the elevator, maybe if you work for the same company it would be frowned upon.

OTOH, it could be a match made in heaven. My mother ended up dating and later marrying her lab assistant. That was 59 years ago and they are still married.

mirifique's avatar

@Darwin No we don’t work for the same company but we would run into each other from time to time. No one from my company ever really talks to anyone else in the building, though.

SpatzieLover's avatar

Most people meet/date people they work near or live by. Your situation is completely normal.

patg7590's avatar

which floors are you both on? it will make all the difference

markyy's avatar

Elevator sex caught on camera, could lead to a security guard blackmailing you!

jackm's avatar

It all depends on how likely you are to see each other if you break up.

markyy's avatar

I hardly think that in a building with 24 stories they are so desperate for gossip that you will become a victim of it. Plus it sounds like a big building to run into each other after things went bad, go for it!

patg7590's avatar

@mirifique if you guys are fighting, that’s a helluva lot of stairs to climb

hungryhungryhortence's avatar

Different companies but same building of that size is no big deal but to keep down snickering, speculation and gossip for people on lunch breaks the two of you may choose to keep it kind of quiet and not easily visible. Working in the same company is riskier because if things aren’t going well or go bust then you have to see each other’s faces and every bored ass around is going to be watching and waiting for disaster to strike so they have something to talk about. It’s also kind of fun and challenging to keep an ‘in house’ relationship on the down low. I look at it as an opportunity to be on best behavior, really be present and thinking things through day to day. ie: I kind of like it- obviously I’ve done it.

markyy's avatar

How are you going to hide from all your coworkers from 2 different companies? Just go with it.

Darwin's avatar

@mirifique – You asked for possibile reasons against it, so I gave them to you as “maybes,” not certainties. As in the case of my parents, it has been known to happen and work out well.

If you really like this person and they like you, go for it. You are only at work 8 hours a day, 5 days a week. What you do outside of that on your own time is your business, as long as it is legal.

mirifique's avatar

Thanks everyone. Now I just hope she doesn’t Fluther. that’d be sorta awkward

SpatzieLover's avatar

@mirifique She’d know you really thought it all out. ;)

patg7590's avatar

@mirifique no, what would be awkward is she answered “no” in this thread.

janbb's avatar

It’s o.k. – just make sure their elevator goes to the top floor. :-)

ItalianPrincess1217's avatar

Don’t do it! It never works out. I tried it a couple times. So many rumors started flying around with each relationship that they both eventually ended on bad terms.

mirifique's avatar

@ItalianPrincess1217 Aww, after all that, a “no?”

ItalianPrincess1217's avatar

@mirifique Sorry, I didn’t even read the other responses. I seen the question and an alarm went off in my head. But for the record I worked with a lot of immature coworkers. They made it very difficult to have a normal relationship with my bf’s in the office.

mirifique's avatar

@ItalianPrincess1217 She’s not in my office; she’s a few floors down.

ItalianPrincess1217's avatar

Well then, I don’t see an issue. Like I said, rumors were my issue. But if it seems to be working out for you, keep dating.

PandoraBoxx's avatar

Go for it! Same building’s like dating the girl next door. Only the corporate girl next door.

It’s only inadvisable if you’re in the same department, have a vendor-client relationship, or work on projects together. Then it’s not a good idea.

srmorgan's avatar

I worked on the floor with someone I dated a fairly long time ago. Although the relationship was good, proximity did cause some problems, especially during those periods when she was seeing someone else.

It was also awkward the one time we broke up for a month or so, running into her in the hall and passing because I did not want to speak to her.

On the other hand it worked out when we got back together and working together and living together and getting married in 1983 while at the same company had it’s points too.


gann's avatar

to me that is something you just do not do . because never know that person will talk to next. the person work and relationships just don’t match.

markyy's avatar

@gann Maybe it’s time to start dating people that don’t live on the same continent as you :P

hungryhungryhortence's avatar

I’m going to throw these examples out there because they worked for me:

*My ex husband and I worked together at 3 different companies, two of them sought to hire us as a package because we were a strong team in ourselves and a easy good bet to add to anyone else’s. There were no issues of us carpooling to work, taking lunches at the same time or whatever because we kept flirtation and pda out of the mix.

*I got an ex bf of mine hired into the same store I worked in, again we carpooled and shared lunches but aside from co workers, no one whould’ve have guessed we were a couple, we kept any drama at the car when we got ready to enter the building.

*The mgt. team for another store I worked talked me into dating a man who came to work for us and were thrilled when we did get together. We carpooled, shared lunches and no one made any fuss at all when I had fresh flowers on my desk every few days for several years.

How your co workers esteem you in the first place is what makes the difference as to whether or not you’ll be supported or not, I think. If your superiors and co workers think you’re a great assest and they think that other person is a great assest and they trust you to conduct yourself as an adult, as a professional then it seems to go well.

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