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Haleth's avatar

There's a job I really want. How can I write a great cover letter?

Asked by Haleth (19538points) January 6th, 2010

There’s an opening for an assistant manager of a small gourmet market. I have experience as an assistant manager and I love this market. They are a local chain (maybe 5–10 locations) and they are partnered with another local business who supplies their coffee. They invented a type of cookie that is one of the few foods indigenous to my area, and they always have creative, colorful seasonal displays. This is basically a retail job because all the food gets delivered; the only thing that gets prepared there is the coffee.

When I was an assistant manager I was in charge of about 10–15 people, total or two or three people per shift. It would most likely be about the same at the gourmet place; they never seem to have more than two or three people on staff at once. Other than that, I opened and closed the store, did merchandising and window displays, trained the staff, wrote up daily totals, did banking for the store, tracked inventory levels, entered new shipments into our system, made a new filing system, worked to reduce shrink (stealing), and did some buying. I feel “meh” about a lot of the jobs I apply for, but I’m qualified for this one and I’d be genuinely excited to work there. My resume is great but I have trouble striking the right tone in cover letters. I know this is TL;DR, and I’d sooo not asking you guys to write the letter for me. I’d just like some helpful advice. :)

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15 Answers

Jeruba's avatar

Send me your letter in a PM.

Double-space between paragraphs so I can see them.

When do you have to send it?

Dr_Lawrence's avatar

I’d be delighted to offer you feedback as well. You seem to have the passion, the experience and the language skills to write a good cover letter. Make sure your enthusiasm and experience come through in your letter.

Haleth's avatar

One more thing: I’m responding to an ad so I have no clue which locations are hiring. I know it makes a big difference to put a name on a letter, but I don’t know who in the company I’ll be writing to. D:

Hawaii_Jake's avatar

I’ve had some experience in writing cover letters and resumes. Most of what you wrote in your second paragraph above sounds like a great cover letter. I would put it in bullet form though.

Haleth's avatar

@hawaii_jake My resume is bulleted, but I don’t know how to convey something like interest or excitement in bullet form. I’m guessing you do this because the HR person or manager just glances over your letter very quickly, and it’s easier for them to read, but how do you make it sound interesting?

Hawaii_Jake's avatar

I took all this from your 2nd paragraph above:

Full assistant management responsibility for # of employees

Accountable daily for opening and closing procedures

Particular skill at merchandising and displays


Haleth's avatar

@hawaii_jake I like your phrasing!

Response moderated
marinelife's avatar

Let me also offer to proof you cover letter for you. Your excitement to work at this place comes through in your writing. That is all you need. Sincerity.

lonelydragon's avatar

You sound like you are a great fit for the job. If I were the hiring manager, I’d hire you. I think you should be yourself and let your natural enthusiasm for the store come through in your letter. Make one or two brief statements about the value that store X contributes to the town as a local store. Also, try to demonstrate your knowledge of the products they sell (which you already did in your question with your story about the cookies, so that should be easy).

marinelife's avatar

@Haleth Great offer, huh? With a typo right in my reply. I was going too fast.

Haleth's avatar

Hey, sorry it’s taken so long for me to get back to you guys. I’ve had a busy today and yesterday, and I’ll get back to all of you ASAP. Again, I’m really grateful.

Haleth's avatar

Hey, I just wanted to stop by and thank everyone for your help. I got the job!!!!!! I start tomorrow. :D This is really meaningful for me because it is my first “grown up” job- the salary is enough for me to support myself comfortably and it comes with benefits and greater responsibility. All right!

Jeruba's avatar

Huge congratulations and many balloons to you, @Haleth. I am so happy for you! You must let us know how it goes.

cookieman's avatar

Congratulations!! @Haleth.

Great news and best of luck with it.

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