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wundayatta's avatar

What are some of the games you have played or that have been played on you in relationships?

Asked by wundayatta (58571points) February 12th, 2010

There are lots of things that people do, I guess, to manipulate their boyfriends and girlfriends. I wouldn’t be surprised if some of you have even played games, too. Like waiting to respond to a call to make them feel like they aren’t that important to you.

I’m just curious about all the different kinds of ways you feel you’ve been manipulated or that you have used to manipulate someone else. What did you do or what was done to you? Under what circumstances?

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33 Answers

casheroo's avatar

I’m convinced my husband does a crappy job cleaning certain things, so I’ll have to do it myself to get it right. It’s a conspiracy theory about men that I’m working on. does that count?

deni's avatar

@casheroo I always look at the dishes after my boyfriend washes one, and every single time there is still something cakes on so it always ends in “FORGET IT, I’LL DO THEM”...I also think it’s a conspiracy.

erichw1504's avatar

@deni Wow, I wish my fiance would say “Forget it, I’ll do them”. She just yells at me and I still have to finish cleaning them.

erichw1504's avatar

Pretending to be something you’re not is probably the biggest and worst “game” you can play in a relationship. Whether it be a friendship or more than that.

Poser's avatar

I dated a girl once and when we broke up, she made me believe that I was mostly to blame. After we broke up, we became just friends, and I realized that she was a gamer. For over a year, I listened to the way she played games with her new boyfriend and realized that she had been playing the same sorts of games with me. She viewed a relationship a comptetition, where you can’t let the other person know you like them because then they’ll have the upper hand. She was incredibly immature.

Blackberry's avatar

When I was in high school I was kind of a bad guy. I said whatever I had to, to get in a woman’s pants. I regret that, I wish I didn’t do it but I was a dumb teen and didn’t know any better.

But then I was manipulated by a woman too and ended up marrying her after 4 months and she totally mind fucked me to the point where I feel traumatized by the whole relationship. I’m still recovering from it and now I’m all cynical and jaded. So now I understand why some women are the same way about men.

Oxymoron's avatar

The game of pretending that you aren’t cheating. I haven’t done this to anyone, but had this one pulled on me quite a few times.

phil196662's avatar

I have a good one for you guy’s!

I dated this woman for several years and she lived in a crappy neighborhood so I got her a lowjack for her car. she forgot it was on it and when she tried the clean break method of being stressed that her car had been stolen I said _fine, went home and activated the lowjack and had the people driving the stolen car arrested right in there driveway!

Freaked her out – She had arranged for her friends to store it at there house as an excuse, shocking part was I upheld the charges ageist her friends. Delayed the court hearing and had the car held for evidence for the entire nine months just because revenge can be sweet.

and it was fun to watch her struggle to get to work on the bus

Then I dated her foxy sister…

wtfrickinfrack's avatar

My last girlfriend used to play all kinds of games. My personal “favorite” (if you could call it that) would be the nonsensical questions (also known as ‘sadistic traps’ or ‘lose-lose relationship tests’ ) like:

“If you had met my best friend first, would you have dated her instead of me?”

“What’s your least favorite thing about me? No really! I won’t get upset! It’s just for fun! Just tell me!”

or

“Once I’m too old to wipe myself… would you find it fulfilling to meet my needs by taking care of that for me?”

Yes… those are actual questions she‘d ask me at like 3 in the morning. And yes… it’s precisely why I freak out every time I think I see her around town. :/

Seek's avatar

Wow.You guys had some crazy chicks.

I think the hardest question I’ve ever asked my husband was “Does this look totally ridiculous, or can I get away with it?”

His answer is, invariably, “Life isn’t a damn fashion show, Alyson.”

phil196662's avatar

Yessssss @Seek_Kolinahr ; And he hopefully won’t let you go out looking completely flat out embarrassing… Except on Halloween where everything is excepted!

deni's avatar

@erichw1504 the way i see it, if he does a crappy job and i have to go back later and scrub each of them even a little bit, i might as well just have done it in the first place. plus i enjoy washing dishes. i’ll say that again—i enjoy washing dishes.

jbfletcherfan's avatar

I’ve never played games & have never had them played on me. We don’t play games with each other here. That’s pretty juvenile. Relationships aren’t to be played with.

Seek's avatar

@deni

You’re hired.

I farcking hate washing dishes. I’ll make you a deal – I’ll clean your bathroom, if you wash my dishes. ^_^

deni's avatar

@Seek_Kolinahr oh dear god, any day. I hate cleaning bathrooms. At a job or at home, but dishes, i’ll do them all day, YO!

Trillian's avatar

My SO pretended to be something that he wasn’t and did it quite skillfully. He knew what I required and put that mask on. Then, when things were at their worst, he refused to admit any culpability, and tried to make me seem unreasonable for wanting what he isn’t. He would not raise his standards, and hated me for not lowering mine. I never understood that. He knew from the beginning that I really didn’t want drugs in my life and he was a huge pill user, snorting them and then finally getting into shooting up. Why bother trying to be with me at all, knowing that? You know what his stupid reason was? He wanted a “good girl”. I couldn’t get through his head. Good girls don’t want to be with guys that do drugs, that’s why they’re good girls.
I don’t even want to get into all the ridiculous crap now, but thinking about it helps keep me from regrets. He would lie a lot and play word games too, like “You can’t prove I did that.” Sheesh.

hungryhungryhortence's avatar

I have tried to pretend certain things don’t bother me when they really do so as not to “rock the boat” but that has been detrimental more than anything. It’s better to speak up, speak out and be understood. Being in agreement is a whole separate thing but I really feel it’s better to let your bf/gf know what’s on your mind- minus name calling.

The worst thing that’s been done towards me is “silence” when a bf is irritated with me. This may have let them not engage me with their anger or exasperation but it made me feel like I had no value.

nailpolishfanatic's avatar

I have never been in a relationship.

evandad's avatar

I use to look like a semi famous guitar player named Skunk Baxter. (Steely Dan) I got lucky a few times pretending I was him. One gal asked me to play a guitar she had at her house. I didn’t get lucky that night.

Seek's avatar

@evandad

That, my friend, is excellent. ^_^

EmpressPixie's avatar

One time I looked into my fiance’s eyes, through my eyelashes, hugged him tightly and said, “I just, I just, I just want some cookies.”

And then he made me some cookies.

True story.

Poser's avatar

@EmpressPixie. I get the same thing all the time from my girlfriend. Once she gave me her sexy dough-eyed look and said, “Will you…” and I stood up to leave.

“Where are you going?” she asked.

“I’m going to get you a candy bar.”

She was amazed that I knew what she wanted.

Cruiser's avatar

I recently played throw the buns at the buns…nothing like a biscuit fight to break the routine…

lfino's avatar

@Poser and @ EmpressPixie, I had been thinking all through this question that I’m not a game player in relationships until I read your answers. Yeah, I’ve done that same look, said that same thing, and I can even throw in a limp and a whimper if it helps, but I will do that for a Custard’s concrete (basically a thick creamy ice cream if you don’t have those stores where you live).

aprilsimnel's avatar

One of my exes would purposely botch up household tasks so I would have to do them, even though he knew I was in school with 14–16 credits, had a 25 hour a week job, homework and extracurriculars.

His only responsibility was an 8-hour shift at a nearby bank as a teller, and he was well out of school. Hmm, you know, I reckon it was past game playing. It was sabotage. He turned an entire batch of whites pink by throwing in his red underwear. He burnt a couple of very expensive steaks I bought in the broiler. He broke mirrors he was supposed to clean. He broke a vacuum cleaner. He’d tell me he’d done laundry when what he really did was stuff clothes under the bed. Ugh.

On my end, I am not sure this is a game, but I was told by one of my exes that I always came off as though I never needed a true relationship with him. Apparently, it bothered him that I refused to be emotionally vulnerable. He saw it as me playing a game. It was unconscious, but for me it was an emotional survival tactic. I saw “not needing anyone for anything emotional” as a way to keep a man from thinking I was a “cling-on”.

Sophief's avatar

Played? I’m an adult, I don’t play games.

Qingu's avatar

Re: cookies it is important to note that EP would not let said person go

And kept on saying “I just want some c c c cookies” in a ridiculously cute way

It was a bit much

wundayatta's avatar

Note to self. If Dibley is ever at the table, you might as fold your cards and go home—unless you have a hankering to lighten your wallet.

Sophief's avatar

I just don’t play games, I am out of school now so therefore why would I want to play games?

Trillian's avatar

@Dibley Tag, you’re it!~

Trillian's avatar

@Dibley Sigh…just tryin’ to be funny. You said you didn’t want to play games, I thought we could play a game of Fluther Tag. Sorry. My humor is frequently inappropriate, and what I think is funny often grates on other peoples nerves.

Sophief's avatar

@Trillian It isn’t inappropriate, just didn’t understand it. Must be the red wine!

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