General Question

eman1994's avatar

How to become popular and cool fast?

Asked by eman1994 (39points) February 13th, 2010

Hi, I am in the tenth grade. Many of you who read this know how important popularity is to a tenth grader. I have suffered from abuse from my mom my whole life and I have a few other mental disabilities. It is really hard to find friends to hang out with. I want to know if anybody has any suggestions to how I can be the kind of person everybody looks up to, the dude everybody wants to hang out with. I want to be the dude who has girls having crushes on him instead of me having all the crushes on the girls. I don’t want to be the one that the girls run away from every time you walk in the same room. If anyone who reads this understands where I am coming from I would appreciate your thoughts and advice.

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24 Answers

johnnyc299's avatar

Just be yourself, be nice to people.

dr34m3r's avatar

being popular is stupid.

you shouldn’t spend your highschool life trying to be “that one guy.”

just enjoy your own hobbies.

be a kid.

Michael_Huntington's avatar

Get a Camaro and a hot girl.

CyanoticWasp's avatar

@eman1994 that cool dude doesn’t really exist, except in literature and movies. Just be friendly, intelligent, humorous, kind to people (especially those who really need people to be kind to them, and you know what I mean by that, I’m sure), and people will start to like you.

“The guy everybody looks up to and likes” often hates himself. Don’t try to be that guy.

janbb's avatar

I remember my son saying that one of the great and unusual things about one of the really popular kids was how nice and friendly he was to everyone. Try to be more interested in people than in how you are coming across to them. In terms of actually making some friends, if you have a hobby and can find a school club to join, you will probably meet some kids you can get enjoy being with. Once you have a few good friends, being really popular may not be as important to you.

Michael_Huntington's avatar

And learn to do a headshot, chicks dig guys who can pull off mucho headshots in a match.

lucillelucillelucille's avatar

Confidence is everything,Eric.I do think just by asking this question,shows you have guts.That is an awesome quality and one I have great respect for.I think that given enough time,people will discover what kind of man you are and will appreciate you for it.In the meantime,try not to worry about being popular and live your life according to own values.Those who share those values will come to you:) Remember,you will be lucky if you can count your true friends on one hand.

SuperMouse's avatar

Eric, I am going to tell you the same thing I tell my boys every morning when I drop them off at school, be kind and do your best. Don’t worry about trying to gain popularity. Be true to yourself. Be good to yourself. Be good to others. Know that you are a young man with lots of value and lots of potential. If you strive to do your best and be the best you you can possibly be, all that other stuff will fall perfectly in to place. Be patient and remember there are jerks in every crowd – especially when it is a high school aged crowd – and their opinions of you mean nothing.

BoBo1946's avatar

@johnnyc299 vote for your answer! EXCELLENT answer!

footnote to our 10th grade friend: In this life we live, the most important thing a person can do, is be at peace with yourself. If you are popular…great…if not, great!

lilikoi's avatar

Be yourself; it’s all you can be.

janbb's avatar

Another thing. I always told my sons, there are a certain few people who are very popular in high school, and some who are picked on and shunned. Most people are like I was, in the middle with some friends. As long as you are in that vast middle, don’t worry too much about popularity.

wundayatta's avatar

The problem with being popular in high school, is that that might be the high point of your life. You don’t want that. Far too many popular guys flame out after high school.

If you just try to have fun in high school, and maybe date a little, but not be a star, you’re better off for the future. You want to be able to do better when you get out of high school. There’s a whole wide world out there where high school doesn’t matter.

High school is practice socializing and dating and all that, but things are different in high school. They aren’t very subtle. If you want to grow up to be a serious person, popularity is beside the point. If you think you’re going to be shallow, then by all means, follow the suggestions everyone is giving you.

ucme's avatar

This was in my questions for you.Not sure which way to take that.

SuperMouse's avatar

@wundayatta my oldest brother had that happen. After four glorious years in high school, it took him almost 10 years to get his feet back under him in the real world.

Cruiser's avatar

First off you need to accept your self as you are. You say you have suffered abuse and have mental disabilities. You may not be perfect but nobody is…there may to appear to be perfect people out there and having all the girls and being accepted by everybody is not what life is all about. Having one girl who loves you for who you are and one good friend you can trust to have your back when you need it is what you want not an army of flash in the pan people who only want to hang with you as long as you buy the pizza and pop.

Stick to your guns and what you do best and they will come!

Jeruba's avatar

@ucme, all it means is that something in the tags for this question and something in your profile or answer history matched up.

YARNLADY's avatar

Win the lottery.

No, really, ask yourself what do you like in a friend/popular person – then allow your own personality to develop those traits. Don’t ‘change’ into something, but allow your own best attributes to come out.

FireMadeFlesh's avatar

One of the biggest things that makes someone unpopular is insecurity. People will play on your insecurities given half a chance, so just be confident with who you are and stop caring what people think of you. Even if you can’t stop caring, act like you don’t.

SeventhSense's avatar

Get arrested. Girls love the bad boy.

mirifique's avatar

Don’t be an asshole. Not much more complicated than that.

qashqai's avatar

1) take all the time you need to recover from the things you passed through;
2) hang out with guys that find ‘being popular’ as difficult as you;
3) (usually those guys are smarter than average)
4) team up with them
5) found a newco in a garage;
6) get your first million $;
7) grow even richer
8) lough loud at the people in your school that didn’t find you interesting enough, those stupids.

Dr_Lawrence's avatar

Popularity is overrated. Really, it is!
Work through issues from your past and learn to respect yourself for who you are.
Figure out what you like, what you think is important, what is worth your time and effort beyond your schoolwork.
Hang out with people who share your interests and values. They are much more interesting in the people caught up in the pursuit of popularity.
Learn to treat everyone around you with kindness and empathy
Be cheerful and willing to help others.
Be willing to take the risk to approach girls that interest you for more than their looks or popularity. They will be much more interesting and fun to be with than the others.

You received some excellent advice from several people I’ve learned to value and respect here on Fluther, including @janbb, @wundayatta and @lucillelucillelucille.

@CyanoticWasp and @SuperMouse gave you great answers too.

You have some great ideas to consider. You will do fine.

ucme's avatar

@Jeruba Yeah I know just joking.Thanks for your courtesy anyway.

stultzy's avatar

High School is a challenging time in anyone’s life no matter if your popular or not. After you graduate you’ll look back years later and realize that you’re proud of who you were in High School. So what if you arent the most popular or the one who girls are falling for. You’re cool, just by being authentically you.

Being yourself, no matter how “nerdy” or “dorky” you think you are is the best thing to be. I was a nerd in High School, played in the band, read a lot of books, got straight A’s and I wouldn’t change it for the world. Yes, I used to want to be the most popular one and the one everyone got crushes on but those “popluar” people are now the ones who aren’t doing anything with their lives. By having courage to be who you are, I can guarantee you you’ll find a girl who likes you for who you are.

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