Social Question

jazzjeppe's avatar

What does it feel like to know that you are good looking?

Asked by jazzjeppe (2598points) March 11th, 2010

Like when you are young and you know you look good, that other people around you think you do. I mean, like…growing up and you probably know that you will find that special person and you will fall in love, get married before you’re 30, have kids and a house…

When you know that you never will have a problem finding a partner, love or whatever… When you more or less know that things will work out for you relationship-wise. Kinda..

What does that feel like? Is it satisfaction? Calmness?

Observing members: 0 Composing members: 0

71 Answers

Sophief's avatar

I have no idea. I was a good looking child though, until I got to about 11! Though I am starting to learn that it is what is inside that counts.

lucillelucillelucille's avatar

Let me remove the bags from my head and I’ll tell you ;)lol
Looks are no guarantee of happiness.One of the most interesting,sexy men I have ever met was Dave.He was not a classic beauty.He had more women after him because he knew how to treat them and people in general . He was truly charming.and happy :)

JeffVader's avatar

Let me refer you to my good-looking friend Fiddle_Playing_Creole_Bastard as I haven’t the faintest idea.

BoBo1946's avatar

as always, “beauty is in the eyes of the beholder!”

Strauss's avatar

When I was growing up, and also when I was a young adult, everyone said I was good looking. But despite that, I was awkward and self conscious as a youth. In my early adulthood (up till my fortieth year), I had several “serious” relationships, but I was concentrating more on my music than on my love life, and still had some awkwardness and self-conscious issues to work through.

What really matters is how you see yourself.

JeffVader's avatar

@Yetanotheruser Well, trim that facial hair & I’m sure you’d look fine :)

deni's avatar

I’ve never really consistently thought I was attractive but I’ve often been told I am. i don’t think I’m ugly, but there are certain things about myself that I don’t like. When someone, my boyfriend, for example, goes on and on about how beautiful I am, sometimes I have a really hard time believing him and not thinking that he’s just messing with me. But I know he’s not, and it’s, in my opinion, one of the most wonderful feelings in the world to know that someone loves everything about you including all of you physically with your flaws and everything. I guess this is a little different than what the questions asking, but its all I got folkz.

Jude's avatar

When I read this question, I pictured Ben Stiller’s Zoolander character saying it to himself in the mirror. Adding, “ridiculously good looking”, though.

deni's avatar

@jjmah the center needs to be at least….three times this size! hahahahahahhahaha

CMaz's avatar

I just look.

davidbetterman's avatar

“Oh Lord it’s hard to be humble when you’re perfect in every way…”

Strauss's avatar

@Cloverfield I recently trimmed up my wooskers for a job interview, and my ten-year-old, who has never seen me clean-shaven, asked me why I did that!

Captain_Fantasy's avatar

It’s pretty great.

JeffVader's avatar

@Yetanotheruser Ah, the innocence of childhood :)

Strauss's avatar


“I can’t wait to look in the mirror, ‘cause I get better lookin’ each day!”

davidbetterman's avatar

I was waiting for someone to drop the other shoe! Nice Catch!

Strauss's avatar

@davidbetterman Well, as the song goes, “To know me is to love me!” LOL

CyanoticWasp's avatar

Mom lied. But I believed her.

I like the line from the Shins in Turn on Me:
You can fake it for awhile
Bite your tongue and smile
Like every mother does her ugly child…

Captain_Fantasy's avatar

To elaborate, when you look good, you feel good and you don’t need to look like a sculpted Michaelangelo to feel good about how you look.

aprilsimnel's avatar

It may help to start a practice, like meditation, or similar, to just sort of drill down past your ego and learn about what’s really inside you so you don’t scare yourself with stories about how unlovable and ugly you are. That’s you ego telling you that, and it’s lying to you.

partyparty's avatar

‘One mans meat is another mans poison’ ... as the saying goes.

janbb's avatar

I wouldn’t know but have recently decided that looking o.k. is good enough.

partyparty's avatar

@BoBo1946 How very true that is LOL

JLeslie's avatar

I think very few people during their youth feel like they are beautiful. Most young people are very worried about fitting in, and looks are not everything, they worry about their clothes, and other material things also. I always thought I was pretty average, although some features were better than others. I look back at photos of me and realize I had no idea how pretty I really was. Not just personal beauty, but just having youth on my side and nothing really negative to focus on, and I smiled a lot, was outgoing. I think most young people have this quality, and have no idea what they have at the time. I never felt sure I would always have a boyfriend, or that I would always get the job I wanted. Like they say youth is wasted on the young. But, I do think outward appearance does count to some extent today in society, unfortunately. You don’t have to be gorgeous, but pulling your act together seems to help have influence. I once read a study about how doctors treat patients and they saw differences with how the patient is dressed, how they look, etc.

As people get older I think looks matter less and less. Peers of mine who focus too much on physical beauty and more material things many times appear insecure to me.

Blackberry's avatar

It feels pretty great, its going to suck when I get old.

Cruiser's avatar

Looks have very little to do with finding a life partner you can love and depend on. Looks are deceiving in that regard. Can’t always judge a book by it’s cover and often there is a surprise ending.

DominicX's avatar

I’ve always felt I was good looking (and had other people back that up for me), but not exceptional or anything. For me, it was just more confidence. I never described myself as “ugly” and never thought of myself that way. That didn’t mean I thought I was a supermodel (I could definitely recognize the less good-looking features of myself); it meant I was confident of looking pretty good and didn’t have to worry that much about my appearance. Of course I always try to look as good as possible, clothing-wise. :P I didn’t really think I would be guaranteed a partner, but I did have a lot of girls like me in high school, so I’ll take that as a good sign…too bad that was the wrong gender… :P

CyanoticWasp's avatar

@Blackberry I disagree about your supposition. Watch and see.

Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

Well I have my good days and I have my bad days – either way I detest people looking at me, checking me out, etc. If I look good, it’s for myself, not for them. When I was younger, I looked like a more ‘appropriate’ version of a woman and got a lot of attention – let me tell you I was as hollow as an owl’s nest. Now I have depth, I have love, I don’t know if I look good but I know good looks don’t guarantee much and aren’t forever.

JLeslie's avatar

@Simone_De_Beauvoir Interesting. I think I actually enjoy a little attention when I feel I am looking fabulous on a particular day. Entering a party room for instance, I don’t mind the eyes on me. I never really analyzed it. As I get older that happens less and less though lol. I just think in the end, with the people I love, and who I am closest too, looks mean nothing.

Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

@JLeslie I guess it depends on where I am going – if I’m dancing tango, I do want eyes on me but I want them to think ‘she’s a great dancer’ and not what they usually think which is ‘would you look at that ass’

casheroo's avatar

I don’t like when people think I rely on looks. But, I’m guilty of using looks to get things. I will say though, just being good looking doesn’t guarantee happiness…finding love, having a family etc. Anyone can have those things, regardless of looks.

dpworkin's avatar

In my estimation, the “better” looking people are, the less well-socialized they are, and the more likely they are to have personality problems if not outright disorders. Give me regular looking and funny over beautiful and narcissistic, any old day.

Captain_Fantasy's avatar

I’m not getting the link between looking good and narcissism. I don’t think one need be married to the other.

dpworkin's avatar

Well we except present company. I’m sure you are not the least bit narcissistic, and we know you are gorgeous.

DominicX's avatar


I haven’t found that to be true. But then again, I don’t find the super plastic caked-on make-up people to be that attractive in the first place. I know a guy who goes to UC Davis and I knew him all through high school and middle school. I still think he’s one of the best looking people I’ve ever seen in my entire life, but he is far from narcissistic.

I think it’s a pity that people who are good-looking find themselves being narcissistic. The best type of person is the one who is really good-looking, but completely oblivious to it. :)

Derek Zoolander on the other hand…he’s almost too good-looking. At least he realized there was more to life than being really really really ridiculously good-looking.

Exhausted's avatar

Your question indicates (to me anyway) you are under the impression that the world opens up to attractive people. That may be true to some extent, but good looks will only take you so far and if you don’t have what it takes to get you through, good looks aren’t good enough. Most people, including myself when I was young, are not aware of how attractive they are. I look back now and realize if I knew then, what I see now, I would have taken advantage of how good I looked and enjoyed myself to the fullest. I think confidence is the thing most people are attracted to. Regardless of your external appearance, now is your life and you should enjoy it and make the most of it. Not even good looking people are guaranteed happiness because it comes from the inside.

Kokoro's avatar

Hmm. This question seems to be made up of all kinds of stereotypes and assumptions which aren’t true. I have been told by people and strangers that I am good looking, but really.. I don’t think I am. I think I am ok. I don’t stress importance on looks anyway.

I really believe that it is inside that counts, whether it’s been oversaid or not. I think confidence plays a major factor. Attractiveness by America’s standards, you always see what some people will say, “H/she is ugly, how did they get with him/her?” Because it’s not about looks. I am young and single but that doesn’t really heighten my chances of anything. In fact, I’m in my 20s and I’ve only had one boyfriend in my life. I’m super picky and am in no rush to get married or date. The one will come in time.

As far as feelings about it, I don’t think about it at all. It’s not that important to me, at least not at this age.

TexasDude's avatar

It feels amazing.

casheroo's avatar

@dpworkin I don’t think knowing you are good looking means you are narcissistic.

Chongalicious's avatar

Looking nice is no guarantee on finding love…if anything it can be harder for someone who looks nice most times, not to find a partner, but to find a good one. If you don’t really have a lot of looks to carry you along, people only have your personality to fall in love with so in retrospect it is easier for more average looking people to find real love than it would be for say, a model.

wundayatta's avatar

Self image is not often correlated with the way others see you. I never felt like I was good looking, but when I look back at pictures of me then, I think, damn! If only I knew what I know now, I could have really taken advantage of it!

But now I’m 30 years older, and going gray and plump, and so I feel about the same about myself. In another 30 years, I’ll probably be looking back and saying the same thing that I now say about my twenty year old self.

Anyway, I can’t tell you what it feels like to know you are good looking because I never felt that way. A few years ago, someone told me I had a cute butt, but I was kind of insulted. First of all, I don’t believe it, and even if I did, it’s not exactly the feature I want people coming onto me for.

Now, while I’ve felt like I look good, I have felt like I am good. There are moments when I have confidence and I know I can persuade everyone in the room to do whatever I want them to do. That happened once or twice in my life. There are other times when I have had everyone’s attention and I knew I should have it.

But mostly I am oblivious to people who are attracted to me, for whatever reason. I never know they admired me for something or another until way after the fact. I wonder why they didn’t tell me back then, when I could have done something about it. Such is life. I don’t think very many of us know why others are attracted to us, or even if we are attractive.

The ones who say they are attractive or confident often seem like unpleasant people to me. I guess I prefer people who either don’t brag or don’t feel they have anything to brag about. Bragging is unbecoming. Being overt about your happy opinion of yourself is a major turnoff for me, too. I assume it is for other people too. Unfortunately, in my case, since I never say or think anything good about myself, I start to feel like I’m no good. That’s not healthy. But I don’t want to be one of those people I can’t stand, and I don’t want to feel bad. I can’t find the territory in between—not right now, anyway.

faye's avatar

I think being good looking had made things easier for me all my life. People just react more favorably at first. Of course then it was up to me to show that I was smart and caring. I have always noticed a big difference in behavior towards me when I was overweight to when I was slim.

OpryLeigh's avatar

I don’t consider being good looking as a guarantee that everything in life will be perfect. I usually am happy with the way I look but when I have had bad times in life that certainly hasn’t made them any easier to deal with. I like the days when I feel good about the way I look and on those days I feel a little more confident around other people. To know that I am looking good on a particular day I’m sure there aren’t many people who feel they look good every day makes me feel like I have a little bit of control. No one can deny that it’s nice to feel good about ourselves but we can’t forget that there is always a bad hair day oor a spot waiting around the corner!

phillis's avatar

I took beauty for granted. I had THE most rockin’ bod, but I sometimes (not always) used it as a weapon against others. Now I am fat from meds and hypothyroidism, and getting older. Had I maintained that level of vanity, I would be suffering a great deal more than I am now. I had to get relearn the lesson that there are more types of beauty than what genetics handed me, which was really important. It made me much, much more forgiving of the flaws in others, too.

pearls's avatar

@BoBo1946 don’t be so modest.

Val123's avatar

I didn’t realize how beautiful I was until I got to the age I am now and look back on the pictures. I knew I got a lot of recognition and compliments, but I figured they told that to all the girls.

tranquilsea's avatar

Being attractive (unknowingly) caused a few problems for me when I was 17–19. But it was not until I stopped wearing makeup at 24 due to the demands of raising 3 kids that I noticed just how preferential some people can be towards perceived beauty. I could go out one day (stressed & tired) and people just behaved normally. But then if I put on makeup many people would treat me, well, better. It took me a while to put all the different reactions together and then I started to experiment. My sisters noticed the same things. One even decided to shun makeup all together.

DrasticDreamer's avatar

Being considered beautiful does not necessarily make your life easier, and being aware that you’re considered attractive by many people does not make one narcissistic. Growing up, I was extremely self-conscious despite the fact that people told me on a regular basis that I was beautiful. I think one reason I was so paranoid about the way I looked was because of how my parents raised my sister I. My parents and everyone around me used to tell my sister that she was highly intelligent and that she had a great future ahead of her. What did I hear? “You’re so beautiful!”. I was never told I was smart, never told that I could accomplish great things. It was always, only, “You’re beautiful”. After a while, in my early teens, I began to feel like one of the stupidest people alive, which is bullshit – because I am smart and I always have been. But that isn’t what anyone focused on and it gave me a major complex as a young teen. I began to feel like my looks were the only thing I had to rely on because it’s the only area I ever received any kind of attention in.

And when it came to men? “You’re hot!” “You’re beautiful.” Yeah? What the hell else am I to you? I hated attention from men, because I felt like a worthless piece of shit to most of them. I became all too aware of how many men wanted to sleep with me – but it always ended there. They didn’t care about me, and they had no desire to, ever. I was judged by people from all walks of life. I remember in school, I couldn’t even have real friends, because everyone that I thought was worthwhile getting to know wouldn’t have anything to do with me – because they stereotyped me as a complete moron. It’s one of the reasons I ended up dropping out of school. I hated the people who wanted to be friends with me, and I couldn’t have any real friends.

All I’m saying is that life is life. “The grass is always greener on the other side”. To this day, I still meet people that are completely unwilling to take me seriously.

YARNLADY's avatar

I have no idea. In my family, my sister was the beauty and I had the brains. However, I can tell you that after I got out of high school, I never had any trouble finding all those things, so I can assure you that ‘good looking’ is not the answer.

A person who is comfortable with their own life, and has a lot to offer as a companion will have no trouble living the life they want.

Val123's avatar

@DrasticDreamer Um hmmm. I hear you. And to @YARNLADY‘s point, all you ever hear is “So and so got the looks, so and so got the brains.” Like they’re mutually exclusive.

Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

@Val123 exactly they’re not mutually exclusive.

Val123's avatar

@Simone_De_Beauvoir Exactly. Shall I post the question, or shall you? Good looking one’s first! Er. No. Brainy ones first. I’m so confused!

Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

@Val123 you post it, Project Runway’s about to be on

Val123's avatar

@Simone_De_Beauvoir K. I don’t know what Project Runway is. Is it a beauty pagent?

Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

@Val123 a clothing designer competition

Chongalicious's avatar

@Val123 I love that show :) Some of the tings a few designers make is hideous, though.
Haven’t watched it since season four, when my love, Christian Siriano won…the show isn’t as good without his flamboyance! :D

Chongalicious's avatar

@Val123 Well I see you have internet, might I suggest Youtube?

Val123's avatar

@Chongalicious Ach! No. I’d rather sit on the couch and watch TV, and I KNOW you can hook it all up to the TV, but I’m good with my one channel. (I’m exaggerating with the 1 channel, btw…) The internet has taken over my life quite enough, thank you.

Chongalicious's avatar

Haha well the link is actually to a specific part of the show :) I wasn’t trying to be smart (sorry if I came off that way) but yeah, I understand..oy, I’ll need a butt donut if I sit here for much longer >.<

Val123's avatar

@Chongalicious It’s all good. :)

BoBo1946's avatar

@pearls loll…hey Sport!

BoBo1946's avatar

@partyparty back in my younger days, dating some very beautiful women, but by the time i got them home from a date, they did not look so good. Dating ladies that were cute, but by the time i got them home, damn…they look like Miss America!

BoBo1946's avatar

excuse me…meant to say, dated ladies that were cute….blah blah…!$!#%$^

partyparty's avatar

@BoBo1946 But isn’t Miss America the most beautiful person in America?

BoBo1946's avatar

@partyparty yes, but due to their personality, sweetness, etc. a cute girl can be Ms America in my eyes! Whereas, a very beautiful girl that is self centered, etc., can go the opposite direction in my eyes. Bottomline, beauty to me, is the whole person. Not just their looks, figure, etc.

partyparty's avatar

@BoBo1946 Yes I understand now. Someone like Ms America is likely to love ‘herself’ more than her partner, thanks

Strauss's avatar

@BoBo1946 Are we talking about “Beer Goggles”?

BoBo1946's avatar

@Yetanotheruser LOLL….actually, no..but, point well taken!

Beer Goggles!
1 min 4 sec – Dec 16, 2008

Answer this question




to answer.
Your answer will be saved while you login or join.

Have a question? Ask Fluther!

What do you know more about?
Knowledge Networking @ Fluther