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joscketSeper's avatar

How can i Be attractive( personality wise) to Foreign people when I'm not a typical American?

Asked by joscketSeper (323points) March 13th, 2010


I’m in my early 30’s. latino. not a problem right? But I’m different.
Many latinos even all of my relatives, are loud and outgoing.

Foreigners seem to like confident, outgoing Americans who are good at speaking their own language.

I have a speech impediment and also because i’ve been shy all my life, my speaking skills suck and i don’t know alot vocab, expressions, slang etc. I’ve never had friends either. And no i don’t speak good spanish. My spanish sucks too.

So, Japanese or Chinese ESL students in america, want to meet typical Americans because they want to learn Native English. I don’t have that in me, so they are generally not interested in me.

I’ve tried to meet many of them, but it always turns bad. I try my best, but when they hear my accent and the fact that i speak really slow( don’t sound fluent), they loose interest.

I’ve studied Japanese and i want to meet Asians for cultural and language exchange but so far, it seems like they see me like I’m useless garbage.

There have been times when I meet some Japanese or Korean that is friendly towards me and is interested in me. But usually those people have a very low level of English. The advanced English speakers think of me as NOT AMERICAN and clearly from the way they look at me, i can see they are not interested.

Anyway, I met some Japanese and foreigners in some Social networking place and they are living in my city. We’re going to meet soon, but I’m worried that they won’t like me.

Any tips on what i can do to not be seen as garbage just because I’m not a native english speaker?

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10 Answers

joscketSeper's avatar

Just to clear this up.. I’m latino but American born

Fenris's avatar

The biggest conundrum here is that your worrying physically creates a reaction that says to everyone that you’re intensely worried, and that can be a big turnoff, period. Whatever you do, don’t go in with any expectations. Make sure you have an understanding of this group’s likes and just try to hang out. If they don’t like you, well it just supports my theory that about 5% of the human race actually deserves the gift of life.

Arp's avatar

Don’t judge people from their race, or where they come from. Judge them by who they are.

lifeflame's avatar

I’m from Hong Kong; and I’ve travelled to all sorts of places where I had to pick up the language. (e.g., Poland)

Be a human being first. You’ll be surprised at how much you can communicate with so little words. I once had a flatmate in Poland with whom we had very very funny conversations despite my terrible Polish and her faltering English. I think the main thing is that if you are curious about people, you can find a way to connect.

gailcalled's avatar

Can you get some help from a speech therapist? There are many tricks to handle speech impediments? And you can certainly easily increase your English vocabulary and ease of usage, again with a tutor.

Do you have family who can offer some support? If you are not putting us on, you do have a lot of odd issues. I hope you can find some solutions.


I never judge people by the way they speak, how much they know, or what they look like. I am normally a very perceptive person, and from what you have told us here, I can see you are a good person by heart, and that’s what is most important to me. Don’t worry about how good you speak. You expressed yourself very well here, and I know where you are coming from——I don’t speak very good myself (although I write well), and I often find myself struggling awkwardly in social settings too. But good, intelligent people will be able to see you for yourself and not what you are “trying to be”, and they will appreciate you for your sincerity and conscientiousness. I like you very much already, and I haven’t even met you. That’s because I can “see” the sensitivity in your written words and how much heart you have. Anyone who laughs at you because of the way you speak is not deserving of your friendship or sincerity. I hope to be your friend joscketSeper! ;)

By the way, I’m of Japanese-Chinese descent. Lol.

Sariperana's avatar

None of the stuff you are worried about means anything to anyone but you. The real issue is your lack of confidence.

If people can’t accept you at your worst, then they don’t accept you at your best.

Start liking yourself. It works wonders :)

Sariperana's avatar

Oh and maybe learn a little bit about their country, that way you can ask questions an get the conversation going…

bea2345's avatar

Define a typical American. There are more than 300 000 000 of you.

JeffVader's avatar

No, no, no, no, no! The type of American you describe is exactly what us Johhny foreigners hate about Americans. Please keep your quiet, shy ways….

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