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jealoustome's avatar

Do think Fluther should have a separate teen section?

Asked by jealoustome (1514points) March 13th, 2010

I’ve seen questions by thirteen year olds on fluther. This leads me to wonder if they are reading some of the questions and answers labeled “NSFW” and how I would feel if my young daughter was reading them. We don’t shelter her, but I wouldn’t feel comfortable with her reading some of the adult-themed conversations. Example: “Women do you like to swallow?”

On the other side, I think some of the teen questions are kind of lame. I hate to say that, but they are really questions that other teens would enjoy answering, but that I, as an adult, find a little inane. I know the devil’s advocate response would be to say that the adult questions posed on this site are equally lame, and I agree. But, it still seems like it might be nice to have a place on this site for teens to ask other teens teen questions. Example: “How do I know if the boy in study hall likes me?”

Teens, I think you’re awesome. Please don’t respond to this question to tell me what a lame, overprotective adult I am. Adults, same.

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27 Answers

Pretty_Lilly's avatar

No, because that’s where all the ”*Pervs” will hang out !!
*Which reminds me,say hello to your uncle from me.

jealoustome's avatar

@Pretty_Lilly Good point. Hadn’t thought of that.

Vunessuh's avatar

There are plenty of adults on here who act like teenagers and plenty of teenagers on here who act like mature adults.
You’re basically implying that all teenagers on this site aren’t mature enough to handle the nsfw questions and that all of the adults (20+) are actually mature. There are plenty of ‘adults’ I would send to that section in a jiffy if they made it.
So unfortunately, that idea wouldn’t stop some of these lame questions you speak of.
It’s not so black and white. It just doesn’t work that way.

FutureMemory's avatar

They hear the NSFW stuff at school every day.

Berserker's avatar

I don’t think it’s very necessary, and when it comes to appropriate subject matter, having a separate teen section wouldn’t stop the curious teen from going into NSFW questions or the adult section.

I think Fluther also has some disclaimer somewhere saying that it is a place for dealing with maturity, so all have been warned.

I’m not criticizing you at all; but if you don’t monitor your daughter’s actions online, not much is going to stop her, or other people, from going in places that may otherwise be restricted to them.

Also point in case, knowledge is for everyone. If teenagers annoy us, it’s our job to instruct them instead of gathering them all and makin em eat at the kiddie table during Christmas, so to speak.

phillis's avatar

I am sure the site is designed this way with plenty of forethought. If we separated the teens from the adults, who is going to provide teens with new ways of seeing things that can help them overcome problems? What if a teen is suicidal? The blind leading the blind never works, as all adults can testify. All they would have is each other.

cockswain's avatar

I think the spirit of the idea is that when I answer a question like “Do you like having your balls licked” I tend to assume I’m addressing adults, and not a 14 year old girl. Yes, I realize the counter argument is “how do you know how the age of the questioner,” but I like the idea. Teens and adults crossover in many ways in terms of maturity, but I think generally adults are more mature. I would personally like to not have to sift through questions like “does this boy like me” or “do braces hurt” to more easily find the stuff I like.

I know this would be difficult to create or enforce, and likely the teens would prefer to get advice from adults. I like the intelligent conversations on fluther, and would like some way to filter those from the more mundane, attention getting questions. Maybe different categories of forums on the home page could be an improvement.

jeffgoldblumsprivatefacilities's avatar

I completely see your point about the NSFW questions, but I think if there was a separate teen section and adult section, Fluther would start to become more like a social site, and less like a Q&A site.

cyn's avatar

Some of us “teens” are pretty mature about “NSFW” things and some “adults” are pretty immature about the “NSFW.” Now, I can say that I’ve learned a lot from adults and their experiences in here. I don’t think a “teen” section will be a good idea.

phillis's avatar

I don’t doubt that there are teens who are perfectly capable of NSFW questions. But it is the right thing to do, to re-examine our decisions from time to time, so I can’t fault the author that it has been brought up. We do have a responsibility to kids/young adults. In the end, I would keep it as it is for the same reason I just told someone else regarding this question. Words are our only tools on the internet. Keeping young adults in with those who actually experienced teen issues is invaluable.

Sometimes, a person has to be violently shaken out of thier current reality before they can see a new one. On the whole, other kids just can’t do that.

jealoustome's avatar

@cyndihugs I completely agree that some teens are more mature than others. And, I’m happy that you’ve learned from the adults on fluther. I would have to say that it still concerns me that my daughter might read some things that I’d rather wait for her to learn or that I’d like for her to ask me about. I realize that not all teens have open communication with their parents. And, really, when I say “teens,” I mean 13 and 14 year olds. Young adults who are 16–19 are not who I am concerned about. Some 13 year olds are very young for their age others more mature. It’s up to parents to monitor what kids are doing, but we can’t be everywhere. If a site says it is for 13 and up, I’d like for some thought and consideration to be put into the subject matter.

Also, there is the weird possibility that a parent and child could be on this site and the parent could accidentally reveal too much about their preferences to their own child. Just sayin’.

Just_Justine's avatar

I think it should be separate for lot’s of reasons.

ninjacolin's avatar

“Women do you like to swallow?”

is there a good reason not to let kids research such a question?

wundayatta's avatar

What are we protecting? They only need go to some other site, and not only can they talk about swallowing, they can see it. And many other practices as well. There is no protection these days, except education.

Cheeseball451's avatar

@cyndihugs I agree some teens are mature then others.

jealoustome's avatar

@ninjacolin The question isn’t as disturbing as some of the answers. Some of the answers would give a young impressionable person a skewed idea of what is involved in a healthy sexual encounter.

@wundayatta Too true. I’m not saying the Internet should be on lockdown. I’m just asking about this site and the responsibility of the adults who frequent it to consider the other members who may or may not be young and immature.

phillis's avatar

@wundayatta It’s the lesser of two evils, in my mind. I wouldn’t want my daughters on here. I agree with you. If they do go to other sites where the only focus is sex, there won’t be anyone there to protect them at all, like I am certain there is, here.

ninjacolin's avatar

“I’m just asking about this site and the responsibility of the adults who frequent it to consider the other members who may or may not be young and immature.”

well.. if you were to ask me to be any more responsible about my posting than i currently am, or if you were to ask me whether others should be any more responsible.. i would say no. I think things are fine the way they are.

I could be wrong, but I seriously doubt it.

faye's avatar

I know the teens could teach me some NSFW stuff!! I find some questions belong in a bedroom with their friends to talk and giggle about but some are because the teen wants adult input.

jealoustome's avatar

@ninjacolin I guess what I mean is (and you can see this from my question) I’d like to not have to think about my adult responsibility so much because I am in a clearly labeled “adult section”. If a teen were to frequent the adult section, I would have no responsibility for what they might read. But, if I am on a website purportedly for ages 13 and up, I feel that I am writing for that audience and that changes what is appropriate.

ninjacolin's avatar

I haven’t read the terms and conditions but they might explain what the nature of this place is, giving us exactly that freedom to be and say whatever’s on your mind in as adult a fashion as you are able to conjure.

Cheeseball451's avatar

Well hear is my input:
I think that we shouldn’t have a section for teens because first of all there going to grow up some time… Having teens put in a teen section is not going to make them stop with the foul language and alter answers. The kids should have there freedom. But i totally see where your getting at about teens and incongruous questions and answers. But i just don’t think that the teen sectoin would be a good idea. and not all teens are overblowen, some teens i bet are very autumnal and can handle things such as “Is masterbaiting a good thing?” I can see where your getting at and i know some people have there different inpinions but I think that teens shouldn’t have there own section.

- Cheese

jealoustome's avatar

Okay, quick question to all: What if the adult conversations among strangers and teenagers that take place on this site occurred face to face in real life? Would you feel comfortable saying the things you say on this site to a young person you met in a coffee shop? I wouldn’t. That’s all I’m saying.

I get and agree with a lot of the points made here. My daughter comes home and asks me questions about stuff I didn’t learn about until I was 18 and she’s almost 12. I don’t think I can shelter her and I wouldn’t want to. But, that doesn’t change the fact that I wouldn’t start an inappropriate conversation with her and her friends just because they could find it on the internet themselves, anyway. Two wrongs don’t make a right. I feel bad that my little brother saw “Two Girls One Cup” before he had his first sexual experience. The internet is a cruel place, but I don’t think that justifies every single thing we do.

wundayatta's avatar

@jealoustome I’m sure there are children here, too. They ask you to say you are thirteen, but there’s no way to check. It’s up to the children’s parents, I think, to protect their children, should the children need protecting.

My daughter is thirteen. When she was much younger, she got a very inappropriate pop-up on some webpage. She came to us to have us make it go away. I don’t believe in internet nanny stuff. I believe in teaching my kids to be responsible and to handle what happens. Their school helps a lot, too.

But the kids also protect us. They know we want to think of them as innocent, so they don’t tell us all the stuff they know and do.

The kids here can easily stay away from NSFW questions. Or they can look at them. If there was an adult section, it would be the same. They can look, or not. There is no purpose served by having a separate section—except to draw more kids, most likely. It would probably not be the effect you were hoping for, and I’m sure the mods would have a hell of a time policing the adult section.

I think you’ve proposed a solution in search of a problem. The problem doesn’t exist. We’re way past that now.

SeventhSense's avatar

Yes absolutely. And of course I’ve been called an ageist censoring Nazi but I still think there should be some indicator. I also would like to know about some of these senior citizen hippies too. Not that it changes my opinions but I want to know what generation I’m dealing with.

eponymoushipster's avatar

i think it should have a separate “AnswerBag” section, which would be about the same thing.

Pandora's avatar

It would make no difference. If a teen wants to be on an adult site and they are unsupervised then it will happen. And if a perv wants to go on a teen site, then that will happen as well. In a way, if they are among a good mix than the perv may find it difficult to find his prey because he’s not sure if he is talking to another adult (which isn’t his thing).

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