General Question

bellusfemina's avatar

My best friend all of the sudden dropped me out of her life for no apparent reason. What should I do?

Asked by bellusfemina (808points) March 22nd, 2010

We had been friends for over 10 years. We’ve had kind of an on- again, off-again friendship. (we’ve gotten mad at each other before and went a year without speaking) This time though, she deleted me off facebook (and blocked me), removed me from myspace, and won’t respond to my texts. I have no idea what I did or why she is mad. What should I do? I would like to save our friendship, but at the same time I’m kind of pissed she drops me for no apparent reason!

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14 Answers

chyna's avatar

Have you tried talking to her in person? It’s too easy to misread texts or emails.

Vunessuh's avatar

She apparently doesn’t respect you or the friendship or she would have the decency to talk to you in person about it. She sounds like a coward.
I wouldn’t be worried over trying to salvage that friendship. I understand you may want some type of closure or reason why, but I think it would be easier to move on and find friends who won’t treat you like shit.

Idknown's avatar

@Vunessuh agreed. There are too many people in this world to worry about those that won’t do you right.

Disc2021's avatar

This has happened with all of my best friends and each time it has we’ve made up only to become even better friends.

Give it time. Even the best of friends need a break.

Captain_Fantasy's avatar

Find out what the reason is. There IS a reason.

njnyjobs's avatar

The reason may be as apparent as the nose on your face. Think about your recent misunderstanding and ponder on it. If you truly care about the continuity of your friendship, you will need to flat out visit your friend in person with some kind of peace offering, for the opportunity to clear things up.

Kraigmo's avatar

I don’t understand friendships that have that kind of stress.

bob_'s avatar

Get a new friend.

CMaz's avatar

Sounds like you are in the “off again” mode.

slick44's avatar

Get a new friend.

wundayatta's avatar

You can’t talk to her until she is willing to talk. You can wait until she reaches out to you, or you can send her a text every other week or so, just to let her know you still like her. You’ve been apart a year before, so it could be a long time. I don’t think you have any other option other than waiting.

Is your friend depressed or does she have any other mental issues you know about? People who are depressed can make up that their friends hate them, and then behave as if that is the truth. That’s what I did when I was depressed, and I haven’t talked to some of them in more than two years.

Anyway, if she is depressed, I would definitely keep trying. To not try is to make her believe her idea that you don’t like her is true.

My last idea is that if you have people you know in common, you could ask one of them to try to find out what she’s thinking.

bob_'s avatar

@slick44 Beat you to it. Noob!

liminal's avatar

The truth is you may never know why. It could be about you. It could be about what she needs. It could be some weird combination of both. Right now it is important to understand what you need. Trying to figure her out, correct her, or understand where she is coming from may end up in exhaustion.

Decide who you want her to be to you and how you want to be with her should she return. It might even be best to simply close the door yourself and move forward.

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