Social Question

squidcake's avatar

What do you do if you're a cat lover and your S.O. is a dog lover?

Asked by squidcake (2636points) April 19th, 2010

I’m not currently in this situation, but I very well may be in the future.
I cannot stand dogs. I’ve had a horrible history with them (a couple of traumatic incidents, I need not say more).

So I’m all about cats. I can’t imagine a home for myself without a pet cat. But I’m worried that I’ll meet a wonderful man who’s perfect in every way…but loves dogs (and hates cats).

What would you do? Which person would have to sacrifice for the other?

(Don’t just say “get a fish.” Fish can’t cuddle.)

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28 Answers

WestRiverrat's avatar

Get a cat and a dog that like, or at least tolerate, each other. If one of you sacrifices for the other, it can lead to bad feelings.

Captain_Fantasy's avatar

What’s not to like about dogs?
I think anyone who spends time with a good dog will learn to love dogs.
I say give the dog a try if it’s a good dog. This could be good for you too.
You just cant be afraid to get licked occasionally. That going to happen.

anartist's avatar

Introduce your cat to his dog and hope they click

squidcake's avatar

Believe me, if there’s one person who couldn’t learn to love dogs, it’s me.

evandad's avatar

I’m sure the animals will learn to live with each other. You two, I’m not so sure.

chyna's avatar

Cats and dogs can live harmoniously together. But can you get over your fear of dogs? That is more important than worrying about whether the cat and dog can live together.

Trillian's avatar

I was not a dog person until I was with my previous SO. He had a great dog and I did a complete 180. I miss the dog more than I do him, and have visitation with said dog on occasion.

Dog's avatar

There are a lot of people out there who do not like dogs. (~I try not to take it personally)

If you find a significant other who has a dog try to keep an open mind and ask the same of them.

Keep in mind that some dogs are rather cat-like just like some cats are almost dog-like.
(I have a dalmatian dog that thinks she is a cat. She even brings me mice)

Captain_Fantasy's avatar

So what you gotta ask yourself is, “do I care about this person enough to attempt to connect with their pet?”.

Your_Majesty's avatar

It just happened to me long time ago with my former boyfriend(not an animal lover),all I need to do is his respect to my pet as he respect me. But honestly,I’m a cat person but I won’t say I don’t like dog since I like some breeds and hate some breeds. Just get his respect and ask him to not bring his dog to your house because you’re a dogphobia. You can bring your cat to his house if he’s not a catphobia but he only hates cat. People who hate cat can still learn to like cat(or at least respect them if they don’t like cat).

squidcake's avatar

I meant no offense. ;)
Yeah, I suppose an open mind is key.

Mariah's avatar

I like my cats more than I like most people. I can see this being a real problem for me, too. I’d never thought of this before! D:

I say that since yours is a legitimate phobia, he shouldn’t try to make you live with a dog. But I’m biased. :]

janbb's avatar

Just don’t bitch if he hurts your felines.

Jude's avatar

You do know that cats are the superior species. ;-)

OneMoreMinute's avatar

I have seen that when people show up in our lives that take us out of our comfort areas, it can turn out to be a gift in ways you might never have experienced, or even thought of.
When important people showed up in my life, and they have different pets, hobbies, interests, baggage, religion, friends…it has always turned out to be a blessing in disguise that I didn’t see at first.
A dog could be a catalyst in angel wings to heal your past fear of dog.

Trillian's avatar

@janbb Nice one! A bit catty, but furry ameowsing.

talljasperman's avatar

Have kids instead… they can cuddle

stranger_in_a_strange_land's avatar

My cats are indoor dwellers (persians). My business partners border collies are outdoor working dogs. They never meet. I’m not a dog lover either, but have no fear of them. A dog has a way of sensing fear and take advantage of that. I have always been able to walk up to even the fiercest of dogs and they seem to understand that I am the alpha-creature present. I make no threatening moves, but niether do I shy away from them. Dogs understand and respect this.

Trillian's avatar

@jjmah Hilarious. My cat always said that the dog was a lower life-form. I had a short video of her slapping a dog upside the head with both paws, but the phone broke, alas!

mcbealer's avatar

accept that a dog would be a dealbreaker and be up front in case your guy has future plans to adopt a dog

Dr_Lawrence's avatar

If you can learn to appreciate what you each value in your favourite pet, then your relationship will have a great chance to flourish.

Adopt a puppy and kitten from a good animal shelter and raise them together. Learn to love the dog and he will learn to love the cat. People fear or dislike what they truly do not understand. Overcome ignorance and irrational fear and you will discover love.

Ponderer983's avatar

Have no pets…simple as that…or get over your fears. Not all dogs are evil

kheredia's avatar

I guess I lucked out because both my boyfriend and I love our dogs. In your case I would suggest for both of you to compromise and meet somewhere in between. If you both attempt to at least tolerate each others pets and simply form some boundaries that you both respect. Like for example, he should be responsible for everything that has to do with his dog and you should be responsible for your cat. I don’t think you guys should rule out having pets altogether because that can lead to problems. I know I would be very unhappy if I was not able to have my dogs because my SO didn’t like them.

I agree with @Dr_Lawrence. It will be easier to learn to love your pets if you get a puppy and a kitten. Plus, it will be easier for the two to get along if they grow up together. Perhaps you guys should consider a small breed of dog so that you can slowly lose your fear.

netgrrl's avatar

I have a dog & two cats. I do not treat them like children, but they are family. I would not give them up for anyone.

I couldn’t get serious about someone who didn’t accept them. They live here – he’s visiting.

escapedone7's avatar

The cat and I are a package deal. I have no problem with guys that like dogs, as long as it isn’t an aggressive dog that will eat my cat. However, if the dude can’t accept my fur baby he AND the dog can sleep on the porch. My cat owns the bottom foot of the mattress. Any man that wants to get on board has to just deal, and it would help if he is short.

JeffVader's avatar

Easy….... you get a cat!

thriftymaid's avatar

I suppose you have both or neither. Why are you worrying about a situation in which you are not?

downtide's avatar

Get a cat AND a dog. Ideally, get both at the same time, so neither is intruding on the other’s territory.

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