Social Question

theckit's avatar

I'm going to get a divorce and according to our pre-nup she has to give back the engagement ring because I caught her cheating on me. Is it rude to give it to another girl. or should I just sell it?

Asked by theckit (18points) May 1st, 2010

I’m going to get a divorce and according to our pre-nup she has to give back the engagement ring because I caught her cheating on me. Is it rude to give it to another girl. or should I just sell it? It is a really unique ring so I would hate to sell it.



Observing members: 0 Composing members: 0

31 Answers

Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

Yeah, I wouldn’t want to wear another person’s engagement ring as my own – I feel energy and all that goes into these things. And besides, why would you want to give the same ring to a new love when your old relationship ended in divorce?

Allie's avatar

Are you sure there wouldn’t be too many associations with that ring? It’s up to you, I guess. From my perspective, I wouldn’t want a ring from my fiance that he picked out for someone else.

OreetCocker's avatar

Sell it, and spend the money on whatever you want :-)

tinyfaery's avatar

Do you really want it back? I never understand why someone would take back an engagement ring.

Allie's avatar

@tinyfaery Engagement rings can be expensive. Even if he doesn’t spend the money on another ring, the funds from the sale could buy a lot of other things.

Coloma's avatar

Why don’t you expand your consciousness and take the high road, let her keep it.

You intended it for her, it would be rather disingenious to re-gift it to another.

I vote for setting an example of a real man…it’s just a thing, let it go, with her.

Of course, it goes without saying that she then has the option of showing her true colors as well and honoring the pre-nup.

Who knows, you might surprise each other!

Then again….maybe not, probably why you are getting a divorce to begin with…lack of solidarity.

jaytkay's avatar

If it was made for her, let her keep it or sell it. I wouldn’t give it to a future fiance.

On second thought, sell it. I assume she would. She wouldn’t wear it, would she?

ParaParaYukiko's avatar

If I was the girl you intend to give the ring to, I definitely wouldn’t want it. There’s just something not right about accepting and wearing the ring that belonged to your partner’s ex.

If you don’t want to sell it, why take the ring back? I don’t really understand your thinking here.

Coloma's avatar

When I divorced I threw my ring into a pond! lol

Let it return to the source of mother earth. haha

My ex, on the other hand sold his.

Shows the disparity of integrity/consciousness in our relationship. lol

primigravida's avatar

Definitely tacky to give it to another woman, and if she ever found out that it belonged to your first wife…. watch out!

If you are selling it, you might check around some jewelry stores and see if any of them would take it from you and exchange it for a new ring. It’s worth a shot.

PandoraBoxx's avatar

You could have the stones reset. She cheated, but you’re already thinking about giving the ring to someone new when the divorce isn’t final yet?

theckit's avatar

I guess I’ll sell. The ring once belonged to my godfather’s fiancee. They ended up not getting married so I guess it is kind of bad luck anyway. I was really close to him (hence why he keft me a lot of his stuff) but I guess I have other things to remember him by.

Silhouette's avatar

If it was important enough to include in a prenup I say keep it. You give it to another woman you’ll have to list it on another prenup and you’ll have to start this whole thing over.

tinyfaery's avatar

It’s about money then? I still wouldn’t want it back. Seems petty. But whatever.

escapedone7's avatar

I dropped the ring my ex gave me into a salvation army donation pot. At the time I had waist long hair and I shaved my head. It was entirely symbolic. I didn’t want to bring anything from the past into my future.

I find it a little odd all it symbolizes to you is what you spent on it. Things take on much different meaning for me.

Trillian's avatar

Rude? I would have gone with “insensitive.” The only woman to whom you could give that ring now would be your daughter when she grows up.

Coloma's avatar


Excellent choice…why yes…thats perfect…DONATE it to help others….brilliant!

primigravida's avatar

ahhh, so wait, you didn’t even buy it for her, it was left to you. Well, I’m kind of surprised it doesn’t have a deeper meaning for you, since it was both something that symbolized your marriage (even if she cheated and the relationship ended, it still symbolizes the parts that WEREN’T bad), as well as a gift left to you by someone you cared about. You might think about hanging onto it and passing it on to a daughter you have in the future, or if you really want to get rid of it, donate it, like someone said. Pick a charity YOU love, so that you know that you’re using something (that may have bab memories for you) to do good for a cause you believe in.

Dr_C's avatar

Just sell it.

Some people will tell you the ring has bad karma. This may be true. My feeling is that there should be one ring for one person. If you bought this ring for her then it held a special meaning and in some way represented your bond with her. If you were to find someone else giving them that symbol would be an insult to whom you are giving it to and to what you felt when you bought it. No matter how the marriage ended you at one point loved this person and that deserves a certain amount of respect.

Just sell it and get another one.

FutureMemory's avatar

I would be forced to sell it.

I’m far too sentimental to keep something that would forever be tarnished in my eyes. Since it was left to you by someone you cared about and felt close to, I would think it only right to pay it forward by buying a new ring or other piece of jewelry for your daughter. She would cherish it always and with any luck it would become a family heirloom :)

Speaking of family heirlooms, I don’t get how people sell off stuff that was left to them by relatives that have passed. I understand if it’s not really anything important, such as furniture or other amenities that have a practical use, but anything that really meant something to the person that left it to me would be kept and passed down to my descendants.

chyna's avatar


liminal's avatar

sell it or donate it

mollypop51797's avatar

Not necessarily rude, but.. rather weird. I would sell it and get another one. If I were to wear an ex-wife’s ring on my finger… I would be a little creeped out.. or it could be a bad luck thing.. but that’s just me. I know saving money is important these days.. but when it comes to engagement rings.. and love.. saving is not an option (or at least in this case it isn’t)

slick44's avatar

Have it made into something else.

Dr_Lawrence's avatar

You should dismiss the idea of giving the ring to your new love. Sell the diamond for it’s value and the setting as scrap gold or platinum.

Start fresh with your gifts for your new love.

LuckyGuy's avatar

I’m with @slick44 . If it has a nice stone have it reset.

Narl's avatar

Definitely get the ring back and sell it, or take it to the ocean and throw it as far as you can.

loser's avatar

I would sell it. It could be cursed.

Supacase's avatar

Don’t sell it or give it to a new woman as an engagement ring. Keep the ring and ask her if she would like to have it. She might have the diamond reset into a necklace and another stone placed in the setting since you say it is so unique. You had it before the cheating wife, so there is more to its history than just her. I wouldn’t make it the symbol of your next marriage, but that doesn’t mean you can’t keep it. It doesn’t have to be an either/or situation.

thriftymaid's avatar

Sell it. No engagement ring would be better than one left over from a former spouse. I really want to say “are you nuts?”

Answer this question




to answer.
Your answer will be saved while you login or join.

Have a question? Ask Fluther!

What do you know more about?
Knowledge Networking @ Fluther