Social Question

le_inferno's avatar

What would you do in this situation?

Asked by le_inferno (6184points) May 6th, 2010

I was just sitting in my dorm when all of a sudden I heard my neighbor (who is pregnant FYI) get into a heated argument with her fiancee. Basically, he was angry because he found out her and another guy expressed via text message that they wanted to fuck each other (it wasn’t planned to occur, it was just that they are both attracted to each other). Of course, it’s understandable that her fiancee is upset about this. She admitted she was wrong but kept defending herself by saying “nothing happened, it ended there, i forgot about it, I only want to be with you” etc. Her fiancee reacted by screaming at her to shut the fuck up, calling her a fucking whore, to shut her fucking mouth.. some banging around… why the fuck would you do that, etc. She was crying, he was livid.. I was even a little worried he was going to hit her, but I don’t think he did. They both ended up leaving.

If you were in this situation, would you intervene? or would you just let it play out (Keep in mind you have no relationship with this girl)... When she returned, would you go comfort her or just leave her alone?

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22 Answers

Dr_C's avatar

Unless you have proof of physical abuse don’t intervene. It’s their business.

DrasticDreamer's avatar

I would call the police if I thought there was physical violence – from either of them – because it’s not just those two, it’s an unborn baby that’s involved.

And no, when she comes back, I’d just stay out of it. But if you ever think there’s violence involved, call the cops.

Dr_Lawrence's avatar

If she seemed really upset, I would offer to listen to her problems. If she appeared as if she had been physically attacked, I would call the police. If she seemed uninterested in discussing what happened, I would mind my own business.

Seaofclouds's avatar

I would have called the police if I felt one of them was being physically violent. Even pushing things around could turn into a bad situation with a pregnancy. Then let the police hash out the domestic dispute.

FireMadeFlesh's avatar

I would comfort the guy, and make sure he was okay.

JeffVader's avatar

Just keep well out of this one….. you’ve nothing invested in this situation & as an ‘outsider’ it would be very easy for them to turn on you.

Scooby's avatar

Leave well alone you could just end up being embroiled in it all, their life, their problem, she really needs to grow up, stupid girl, doing stuff like that. I’m not surprised her fella hit the roof!! You’re best off out of it IMO…… :-/

Cruiser's avatar

How on earth do you know these details about the text?? Bottom line is stay out of it unless you think the guy is hot as he is now back on the market.

stranger_in_a_strange_land's avatar

Unless there is physical violence, I’m staying out of this. None of my business.

PandoraBoxx's avatar

Stay out of other people’s business unless you see him hitting her, or she yells “Don’t hit me!” The problem with living in close proximity to others is that you are unwittingly privy to too much information.

wonderingwhy's avatar

It may be angry and heated but it’s non-violent and their, as in not my, problem. So long as it stays that way I’ve got better things to do than seek out other peoples drama.

stranger_in_a_strange_land's avatar

Another reason I prefer living in a rural area, my nearest neighbor is a half mile away.

Trillian's avatar

How are you going to be pregnant with one man’s baby and tell another that you want to “fuck” him? I’d call police if I thought there were physical violence, but otherwise my only reaction would be to curl my lip when I saw her outside.

lucillelucillelucille's avatar

If I wanted another headache,I’d get involved.

free_fallin's avatar

You know, this is exactly how people get killed. We are more likely to be murdered by someone who loves us than a stranger. I would have called the police as soon as I heard him screaming at her and the banging around. I’ve seen or heard of these things happening too often to do nothing. By the time you actually have proof of physical abuse the girl and possibly her baby could be injured or dead. We may not want to get involved but the benefit here outweighs the risk.

Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

I think I would go there and talk to her, yes.

wundayatta's avatar

Do you have dorm parents or residents or whatever they call the students trained to deal with things like this? If so, I would contact them.

thriftymaid's avatar

No intervention. It was a private conversation. If I heard screaming like someone was being physically harmed, I would call the police.

alive's avatar

in the dorms, you should have just called campus police in the moment (at the very least they would have gotten ‘cited’ for a noise complaint, at best, they could have been referred to the schools counseling center).

but i would say after the fact…. nothing you should do

Dr_Lawrence's avatar

I am pleased not to have heard many answers of “never get involved”. Most seem to acknowledge that where someone might be victimized by another’s violent behaviour, there is an obligation to involve the police. Yes in urban settings we may be exposed to more of other people’s lives that we want, but the sense of personal responsibility for others at risk seems to have increased over the years (since the Kitty Genovese (1964) case).

Silhouette's avatar

Pound on the wall and yell “Keep it down for Christs sake, I can hear every word you say. Girl what were you thinking, don’t tell someone you want to fuck them in writing when you are with another guy.” “Hey, she didn’t fuck him so what’s the big deal, haven’t you ever wanted to fuck someone other than…“Hey, girl, what’s your name?”

zenele's avatar

I second @Dr_Lawrence motion and emotion.

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