Social Question

shadowofdeath's avatar

Why is it that I love what i can't have?

Asked by shadowofdeath (437points) June 8th, 2010

recently i’ve noticed that everytime i fall in love (the term is over used and i bit dramatic i know) its always with someone i cant be with. for example the other day i found out that a friend of mine asked this girl out and she accepted. untill then i had no idea i even liked her, yet when i found out i was a bit jealous.

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7 Answers

SmashTheState's avatar

Because you don’t really want it.

“The big mistake that men make is that when they turn thirteen or fourteen, and all of a sudden they’ve reached puberty, they believe that they like women. Actually, you’re just horny. It doesn’t mean that you like women any more at twenty-one than you did at ten.”Jules Feiffer

Merriment's avatar

Maybe what you are really in love with is the feeling of wanting to be in love.

Maybe what you are jealous of is not the girl (who didn’t even make your radar) but instead just the relationship itself.

If you spent some time looking at why it is that you seem to want love but avoid a relationship of your own, you may get close to the answer you seek.

Randy's avatar

Because you’re human. To be human is to know that the grass is always greener and to covet what you cannot have. Dong so means you fit in with the rest of the entire human race. Congrats… or something like that.

theichibun's avatar

Since you can’t have it, you’re safe from rejection. You already know what the answer is. Likewise, if something happens and you do end up getting it then it’s super happy bonus time.

perspicacious's avatar

People will say it is human nature. I’m not sure I agree with that.

DarlingRhadamanthus's avatar

I think what you shared….is all that “macho posturing” and territorial stuff. He likes her and wants to be with her….and now, you think…“Hey, I want her, too!” It’s what drives Wall Street and advertising….see that Porsche….you WANT that Porsche don’t you? That guy in the commercial is driving that Porsche…you should too!

Forgive the objectification of a woman in this case…but that’s what it sounded like. It’s primal male stuff…roosters strutting…to get the same hen. Funnily enough it’s for the little speckled hen that the rooster didn’t even notice in the farmyard UNTIL the other rooster showed up. :)

shadowofdeath's avatar

most wonderful answers, thanks

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