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JoanneChau's avatar

How can you keep a long distance relationship without expecting too much from each other?

Asked by JoanneChau (8points) June 20th, 2010

I will be going off to college soon, but my boyfriend and I will be attending different colleges that are far from each other. I’m not sure how to keep a long distance relationship.

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7 Answers

veganforlife420's avatar

for me i can’t have a long distance relationship with someone
cuz i would need them there with me

but the best way i know for a long distance relationship to work is to use Skype video/talk.(and its free)

James_Mal's avatar

I don’t think that they are very functional relationships personally. More of an attachment that you’re a little afraid to let go of. If you’re going to college, and he is doing the same, I’m sure you two will find others on campus and physically there. Hard to go through, but ultimately I think it’ll be much more rewarding of a relationship…

Draconess25's avatar

Just remind yourselves that you’ll see each other eventually. If you give up when the 1st trial comes along, you’ll never learn how to keep a lasting relationship.

Seaofclouds's avatar

Communication is key in all relationships, but even more so in long distance ones. It will take some time to get use to being away from each other. The best thing to do is keep busy (which won’t be hard with starting college). You can keep in touch with phone calls, e-mails, text messages, and the different internet options (Skype, Yahoo, AIM, MSN). I know Skype, Yahoo, and MSN have video and voice options, but I’m not sure about AIM. You can also write letters and send care packages to each other. It’s important to be honest with each other about how you are feeling about the relationship. I think it’s also important to set up “date nights” periodically as well. You can eat dinner together, watch a movie together, or anything else you want to do. The important part about it is that you are planning specific time to be with each other.

LeotCol's avatar

I’ll apologise before hand if offend you, but I’m not sure how you can have a real relationship without expecting much off each other. I would say that is a core part of any relationship, you have to give to each other… without that then I don’t see how it can work.

Alleycat8782's avatar

I have been through long distance relationships before and I believe it really depends on the people in the relationship. My first relationship was pretty much long distance and I could tell that it was very one-sided. The guy wasn’t giving much of a effort and it just seemed like he did give up. Now I am in one where the guy actually cares about me and gives an effort.
However now that you two are entering college there is a period where either you or him will change. One of you may feel like this relationship is not worth it to you. Like I said before it just depends on the person. It also depends on how long you two have been dating. If you just started dating this guy it may be hard for you two to make this work because you haven’t built that strong bond yet.
Now @Seaofclouds nailed many of the things you can do to make it work. Communication is key and I would do that by talking every night or text messaging, or the other video options that were mentioned, whatever works for you two. You need to trust the other person because it will never work out if you question who he is with or etc every night. Another thing that was mentioned was keep yourself busy. Hang out with friends, go shopping, get involved in campus, exercise, do many things because it will keep your mind on something other than the fact that you miss your boyfriend.
Long distance relationships take a lot of work, but if you two are commited and willing to try it for love then go for it. When you see each other after being away from each other for so long, it makes it that much more worth it!

DarlingRhadamanthus's avatar

I answered something quite similar a few days ago.

First of all, if you doubt his faithfulness….you can forget about attempting to keep close tabs.. If he is faithful then you have to still work at it. Make dates to check in with each other every night on Skype to say goodnight. Send cards to each other. Try to go to each other’s schools after mid-terms if possible and definitely spend your holidays together.

It’s a lot easier to keep in contact now…with texts, e-mails and Skype. It’s not like it was in the dark ages….of having to wait in a queue for the one phone in the hallway. And with a cell phone, you don’t have to worry if he is out with someone else as you can call him.

Keep in touch electronically….and promise each other that the moment_one of you begins to doubt it will work out…that you _will talk to each other…that’s the most important thing.

Best of luck and best of luck with your new adventure in college!

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