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Blackberry's avatar

What are the pros and cons of settling down v. being a single bachelor for the rest of ones life?

Asked by Blackberry (31042points) June 27th, 2010

So yeah…...Can you give me some good, detailed pros and cons about a man living the life of a family man vs. single man?

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22 Answers

Dr_Lawrence's avatar

We married men live longer than our single brothers.
We have the opportunity and challenge of making the world better through the children we help to raise.
We can truly love our partners and have our lives enriched by their love and trust.

We must overcome selfishness and forgo meaningless sexual encounters.
We have to balance our children’s need to be heard with of believe that we must be obeyed.
We must learn that listening is so much more important than offering solutions.

YARNLADY's avatar

In the real world, except for the statistical differences as stated above, there are none.

Draconess25's avatar

If you stay single, you’ll have more freedom.
But being with multiple partners carries a higher risk of STDs.

A family is a burden.
But you’ll have someone to love & be loved by for the rest of your life.

Your_Majesty's avatar

-Financial problem. Most/some new engaged family tend to settle down with little financial preparation.
-Family issue. Now you get extra stress from your own family member.
-Lack of freedom. With your commitment with your SO you’ll never experience the same freedom you used to experience.
-Lack of time. Your family will drain your entire personal time.
-Well I’m not sure if living in family life will make you live longer(I believe this is just a hypothesis. There are other more realistic fact to lengthen your life) but the stress caused by your family life could also shorten your life span.

-If you really want your own offspring to carry your own gene and transfer it to other people.
-Someone to works with you with minimum salary(often happen in poor countries).

Jabe73's avatar

This may seem like a shallow response but I think it all depends on the person.

Coloma's avatar

I go deeper than all the basic ‘pros’ & ‘cons’....I go into the ultimate truth of life…everything is TEMPORARY!

Things are ever changing…it is the very nature of life.

Do what feels right in the moment and fear not.

There are no gaurantees be it relationship, job, home, financial stability….

Things are ever changing…you must learn to live with uncertainty.

Life is not about pros and cons…it is about jumping off cliffs and hoping you’ll land on your feet!

No one can advise you….your cliffs are your cliffs.

But…the only thing worse than cliff jumping is fence sitting.

YARNLADY's avatar

@Coloma Good Answer – What is true or valid today might not be the same as next year or 10 years from now.

Jeruba's avatar

I can’t imagine basing such a decision on a list of pros and cons. Big life decisions can’t be made with a balance sheet. Are you actually trying to decide this, or is the question academic?

partyparty's avatar

There are ‘pros and cons’ with both situations.
It really doesn’t matter whether you are single or married, it has to be right for you.

Blackberry's avatar

@Jeruba It’s just for thought provocation. Good answers everyone.

BoBo1946's avatar

@Blackberry I’ve been on both “sides of the fence!” Depends on the person. Some people are better off never marrying. Think each person has to make that individual decision based on their own needs and personality. Really don’t think a list of pros and cons, as most people know those, can be a part of a person’s decision.

cookieman's avatar

I just finished watching Up In The Air with George Clooney.

Great line that applies to this question, “Life is better with company. Everyone could use a co-pilot.” Sadly, he figures this out too late.

Now, whether or not that means specifically “marriage” is up to you.

DarlingRhadamanthus's avatar

Life is better with a co-pilot…but that co-pilot can be a close friend (of either sex), a brother or sister…a group of friends…even a dog.

I like my dog.

Scooby's avatar

Speaking for myself only here, as a single guy, I just really like being able to do, what I want to do, when I want to do it, if I choose to watch TV, cook a favourite meal, go for a ten mile hike, clean my rifles at the dining table, use a towel to clean up my car, leave a mess for the next day, fill the fridge with beer instead of health food, invite a gang of friends over, without having to seek approval in the first place! :-/

Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

@Dr_Lawrence One doesn’t have to be married to raise children.
@Draconess25 Having children doesn’t guarantee you’ll be loved by them forever.
@Doctor_D A family drains your entire time only if you let them – up to you to ensure you have time.
@Blackberry When the right person comes along, you won’t have to think about any of this but let me tell you this…I believe there are only 3 things worth living for in this life: justice, kids and love.

Dr_Lawrence's avatar

@Simone_De_Beauvoir I had heard that! Most single men don’t include child rearing as a benefit of that way to live. Unfortunately, still far too few men who have claimed to have settled down in a relationship with a woman actively involve themselves in the minute to minute aspects of parenting. “Quality time” at the end of a work day is not all it takes to raise a child. Any man who “babysits” his children when the mother is away does not get it.

Please allow me to replace the word married for settled down in a committed, stable relationship with a woman. It makes for a pretty clumsy sentence, however.

jazmina88's avatar

freedom, not fighting over the blanket, the toilet seat is down

can you really trust anyone with your life and heart??

Dr_Lawrence's avatar

@jazmina88 For the first time in my life, I can and do trust my beloved with my life and heart. She is sometimes more caring of both than I am. Without her, I might allow myself to be abused or mistreated than is good for me.

There is no more generous wish I could offer than that you should have the opportunity to experience such love and caring.

jazmina88's avatar

@Dr Lawrence i did experience that love and caring in a couple of relationships, but because of life, I dont trust men completely.Not all have good hearts.

Dr_Lawrence's avatar

@jazmina88 Yes, you do have to be careful and patient to get to know someone well before you trust someone too much. My wife was very tentative at first for the same reason. I was willing to hang in there and give her all the time she needed.

I think she likes me now~!

mattbrowne's avatar

Shorter lifespans for single bachelors.

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