General Question

zenele's avatar

Someone, not a lover or member of your family, says they love you. Your response is...?

Asked by zenele (8242points) July 8th, 2010

Someone lovely, but not a close friend, told me they “love me.” I felt a little funny, flattered and confused. Nice, but surprised.

How do you react in this situation?

How do you use the word love – both here, and in “real life” – though for me I get them mixed up at times.

Guys: do you say I love you to other guys?

(I love astrochuck, and dp and a whole buncha guys here – there I’ve said it.)

Jeruba is something else entirely.

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39 Answers

MrItty's avatar

Is the person a good friend? Then most likely “Aww, thanks, love you too buddy!”. If not, “uhm…. what?” or “who the hell are you?!”

MrItty's avatar

(and yes, I have one or two male friends with whom “Love ya’, buddy” is not an entirely uncommon phrase to exchange)

Jude's avatar

Hee hee. Oh, Jeruba <<sigh>>

Close friends of mine say it all of the time. “Love you”. I reciprocate.’

dpworkin's avatar

It ranges from “Love you, too.” to “Get the fuck out.”

Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

Take a number. LOL, nah
I’d say ‘no, you don’t really’

marinelife's avatar

It is a compliment, and an expression of feeling. I would treasure it.

If it was reciprocated, I would say so. Otherwise, I would just say thank you.

rebbel's avatar

My Greek friend, Giorgos, told me he loved me some time ago and i was a bit confused and slightly embarrassed for a split second, but then told him i felt the same for him (and his girlfriend).
I smiled from ear to ear.
He’s my soulmate and we are almost identical in behaviour, thoughts, philosophy, and looks.
It’s almost spooky!

DarlingRhadamanthus's avatar

1. If I don’t know them well….I smile and nod.
2. If I know them a bit better…I smile and say, “Why, thank you!”
3. If I know them well enough to be a bit close to them, I’ll say,” Love you.” (abbreviated.)
4. If I am close to them and truly do love them then it’s: “Well, I love you, too!”

zenele's avatar

It wasn’t a guy and it was online. Edit: @marina – I’ve only seen that on TV and films – do people really say thank you to “I love you?”!!!

chyna's avatar

On line close friends I’ll say luv ya, so as not to make them uncomfortable with the correct spelling, therefore a more serious meaning of love.

zenele's avatar


I say I love you – to my kids and cousins – upon departure or leaving them for any length of time – sorta to ward off the evil eye by leaving on a high and loving note.. Loveyou. It’s verbal, spelling isn’t the issue. But I know what you mean, luv.

Luv you jellies.

Jude's avatar

I’ve got lots of luv for dpworkin.

poofandmook's avatar

@zenele: I’m mad at you. He is not an acceptable Federation “captain”.

I think it really all depends on the tone of voice/delivery even more than who it is.

zenele's avatar

@poofandmook What!!!??? How do you mean??? Sisko is wonderful.

sliceswiththings's avatar

Shades of Wayne’s World, anyone?

chyna's avatar

@poofandmook How can you determine the tone of voice on the internet?

BoBo1946's avatar


Scooby's avatar

Love is not a word I bandy about with, I love being around some of my male friends but I only love them for their company, I don’t tell them I love them though, I’d most likely be punched in the mouth, we get along & that’s about as much as there is to it…. I do tell my girl friends I love them & that’s about as much as I’ll disclose… needless to say I love my Mother & I tell her this every time I visit …. ;-)
If someone but not a close friend, told me they “love me.” Male, I’d be flattered but put them straight as to my straightness straightaway…:-/
Female, then I’d be equally flattered then intrigued then ask her out to lunch to find out more!! :-/ What?

zenele's avatar

Chyna loves Bobo?

chyna's avatar

This is getting deep.

BoBo1946's avatar

lmao….........too deep…going to mow da yard!

Aster's avatar

If I have Any feelings whatsoever of love or strong affection for them too I say , “I love you, too.” If I have Zero feelings I say, “thank you!” Or, “thank you; you are so sweet.”

UScitizen's avatar

I say thank you, and continue about my business.

chyna's avatar

@zenele Keep it up buddy…

CaptainHarley's avatar

Anyone tells me “I love you,” I always answer with, “I love you too. I’ll keep you in my prayers.” : ))

I tell both of my grown sons and most of my closest male friends that I love them.

As most people over the age of 16 know, there are all different sorts of love, with passionate love being only one of many. As most people get older, affectionate, mature love becomes more important and passionate, sexual love becomes less important. And that’s a net gain, not a loss!

Nullo's avatar

Incredulity. It’s happened a handful of times (most awkwardly, when I once transfered into a rural school), and I am routinely flabbergasted.

breathe's avatar

@CaptainHarley Exactly. There is so much hatred in this world, I will take an “I love you” anytime. However if it is a serious, I love you, that I don’t feel the same kind of love, I would say, ” I kinda like you too, hehe” with a joking mannerism. It lets everyone off the hook.

jazmina88's avatar

Love… it the joy of knowing a soul that can make you laugh?/ or knowing what kind of question they would ask??

I, for one, truly have deep feelings and passion, not so much sexual, all the time, but knowing there is a person with a heart and mind and we all need to be nurtured, like the Celestine Prophecies, or such. maybe we are looking for the embracing closeness when we are too fearful to get really too close to people.

zenele's avatar

I loved the Celestine prophecies – has it been twenty years or so? Where does the time go?

aprilsimnel's avatar

“Aw, gee! Really? Thanks!”

Kraigmo's avatar

I like hearing it. Unless the person’s drunk in which case I don’t pay no heed to it.

breathe's avatar

When a person says I love you, there is a body language that accompanies it. There is a tone of voice. So I think we can figure out what kind of I love you it is and respond accordingly. Just like when I seriously don’t like somebody, I don’t need to say anything. They can tell by my body language. I become rigid and tend to start moving away, with very little to say if anything.
No sense in deliberately hurting someone just because you don’t like them. On the other hand if you like or love someone, I think we should all tell them, there is not enough of it.

Berserker's avatar

If I felt nothing else but annoyance, I’d tell them to turn around and find someone they could be happy with.

zenele's avatar

“I don’t pay no heed to it.” Double negative.

I don’t pay any heed to it; I pay no heed to it.


CaptainHarley's avatar

I’d just like to add something on this topic. Never underestimate the power of love to change and motivate people, even to physically and emotionally heal them. I’m very serious about this. I’ve seen this happen many times over the course of my life. Telling someone you love them… and meaning it… can, quite literally, save their life.

Jabe73's avatar

If she’s cute I wouldn’t mind it (just kidding, maybe). I’ve had some guys tell me that (which caught me off guard a bit), perhaps its just better to say something like “I appreciate you” or “you really make my day” or something like that, same even for a woman with me as well. I guess it depends on their relationship to you in general and the circumstances.

@CaptainHarley I can definitely agree with everything you said however.

Andreas's avatar

All I can add @zenele is we have such a warped and inhibited view of love that it’s so often confused with sex: hence people’s reluctance to accept genuine expressions of love from anybody, male or female, without assuming there’s a sexual part to it. I must add: I agree with @CaptainHarley. GA, Captain.

zenele's avatar

It’s a fucked up world we live in when a simple “I love you” becomes a fluther discussion.
I take the blame, of course.

But I am not EQ enhanced enough to distinguish between the various “I love you’s” – especially when it’s online.

Berserker's avatar

@zenele What you said reminded me of something from high school. It’s not really relevant to the thread, but it kinda is, at least from your post, so I thought I’d share.

In history we studied the Holocaust, and on one day the school invited two Jewish dudes who survived the Holocaust by hiding out in a building for years and all. They shared their experiences and all, and also, I guess, wanted to illuminate some points about aggression and hatred, and they tried a test with us. One of them goes, alright, look at the person besides you and tell them you hate them. So we all turn around to the person sitting besides us and all go mental, saying we hated each other and making jokes and laughing and shit.
Then after he goes, now turn to the same person and tell them you love them. It was all awkward, and nobody really did it, although there were some few jokes…then he says, see how easy it is to tell someone you hate them, but saying that you love them isn’t?

To this day I’m not too sure exactly what he was hinting at, but I think I’ll always remember that haha.

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