Q: How many doors does a chicken coop have?
A: Two. If it had four, it’d be a chicken sedan.
A mushroom walks into a bar. The bartender sees him and says, “Hey, get out of here! We don’t serve your kind here!” The mushroom says, “Why not? I’m a fungi.”
Two atoms are walking down the street and bump into each other.
One electron says, “I’m terribly sorry! Are you all right?”
“No, I’ve lost an electron!” wails the other atom.
“Are you sure?” asks the first.
“I’m positive!”
A proton and neutron go into a bar. The proton orders a beer, pulls out his wallet and pays for it. The neutron also orders a beer but when he starts taking money out of his wallet the bartender stops him and says, “For you, there’s no charge.”
The bartender is cleaning up glasses when one of the patrons comes up to him.
“Is it okay if I use your restroom? I use salts.”
The bartender shrugs and says, “Sure.”
Later, when the bar is closed, the bartender goes into the bathroom to do the cleaning. He walks into the mens room and see shit all over the place. All over the floor, the walls, even the ceilings.
The next night the same guy goes into the bar. The bartender stops him and says, “Hey, buddy, what the hell kind of salts are you using?”
“Somersaults.”
Jerry just bought his Ferrari. He was feeling pretty darned happy with himself as he sat at a stop light.
An old man putters up on a scooter next to him and whistles. “That’s a nice car you got there, son!” he exclaims. “Is she fast?”
Jerry snorts. “For $190,000 it better be fast!”
The old man asks Jerry if he can take a quick peek at the interior and Jerry agrees. The oldster leans over door taking in the leather interior, the real wood, and everything else that makes a Ferrari a luxury sports car.
When the light turned green Jerry figured he’d show the old man just how fast his new car was. He nailed the accelerator, tires smoked, rubber burned, the V12 screamed in ecstasy.
At around 120MPH he looked in the rear view mirror and saw a dot. And the dot got bigger and bigger. “No way, ” thought Jerry, “that anything else nearby was catching up to his Ferrari!”
But in a moment it was clear, something was. The old man on the scooter. Not only did he catch up to Jerry, but he flew past him!
Amazed, Jerry drove on and saw a dot in the distance. And it got bigger and bigger. “Holy shit!” yelled Jerry. “That old fool is making a second pass!” Sure enough, the old man and his scooter goes screaming past him in the other direction.
When Jerry saw the old man coming up on him again he couldn’t take it anymore and slammed on the brakes. The old man slammed into the back of his Ferrari.
Jerry jumped out of the car and ran to the old man. “You crazy old man! Are you all right? Can I do anything for you?”
“Yeah,” gasped the old guy. “You can unhook my suspender from your side mirror.”
Composing members:
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Composing members:
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