Social Question

pitchtheview's avatar

If you are gay, how and when did you know you were gay?

Asked by pitchtheview (170points) July 13th, 2010

Some people say they just knew since birth, and some say it was due to a traumatic event. I’m just curious to what your answers are.

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11 Answers

Jude's avatar

I figured it out when I was 16 (I had a name for it). Before that, I had crushes on girls/teachers since SK (senior kindergarten).

Hawaii_Jake's avatar

I knew I was different by the time I was 9, but I didn’t have a name for it. I guess I knew the name for it when I was in high school. I chose to live in the closet for many years. Now I live completely out and feel much better for it.

DominicX's avatar

I knew since at least age 11. It was around this time when I had sex ed and realized that at the time the other boys thought the girls were cute and pretty and such, I was focusing on how cute some of the other boys were. Before that, I remember liking a boy when I was 9 years old, but I had no idea about sex or what “gay” was. Even longer before that when I was a little kid I used to like “girly” things and would even pretend I was a girl sometimes. Not sure if that’s connected, but it certainly put the possibility of me being gay in my parents’ minds. Age 11 was when I really started to associate the word “gay” with myself. It only became more clear as the years went on.

wmspotts's avatar

age 11. Although I’ve always felt an attraction towards the same sex. Even as a little kid I had “crushes” on guys instead of girls, even in elementary school. As a gay guy I’m 100% convinces that sexual orientation is completely biological.

downtide's avatar

I didn’t figure out that I was bisexual until I was about 18. Before that, I couldn’t decide if I was straight or gay. I knew I was transgendered (or at least, I knew that I was supposed to be a boy) when I was about 6.

Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

What traumatic event? Come the hell on.

wilma's avatar

This is why I love fluther!
I get to read honest answers from my fluther friends and find out about things that I don’t know about. I have never had the opportunity (If that is the right word?) to ask this question of any of the gay people that I know in person. Thank you for enlightening me.

pitchtheview's avatar

Hey, I dunno, my friend turned lesbian because she got sexually abused by someone when she was young. I’ve heard it happening before.

Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

@pitchtheview Of all queer people, people no longer sleeping with the sex or gender that their abuser was make up a tiny proportion, in my opinion. And from what I understand, choosing to not sleep with a sex or a gender because you were traumatized doesn’t mean that they are no longer the sexuality they used to be because they are still attracted to the gender that abused them but just don’t sleep with them.

Response moderated (Writing Standards)
ncash02's avatar

I had my first kiss with a boy when I was in Kindergarten.

The people in my life, my peers, seemed to know way before I did. I would get teased by the guys at school, but I never thought I was gay. I started to realize I was gay around the age of 11. I was sure by the age of 13. I had my first experience at 15. I came out shortly after.

I don’t know if that first kiss had an impact on my as I grew into an adult. My mom says she knew since I was about 6. Hope this helps =)

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