Social Question

talljasperman's avatar

How do you handle adult bully's in your adult life?

Asked by talljasperman (21820points) August 7th, 2010

like people who harass you and don’t respect you… including bosses, authority figures, religious nuts, and people on the street…

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31 Answers

RealEyesRealizeRealLies's avatar

Smile and ignore them. They’re looking for attention. Giving it only gets them off.

mollypop51797's avatar

I’m not the type to start a fight, or to call attention to something and/or someone. If it’s someone who is annoying for tehir beliefs, then I’m not going to say anything to them because it’s something they support, and I have no right to tell them what or what not to believe in. It’s their decision completely. If it’s someone on the street, they’re not worth making a fuss about. And if it’s someone in my work office I’ll throw ‘em under the bus to someone with more authority. If it’s my family, which I guess you wouldn’t consider a bully, but either way, I’ll annoy the hell out of them because they’ll always be my family at the end of the day

chyna's avatar

I steer clear of them if at all possible. I’m non-confrontational, but not a wimp, so if pushed too far, I will bully right back, so if it is in the work environment, that is not the ideal answer.

SundayKittens's avatar

I’m with @RealEyesRealizeRealLies. Ignoring someone takes away their power…usually.

lillycoyote's avatar

If you’re up to it, look the person right in the eyes, with a steely, slightly threatening and certainly intimidating glance and tell them that you absolutely will not tolerate being spoken to that way; you will absolutely not tolerate being treated that way. Most bullies will scurry away, with their tails between their legs, after that. Then you will be someone who is not to be messed with; try it, it’s very empowering. :-)

aprilsimnel's avatar

Bullies who I have to deal with at work? I call them out. I learned to carry myself differently after being bullied by a really high-up guy on my college internship. I just said straight out to the man that if he had to come to our bullpen to pick on interns, then there’s a problem he needed to deal with.

Proselytizers I can’t be arsed with, either. “I’m seeking out my own soul’‘s salvation, and my faith is not up for discussion.”

Other people, like on the street? I ignore them. You learn to do that in a city as large as mine, or else you’d be accosted all day.

curiosity_killed_da_kat's avatar

maybe its just me but i dont stand for it i put them in their place and they think twice about saying or doing something slick

RealEyesRealizeRealLies's avatar

Yikes! @lillycoyote… I certainly hope to n-e-v-e-r get your “steely, slightly threatening and certainly intimidating glance” pointed at me… unless of course, it’s blue steel.

@chyna “if pushed too far, I will bully right back”

don’t threaten me with a good time

chyna's avatar

@RealEyesRealizeRealLies I’ll kick your butt!

RealEyesRealizeRealLies's avatar

now yer t-t-t-talkin’

filmfann's avatar

The biggest bully I have had to deal with was my famous “Boss From Hell”. Dealing with him was very difficult, and I still have nightmares regarding it, but I watched him fall.
If this is a boss at work, think long and hard about going up against him. Mine raped a co-worker, tried to kill another, and tried to get me fired. This can be arduous. Be sure there is no other way around it.

lillycoyote's avatar

@RealEyesRealizeRealLies Don’t worry realeyes, you’re not a bully; you will never have any reason to see my patented steely, threatening, intimidating glance, but just in case, don’t ever doubt, even for a minute, that it won’t stop you in your tracks. You have been warned!

chyna's avatar

@filmfann I hope the jerk is in jail by now.

Cruiser's avatar

Adult bullying is really a form of flattery…they obviously see something in you they are actually jealous of or intimidated by. Just let them fester in their inner frustrations of their own inadequacies and go about your business knowing your calm demeanor is driving them mad.

Push comes to shove…most all bullies hate pain! What is boils down to is they are big sissies and one good pop in the kisser is all it takes to send even the biggest bully running home to mommy!

superneil21's avatar

kick em in the nuts lol

RealEyesRealizeRealLies's avatar

@lillycoyote Just hearing about it stops me in my tracks. “Blue Steel” gives me BLUE BALLS

lillycoyote's avatar

@RealEyesRealizeRealLies Please, watch this educational video, then take a cold shower. You’ll be fine. :-)

RealEyesRealizeRealLies's avatar

cold shower?!?!?... alone?

blue bally’s cute, and really got it goin’ on

lillycoyote's avatar

@RealEyesRealizeRealLies Don’t you have a wife or a girlfriend or something? If not, please transmit your GPS coordinates immediately; I will make my way to your shower ASAP. :-)

RealEyesRealizeRealLies's avatar

Shouldn’t it have been ;O ?

hahahahahahahahahaha… transmitting now

but you can’t tell any of my wives or my girlfriends…k

Afos22's avatar

I would laugh in their face. You can’t say anything to me that would hurt me. And if this “bully” would get physical, pressing charges puts them in their place.

Pied_Pfeffer's avatar

Each situation is treated differently. Do you have any examples that you’d like to share, or is this a hypothetical question?

perspicacious's avatar

There aren’t any in my life.

talljasperman's avatar

@Pied_Pfeffer being harassed to go to church when I’m not religious…a false friend calling cops on me for things I didn’t do; and getting the university community after me to such a point that I have a nervous breakdown and fail out of university… an ex-employee’s father-in-law saying that i’m not disabled (when I’m registered as such)and telling other people that I’m lazy and should get a job…ect…ect…right know I just stay indoors and sleep when these assholes people are active and sometimes I just don’t go outdoors at all… and I fluther for social contact….I was only diagnosed with an illness because I had resentment to towards all those assholes people that I told someone that I wanted them all not to live anymore.

downtide's avatar

At work, report their behaviour to their superior. Outside of work, ignore and avoid them.

Frenchfry's avatar

I also say ignore, they get off on it, like gets them high. Makes them feel superoir to belittle someone.It is wrong, but they don’t see it.

Pied_Pfeffer's avatar

Dear talljasperman, thank you for providing examples of some of the situations you have been in. My heart goes out to you. I urge you to seek help in learning how to address the resentment and anger. A good therapist can also coach you on how to effectively handle situations for when you feel you are being harassed, be it either by confrontation or walking away and shaking it off. And please keep us posted. We want you well, both physically and emotionally.

Artistree's avatar

I get m big brother to beat them up.

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