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saraSKELLINGTON's avatar

Im scared to be by myself, Whats my problem?

Asked by saraSKELLINGTON (160points) August 9th, 2010

Whenever Im alone in my house, I hate it and I cant stand it. We have a 3 story house and I live on the top floor. Whenever my mom and grandmother are gone, I stay locked up in my room afraid to go down to the lower floors. Whenever someone walks on the floor below me, it makes a BOOM BOOM noise every time someone steps. Sometimes I hear this and it really frightens me. We just moved a few months ago from a trailer. I was never really scared in the trailer because I could see every room in the house by just looking straight down the hall. In this house, I cant see every room and that scares me, because I dont know whats in it. I know this might seem a bit ridiculous because I am 18 years old, but I just cant be alone. I guess its a fear that I have. Is this normal?

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11 Answers

occ's avatar

If you’ve spent your whole life in a smaller space and have just moved into a house with multiple rooms, I think it’s normal to feel a bit uncomfortable as you adjust to any new living situation. However, if you are feeling overwhelmed by fear, or feel it is negatively impacting your life, you should speak with a professional counselor. A professional counselor/therapist may be able to give you some helpful tips for dealing with your fear, or can help you figure out if there are deeper issues that need to be addressed (the situation may not be about the physical space – there may be other experiences in your past that are making you feel this way). If you are 18, are you still in high school? If so, is this something you could address by talking with a counselor at school? that is usually a good free way to get some professional guidance.

Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

I do think there is a problem, you shouldn’t have to suffer like this in your own home. I would suggest therapy.

daytonamisticrip's avatar

I used to be that way, its a head game. tell yourself your not afraid and just keep walking tall

Pied_Pfeffer's avatar

Have you talked to your mother and grandmother about this? That seems like the place to start. When I lived with my parents, we used to “Yoo-hoo!” when walking in the door. It was, I suppose, our code for letting whoever was inside know that someone was there and that it was a family member.

It also might be better not shutting yourself off on the 3rd floor. Personally, I’d camp out on the main floor where I can keep an eye on the entrance until I got more comfortable in the new surroundings.

CaptainHarley's avatar

Unfamiliar surroundings can have that effect on people. Give yourself a few weeks or months to get use to it. If you can’t, you might want to talk to someone about it.

Jeruba's avatar

You can do this to yourself in your head. Sure, there could be a real problem requiring therapy, but first just try changing your attitude.

About ten years ago my family went and stayed in a cottage in the mountains surrounded by redwoods. We had a great time, and I loved the place. At the end of our week, the kids had to go back to school, but I had the time off and wanted to stay a few more days, so my husband left with the boys. I got all freaky alone that night and couldn’t get home fast enough the next day, even though I’d paid for the rest of the week.

A few years ago I rented another cottage—same mountains, same woods—and went down with my husband. He left the next day, and I stayed there alone happily for six weeks while working on some writing. Never a creepy sensation, never a nervous night.

What was the difference? It was in my head. All of it.

P.S. In my teens I had the third floor of the house all to myself and adored my private loft at the top of the world. Fix it up to please yourself and see if you don’t feel like the queen of your domain.

Your_Majesty's avatar

You can get used to it,it’s your new home anyway. I can suggest you to lighten darker rooms in your house since alone and darkness will gradually increase your fear of being left alone. You can also have some pet in your house,another creature to accompany you if you feel insecure alone at home.

BarnacleBill's avatar

We live in a three story house, and part of the problem is that because the stairs make so many turns, the third floor doesn’t get the full benefit of the sound, so it’s hard to distinguish what it is that’s going on downstairs. My daughters were constantly freaked out being on the 3rd floor when no one was home. We would leave the stereo playing on the first floor, plenty of lights on, and made sure the doors are locked.

YARNLADY's avatar

You might consider installing an intercom at the front door, or even a surveillance camera for your own well being.

Talk to your family members about how you feel, perhaps they will have some ideas. There’s nothing to be embarrassed about, many people feel uneasy in an empty house.

Maybe get a dog?

MissA's avatar

You’ve received a lot of good advice thus far. I would add that if you can become interested in cooking or other things that would allow for becoming attached to your new house, that would make it feel like home.

By being occupied with other things, you don’t have time to fixate upon those things that frighten you.

You really might consider adopting a pet friend from your local shelter. They will fill a part of your heart so full that you won’t have any room for fear. You will fill a part of their heart that they’ve been longing to share.

I wish you the best…and, I do hope you let us know how it goes.

saraSKELLINGTON's avatar

@YARNLADY I dont necessarily like dogs, but I do have two bunnies that keep me company.

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