General Question

tuntunblcu's avatar

Why don't I have boyfriend?

Asked by tuntunblcu (13points) August 10th, 2010

i am 24, and sometimes i find it is not easy for a girl do all the things alone, and most of the girls around me have boyfriends, why don’t i ?

Observing members: 0 Composing members: 0

18 Answers

Luffle's avatar

You have to be happy with yourself first before you can be happy with anyone else. I don’t really think having the title of “boyfriend” or “girlfriend” is really important but I can understand that people want someone they can share life experiences with. I don’t know you so I can’t really give you a specific reason as to why you don’t have one.

escapedone7's avatar

Do you know how to flirt? Do things that put you in a position to meet new people. Perhaps joining some groups, classes or activities would put you in a position to meet some gentlemen. When you do find a man that entices your mind, do you let him “catch” you eyeing him or make an excuse to be near where he is? Flirt! Heck I have to force myself to NOT flirt. I don’t want a man anymore, but it became habit. I love to flirt. How many guys have you introduced yourself to and asked about themselves this week? Are you shy? Do you work all the time and never meet new people?

CMaz's avatar

Ok, I will be your boyfriend for the next 24 hours.

There, now you have one. ;-)

ZEPHYRA's avatar

Why do so many gals want to tie themselves down? As I have said before, you will be dying to get rid of him once you get him, unless you are one of the lucky ones!

There, Chaz has been generous! ENJOY YOUR SINGLE DAYS WHILE YOU CAN!

willo142's avatar

the first step judging by your question (why dont i have a boyfriend) is to simply relax, i find you meet the nicest people when your not looking.

nayeight's avatar

@ChazMaz I want a boyfriend too! Can I have the next 24 hours? Haha!

nayeight's avatar

Seriously though, I’m 23 and I’ve been single since high school. I’ve had little flings and I’ve fallen in love a few times (I think) but I’ve never been in a serious committed relationship. Sometimes I worry that I’m not getting “experience” or whatever like most people my age. Regardless, I’m not willing to settle for the wrong guy so I guess I’ll keep waiting and enjoy the single time I have.

CMaz's avatar

@nayeight – Sure! Will put you on the list. ;-)

davidgro's avatar

Do you have a good friend who is male, single, and not gay? Try asking him out!

The reason I think this is likely to work is that in general, the qualities that guys like in a good friend (understanding each other, trust, similar hobbies, etc.) are the same qualities we look for in a girlfriend (besides physical attraction).

Artistree's avatar

I hadn’t realised it was compulsory.

wundayatta's avatar

There could be billions of reasons why you don’t have a boyfriend, and I’m sure you know that. You also know no one can answer this question because no one knows you. That makes this a rhetorical question. In other words, a plaintive cry. “Oh, woe is me. I have no boyfriend.”

Well, I could be sympathetic, but once again, that would be meaningless because we don’t know each other. I could also make fun of you, but that would be meaningless because they don’t tolerate that kind of meanness around here and my comment would get moderated (read, deleted). I don’t want to make fun of you, anyway.

l think it can be very hard to be single when all your friends are in couples. It often happens that you get left out of things, which is bad enough, but then you get included in things, and that can be worse.

Several people here have suggested you not complain, but instead look at the advantages of being single. If you want to know what those are, ask another question. I think that’s a helpful way of looking at it. Appreciate what you have instead of whining about what you don’t have.

The other thing is if you are serious, develop a plan that is customized for you (we can’t give it to you), that will move you towards your goal. The first thing to do is figure out your goal—do you just want a guy, or do you want something serious? Etc., etc. Then you figure out the steps you can take to achieve your goal.

Now crying plaintively can be a part of your plan. It might annoy some people who will tell you to stop complaining and get on with it. Others might offer a sympathetic shoulder. Others might even tell you something practical that will help (I wouldn’t count on that—I have found that most of the social advice around here is opinion and not practical).

But, after you have unburdened yourself of your angst, if you are serious about it, you have to take steps, whatever those may be (you’re the only one who can know). If all you want to do is drop little buckets of angst here and there, you can do that, but I don’t think people will have much patience for you.

So I suggest you get started with your plan, and stop feeling sorry for yourself. Be grateful you are alive and have this problem.

escapedone7's avatar

Other people are in the same boat of feeling like a third wheel or single and awkward. When I was in school some girls without dates went to prom as a group of friends or with “friend” dates just to not be standing by themselves.

I sympathize. It feels bad when people make all kinds of assumptions about your motivations for asking a question. Some people project. LOL I am going to copy and past a certain answer here back to someone when he posts future questions. That was snotty.
And possibly sexist since a young angsy MALE was given lots of sympathy instead of being told what a whiner he is.

wundayatta's avatar

Hmmm. I think I sounded a little more harsh than I meant to. I was trying to be the gruff old grandfather who wipes the tear from her eye and tells her she’s wonderful, and now back at ‘em!

Well, you can’t hit the target all the time. Mea Culpa.

escapedone7's avatar

Perhaps I was harsh too. Women these days are a little more aggressive when letting a man know they are interested. In the old days it was better to be demure and wait for them to show interest in you. But consider what it must be like to be a male these days honey. I mean they are often accused of being stalkers creeps or douchebags now if they are too aggressive in pursuit. So now a days you have to “cue” them a little to let them know you are interested. Understand?

CMaz's avatar

@escapedone7 – Well said. GA. :-)

I find that I have to do better, be more careful and work harder, because of the stalkers creeps and/or douchebags.

LuckydogJasmine's avatar

Perhaps your sight is to high. But you also needn’t worry too much about it. I think this kind of thing should leave it up to fate or destiny. Sooner or later, you will meet your Mr. Right.

mattbrowne's avatar

How well do you know yourself? What are your goals in life? What are some of your more unique interests? Who else might have similar interests?

Winters's avatar

All I can tell from the additional info you put up is that you may have some issues with confidence, being sure of yourself sometimes does help. otherwise, its a bit to answer this without any additional information.

Answer this question




to answer.

This question is in the General Section. Responses must be helpful and on-topic.

Your answer will be saved while you login or join.

Have a question? Ask Fluther!

What do you know more about?
Knowledge Networking @ Fluther