Social Question

Vincent_Lloyd's avatar

I've been lonley what do I do with myself?

Asked by Vincent_Lloyd (3007points) August 19th, 2010

Lately I’ve been lonely and I don’t know what to do….I’m too young to have a mate with anyone….I mean I would try and have a guy mate just to see if it would feel right…But I’m still too young and I wouldn’t want to hurt my family than I already have. And I can’t find anyone that’s near where I live so I can see how it goes out…All the girls that like me and guys are too far and I don’t feel their touch or their warmth when we hold each other…Just I’m lonely and don’t really know what to do…Any thoughts girls,Or guys?

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16 Answers

talljasperman's avatar

volunteer somewhere

Seaofclouds's avatar

There is no replacement for the feeling of physical touch (cuddling, holding hands, etc). I wish there was sometimes. When I start really missing the physical closeness, I usually curl up with a blanket and wrap myself up. The blanket keeps in my body heat and seems to help me.

As far as missing just interaction with other people, you just have to find a way to get out there and do things. I know you are younger, so things are a bit different for you. You can start trying to make new friends and keep yourself busy. Sometimes having someone you can be emotionally close with helps.

BarnacleBill's avatar

Play a sport, join clubs at school, join the boy scouts (college scholarship money for eagle scouts), volunteer. Sign up for Math Counts.


Do you have a hobby my friend? Find something you love to do, and do something fun for YOURSELF. Don’t try so hard to look for happiness from other people——develop yourself and look for something that you find interesting to do with your time. That’s what they call a “pasttime”. Everyone should have a hobby. If the hobby involves other people, that’s a bonus, because you get to meet others with your same interests. But do something you like, and read about it to learn more. As far as meeting someone, that will happen——don’t rush things. Wanting only causes suffering. You are still so young. You got a lot of life and opportunities ahead of you where you won’t be lonely. ;)

JLeslie's avatar

It took me months of therapy to realize I was depressed because I was lonely when I was around 14 years old. I don’t know how old you are, but sounds like you are ahead of the game by being in touch with your feelings and wanting to do something to feel better. What got me out of my slump was getting a job. My friends in school were starting to party, which I did not want to do, and so they were going out on weekends, and I did not want to be around the peer pressure and chaos. The people at my job were awesome, and I made some money.

ducky_dnl's avatar

Aww, Vincent maybe you should look in to finding something around your school? Do you like sports? I don’t know how your school allows things, but at my old middle school you had to be in grade seven to play sports. You’re thirteen right? That would make you a seventh grader and eligible to play sports by my old schools rules. Maybe it is the same for your school? If you don’t like sports, you could try a drama club, art class, debate team, etc? These will only occupy your time for a few hours a week, but it’s a start. What do you do right now to occupy your thoughts? I don’t know if you can, but why don’t you try to go for a bike ride or walk whenever you feel lonely? Feeling lonely is a bad feeling, but you shouldn’t throw yourself at people in a romantic way for just that reason. It won’t help anything and will probably hurt you even more in the long run. I hope you feel better, Vennie!

Vincent_Lloyd's avatar

@JLeslie Oh really? I never knew teens around that age could get therapy…Man I must need help then….And yeah I would get how you would feel. I don’t party my ass off or anything either since I’m not a party guy, I don’t want to be around all of the teens that smoke pot and hide weed from their parents…Not cool to me. And yeah but I do understand where you’re going with it. But I can’t get a job since I have my school and don’t want to be working a night shift…

@ducky_dnl L Yeah I’m 13 lol but I’m going into 8th grade, But I can’t go into any sports since I have a breathing condition and I can’t even do P.E. And honestly there isn’t really anything to do in my school…I was going to join an anime club, but it didn’t work…And yeah I understand what you mean. Thanks Ducky.

Pied_Pfeffer's avatar

Vincent, you seem like a very caring person who finds solace in building relationships. When I was your age, I joined a community relations group at our school. One of the things that we did was ‘adopt a grandparent’ at a local nursing home. Once a week, we’d visit our grandparent and chat with them and sometimes bring them things. It was a wonderful experience, and I think it went both ways. Hearing their stories was educational and entertaining.

Frenchfry's avatar

Find a hobby. or join a group. Pick up a sport. Soccer or basketball. Go fishing. or hiking. Nature is awesome to be out in. There is class you can take to learn all about it. Check with your local community center.

jazmina88's avatar

a club… was mine.
Dont worry so much about romance.
Just try enjoying and being more outgoing.
The relationships will come – and go, if you put yourself out there.

Sex is highly personal…..dont go too wild.

ZEPHYRA's avatar

Can’t you do something with your music? Join some kind of music club/band. Is there no way your love for music can help you fight your loneliness and perhaps even help you meet friends?

CMaz's avatar

GO hang out with @MRSHINYSHOES and help beat his kid. ;-)

JLeslie's avatar

@Vincent_Lloyd it doesn’t sound like you need psychiatric help just some friends who are similar to you. 13 is too young to get a job I would guess. When I worked when I was 14 I worked 2 nights after school for about 4 hours a night and one day on the weekend.

Neizvestnaya's avatar

I throw my vote for volunteering somewhere. It’s the dream of so many working people to be able to afford to be able to volunteer doing something that feels of service to others or being able to enjoy a hobby, learn a new trade or whatever.

What interests would you like to explore? Ever considered asking to shadow a docent in a museum that gives tours? What about a food or beverage factory or a Library?

chyna's avatar

I like @Neizvestnaya answers. Volunteer at a library and read to preschoolers on Saturday morning. I see you love animals in your profile, so volunteer at your local animal shelter, or put an ad in your local free paper to walk dogs. Is there a zoo near you? Volunteer there if so. By putting yourself out there doing things you love, you will open yourself up to talking to people which will help you get over any shyness you may be feeling. Try to stay off of the computer as much as possible. That will just isolate you further.


@ChazMaz Ha, ha, very funny! (I’ll get you for that!) lol :P

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