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Hypocrisy_Central's avatar

Who brings out the stingy streak in you?

Asked by Hypocrisy_Central (26879points) August 20th, 2010

I consider myself a fair and helpful person. If someone needs help I find 8 ways to help before looking for 2 ways out of it. But some people make me stingy or they bring the stingy streak out in me. They borrow tools and such without asking. If I loan something to them they take 10,000 years and a day to return it only after I hunted them down as if I were on safari. If I loan them tools, drill, saws, etc. they break them or bang them up. Smaller stuff they simply “lose” somewhere. It makes me not want to loan or lend them anything and certainly nothing expensive. Do you find that people cause you not to want to share? Who brings out the stingy streak in you more, friends, family or coworkers?

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14 Answers

shpadoinkle_sue's avatar

I’m a huge people pleaser. I’ll help out anyone with pretty much anything. But, there are some times when I’ll not tell my sister about a movie of game I just bought. I’ve had to share quite a lot with her over the course of time and it isn’t always reciprocated. Usually, I fold and tell her and it gets borrowed at some point.

muppetish's avatar

I get stingy with individuals who ask questions but don’t want answers.

Like… “I’m going to fail my exam tomorrow! What should I do?” / “Study?” / ”[insert laundry list of complaints here.]” or “I’m not in love with my girlfriend. What should I do?” / “Break up with her?” / ”[insert laundry list of reasons outlining how they would feel bad, don’t want to be single, etc.]”

If you don’t want advice, don’t ask for it. Want a second opinion? That’s sensible. Want to check if there are other options? Sure, that only makes sense. But if you’re only looking to complain, I’ve other things to do.

I stopped talking to a girl I knew because all she wanted to do was complain instead of taking control of her life and making decisions. I’d like to think of myself as compassionate, but you can only listen to so much.

Frenchfry's avatar

When someone keeps asking to borrow or lend . When I get the feeling they are abusing me being nice. I had a neighbor like that.

polinsteve's avatar

I expect to be beaten for this, but requests for aid from countries which find the money for weapons but not for the citizens. I think it is time to harden our hearts and let nature take its course rather than subsidise state greed and terrorism.

shpadoinkle_sue's avatar

@polinsteve I understand what you mean, don’t worry. A difficult issue, well said. It’s not the same, obviously, but in a way, it’s like just like we should have let the banks fail instead of bailing them out.

@Frenchfry You just reminded me of someone else that makes me stingy. Cruddy neighbors. It’s actually why my mom has trouble relaxing. They ask for favors all the time and I couldn’t care less at this point.

Frenchfry's avatar

@py_sue She kept asking me to give her ride to the store. After I did it once. I feel bad saying no. I always have a problem saying no because I hate hurting people’s feeling. It came to the point I would hide and not answer my door. I am have the time not dressed to go somewhere.

shpadoinkle_sue's avatar

@Frenchfry Yup, totally. I was fine lending stuff and watching their kids for a bit, but let’s just say they showed their true colors and now, nuh uh. You don’t want to be the bad guy, I hear ya. I hide, too, sometimes. :)

Pied_Pfeffer's avatar

It pains me to say it, but it is my brother’s 2 daughters. They have pretty much cut off all communication with our side of the family, except to show up at Mom’s house Christmas morning to collect gifts and leave after dinner. The other nieces and nephews love to be with the rest of the family and communicate on a regular basis. My sister’s two sons write wonderful thank-you notes, even though the gifts have been given in person.

Last Christmas, I didn’t send the children any gifts with the explanation that I am no longer working. I have, however, been home twice for other reasons and carted a car-full of belongings that were up for grabs to whomever wanted them. They were snatched up by the 6 that showed up.

It may be immature on my part, but since they are now both adults, I don’t see any reason to continue to give and give to them when the appear to care so little for us and show no appreciation for our efforts to include them or inquire about our lives as we sincerely do about theirs. In my heart, I love them and truly hope that their attitude will someday change.

Austinlad's avatar

The thought of old age!

Neizvestnaya's avatar

Irresponsible people. I feel good when I help people and hardly ever balk to share what I’ve got but in particular it annoys me when our salesguys who make several times more per month than I do come and ask me for money.

Rufus_T_Firefly's avatar

We used to have an energetic young couple living next door. They were very nice and genuinely enjoyable people, but they didn’t seem to be very frugal or self-sufficient. They both had good, well-paying jobs, both rode public transportation to and from work and regularly bought extravagant items for themselves and their home. They would constantly ask us to run them to the store or to run other errands because they had no vehicle. We said yes only because we felt sorry for them, having been in a somewhat similar situation before. Their requests for rides continued on and off on an almost daily basis for about three months, then one day the guy got a large sales commission/bonus from his job and they decided to put in an in-ground swimming pool. I felt compelled to ask him why he hadn’t bought a car instead of the swimming pool and he replied, “We don’t really need a car when we have good neighbors like you living next door.” I immediately realized that we had been had. They considered us nothing more than a lucky convenience. Needless to say, the free rides stopped right then and there. Even after everything that I and my family had already done for them, they felt no need to reciprocate in any way and we have yet to receive an invitation to go swimming in their brand new pool. Go figure.

zenele's avatar

I don’t have one.

Hypocrisy_Central's avatar

@py_sue @Frenchfry @Rufus_T_Firefly I know how you feel. It is like having someone come up to you dying of thirst begging you for a ½ cup of water and when you give them a whole cup they are griping that it was not a liter of bottled water instead of being happy to get what they got that they did not have coming in the 1st place. If you finally gave them a litter of bottled water then they think they deserved to get a gallon of designer bottled water. Or like members of the family who have way more disposable income and half the living expenses always hitting me up like I am the family bank. I always have money because I don’t splurge on things I know I can’t and realize money don’t grow on trees. Sometimes you have to tell yourself no!. People who want what they want when they want it and expect me to make up for what they need just frost my tookets!

buster's avatar

Back in the day it was cocaine.

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