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Seek's avatar

What is the hardest decision you've ever had to make? Do you feel you made the right choice?

Asked by Seek (34769points) August 24th, 2010

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22 Answers

lucillelucillelucille's avatar

To take my dad off of life support.

Jude's avatar

Not talking to my family for two years. They didn’t accept the fact that I was gay and wouldn’t accept my partner at the time. I ended up missing my Grandma’s funeral. I grew up two doors down from her (Grandparent’s house) and she was like a second Mom to me. The day of the funeral, I was parked near the cemetery (hidden, so, that they could not see me). I watched as the funeral procession made it’s way into the cemetery and watched the whole burial from afar. Really, I couldn’t see anything.

I missed it all (funeral mass, visitation).

I had no choice, really.

muppetish's avatar

Cutting a poisonous friendship out of my life. It was the right choice.

@lucillelucillelucille My mum was in that position. Her older brothers refused to make the call because they didn’t want to lose their father. She had to fly across the U.S., heavily pregnant, to handle the situation.

Hawaii_Jake's avatar

To leave my wife and children, not knowing if I would ever be allowed to see them again, in order to live openly and honestly.


daytonamisticrip's avatar

Whether or not to forgive one of my buddies. No i didn’t make the right decision.

stranger_in_a_strange_land's avatar

I had to totally cut myself off from my family, except for my mother, over Meg. They criticized her impoverished background and rejected her as bisexual. I still don’t speak to them except at business meetings.

Seek's avatar

Mine was to leave my family, my whole family, in order to be away from my mother.

We were never close, and she was emotionally abusive. When she became physically abusive (after I was married and we began trying for a child), I had to put a foot down. This meant breaking off contact with her, with my stepfather, her family, his family, and my church (I was a fairly high-ranking member of youth leadership). Worst of all, was leaving my baby sister. I love her dearly and have a huge burden for her, though she’s never felt as close to me, I’m sure. She favors our brother, who is frankly too self absorbed to care for her like I do.

I had hoped to “save” her – to stop her from becoming the latest generation of my mom’s family – all lazy, self-righteous, chain-smoking, alcoholic women with no education and dead-end jobs (if they have jobs at all), bouncing to whatever man will pay their way through life. I kept in touch with her online, tried to be a good influence from afar…

It’s been almost three years. I recently saw my sister for the first time since that day, and she broke my heart. It was like seeing my mom again. She even sounded like her. She insulted my son (“He’s not really a person”), and talked about how much she missed our brother (gone a mere few months – it’s been three years since she’d seen me!), and moaned “awk-ward…” when I tried to give her a hug.

Did I make the right choice? I don’t know. I know I had to be away from my mom, or one of us was going to kill the other, but I still wish I could have saved my sister, too. Would she even want to be saved?

Austinlad's avatar

I finally had to choose to let my brother be the primary caregiver for my mother and to do only as much as I felt I could do for her. I believe it was the right choice for more reasons than not, but I fret about it constantly.

Aster's avatar

By far: leaving my marriage in 1985. Great decision but not sure I did it soon enough.

Frenchfry's avatar

Leaving my first husband and not taking any of them back. I am would of really had a shitty life I think.

Cruiser's avatar

I have not had to make a life and death decision on my own yet….been party to 3 though and still not easy to witness and can not quite empathize with those that have. I am though dealing with a pretty difficult decision right now…actually quite a difficult one.

janbb's avatar

Two equally hard ones:

1) To confornt someone who had abused me when I was a child.
2) To leave an easy job in a toxic family environment without having a clue as to what I would do next.

anartist's avatar

Not testifying a second time in a 5-year nightmare of a civil lawsuit.

CMaz's avatar

Divorcing my ex.

I made the right choice, because I had no other choice. Depleting all other options and taking me 20 years to do it.

LuckyGuy's avatar

I signed the DNR papers for my father and had them shut off the respirator. My mom and brother could not do it.

That was 11 years ago. Time has a way making the decision seem not so difficult.

Akua's avatar

Sending my daughter away to school in Massachusetts. I was depressed for a year and made myself physically ill because being away from her was so hard. But it was the best thing for her education.

Brenna_o's avatar

To have sex or not. (I chose to)
And NO i was a huge mistake!

downtide's avatar

To take the first steps towards getting sex reassignment. It’s the best decision I’ve ever made in my life, but it’s the hardest and scariest thing I’ve ever done.

Scooby's avatar

When I found out my wife had been cheating, for months…….. I wanted to kill the bitch. When she took all the stuff out of the house…… I wanted to kill the bitch. When she had four blokes attack me…..I wanted to kill the bitch, I very nearly did kill that bitch……. But I walked away, I made the right choice….. I’m a lot happier without her & from what I’ve heard over the years, she just keeps falling flat on her face…. It could have all been very different…….

le_inferno's avatar

Finally putting an end to a relationship in which guilt was the only thing keeping me there. Overcoming that guilt was hard. I didn’t want to feel responsible for someone’s misery. I didn’t want to feel as if I was ripping someone’s life or happiness away. But ultimately, I realized, it was best for him and I both for me to leave that relationship. Guilt should not be the foundation of any relationship. He deserved better than that, and I deserved to be happy and fulfilled. When I gathered the courage to break up with him once and for all, I was of course tormented, but knew deep down it was the right thing to do. I had a few very tearful nights, feeling like a terrible person, but ultimately I felt as if a weight was lifted.

AmWiser's avatar

When my dad was in the hospital and in really bad shape, the doctor asked my mother and me if he should be resuscitated if he goes into cardiac arrest. We both agreed no as we knew Pops would not want it. He did, and they didn’t. To this day I am still bothered by my decision. All I can think of is the what if’s.

Neizvestnaya's avatar

Getting divorced. My then husband and I loved each other, we loved our group of mutual friends and both of our families were dear to us both. So many people thought we were the ultimate couple that is was a horrendous pressure to let them down. We tried all we could to understand why we were better off as platonic friends than as a married couple but in the end the decision was right and we have our friendship of over 25yrs to our credit.

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