How reliable is instinct in gauging whether or not a person is interested in you?

For me, I always trust my instinct. Her body is usually doing more talking than her mouth is. Worse they will say is no, but I find for the most part, if you listen in on those cue’s, they are usually right.

I’m not as good as I always believed. Several times I’ve been shocked to hear from others about a so-and-so who’s been interested but I didn’t realize it in order to acknowledge whatever they were doing to get my attention. I have this notion that most people enjoy being friendly and engaging that gets in the way of deciphering real flirtation. A person basically has to tell me in direct words they like me or want to date me aside from being chatter buddies.

I’m not very good at this, I’m afraid. It’s some horrible percentage.. maybe 10–15% of the time? Lately, I have just defaulted to walking around in a platonic bubble and forget about guessing who is interested and who is not.

This one time I knew right away someone was interested in me and walked away with a phone number. It’s kind of a funny story.

Not very. People are complex, and sometimes they hide their feelings, which means that you have to puzzle them out without resort to “instinct.”

I do not trust my instinct. I only trust direct, unmistakable cues. Such as, asking me out on a date. Or kissing me. Flirting, togetherness, communication, and being touchy-feely can all be ambiguous. It has to be glaringly obvious for me to feel 100% sure.

When my current bf and I were getting to know each other, we texted all the time and hung out a lot, but I was never really positive he liked me until he kissed me. Up until then, I spent a lot of time wondering (and so did he, haha). I prefer to be cautious than to set myself up for disappointment.

I have been pretty good at this, sometimes you just know. I think doubting our instinct has caused more problems for us than solved some. Most of the problems I have faced were because I didn’t listen to myself.

I’m horrible at reading body language. I have a hard time taking people for their word, too. Because of this, I never trust my instinct. It’s pretty much led me to fail at getting into relationships. And the one I was is, it helped lead to it’s demise.

So yeah, I don’t rely on my instincts in this department as much as I should.

We’re not connecting in a way that works very well, my intuition and I. F’r instance, had no clue that 2 of the most popular dudes in high school were interested in me. Had no idea that during college, three different fellows who were good guys and right up my street were interested in me. Had no idea that a guy I’d met at a meetup two months ago was interested (but since he was leaving town a few days hence, it’s not so bad that nothing happened).

In each of these situations, someone else had to tell me what was happening. I hadn’t a clue (consciously), and further, I’d been interested in each of the men, but refused to believe they’d be interested in me. It hadn’t even been conscious at this point, so ingrained a habit it is to ignore any signal that I’m interested in these guys for a reason. And it happens so fast, that I can barely detect it when it happens. Obviously, some part of me is picking up on “interested and interesting gent at 4:00!”, but my conscious part is trying to shove it out the door.

I’ve got a ways to go in even listening to, much less trusting, my intuition about this aspect of my life, among others. Seriously, suggestions on how to develop a better relationship with my intuition will be ABSOLUTELY welcome.

Mine is 100%, no joke

I’ve probably never experienced anyone being interested in me so I guess I’m wrong 0.1% of the time.

It used to be a lot better. It’s not anymore.

In the UK, if a man is interested in you, he will act like he isn’t interested one bit. He may ask you out for a coffee, but it will take him ages say anything, so you think nothing is happening. Then, when you tell him you are moving to Timbuktu, he will be hurt and exclaim, “But Penelope, my darling…I’ve loved you since the day I met you! I shall be lost without you!” What? Are you serious? Where did that come from ? You have to be a mind reader.

If he is too interested too quickly then it’s a sign that he is a big player.

I don’t know anymore when someone is interested in me. Even when they come out and say it, I usually look to see if there is someone behind me. :) Just in case.

In my youth, my instinct seemed to have 2 sides when it came to romantic interest. If I was interested, I generally knew for sure whether the object of my interest had the same feelings. (Though I did miss out on a few high school crushes.) If I wasn’t interested, I generally had no clue that someone was even flirting with me, let alone actively interested. That last part caused quite a bit of trouble in my relationships. “He’s totally hitting on you!” “Oh, don’t be silly.” Only to have to eat my words when a guy kissed me right out of (what I thought was) the blue. :/

The positive side of my instinct was that, as a free-wheeling single girl in a pre-AIDS age, I could walk into a party full of strangers and know immediately who’d I’d be leaving with. I was never wrong… it was kind of spooky, actually.

As a mature adult, I’m still really good at knowing who my ‘match’ is. My husband is the very first guy I was interested in after my first marriage broke up. Thankfully, I’m also a little better at picking up cues from men who think because I’m nice to them I want to date them. It still takes me a while, but at least I always realize it before I get an unexpected kiss!