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SuperMouse's avatar

In your relationship how autonomous are you?

Asked by SuperMouse (30801points) September 25th, 2010

Do you and your SO keep track of each other’s schedules and have a pretty good idea where you each are at any given point? Or do you both pretty much do your own thing then come back together at the end of the day? Are you happy with your level of autonomy?

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13 Answers

john65pennington's avatar

After being married to the same lady for 44 years, we are like hooked at the hip. when separated, we keep in constant contact with each other. its been this way since day one.

marinelife's avatar

We know where the other one is and what they are doing.

Cupcake's avatar

We keep track of each other’s schedules and talk about pretty much everything. I am accustomed to a lot more autonomy and independence, but appreciate the transparency in our relationship.

tedibear's avatar

Because we lead fairly dull lives, we have a very good idea of where the other is at any given time. There just isn’t much to keep track of! This has been true since we were “serious” about each other, not just living together and then married. We do things without each other on occasion, but even then we know who is where.

In terms of autonomy, I’m my own person and he is his own. If I want to do something with my girlfriends, I make sure we don’t have anything planned before I say yes to anything else. He does the same with me. I think it’s about being respectful of each other. We can go do whatever strikes us, we just check on the when. As an example, I’m planning to visit girlfriends over Columbus Day weekend. I will call him when I get there so he knows that I’m safe. Then once to say goodnight. I might call when I start my drive home, but that depends on how early I leave. Or I’ll call if I’m getting close to home and we might want take-out for dinner.

Dutchess_III's avatar

I hate it when I have to look up words! But, I figured out what ‘autonomy’ meant by your details so I didn’t really need to tell the whole word that I didn’t know what it meant, did I!? :)
Well, when we owned the shop we worked together. We were together 24/7, so yeah. We knew exactly where each other was every second of every day. It was hard for Rick because I also knew exactly WHAT he should be doing and I’d get mad if he wasn’t doing it!
But now, Rick travels a lot so….we talk at least once a day when he’s out of town but, I’m not surprised if I don’t hear from him a second time. Also, we’re two different people. I’m a scheduler so he always knows where I am because I tell him. He, on the other hand, is a wanderer. It’s not unusual for him to go out for a pack of smokes and be gone for 45 minutes! He just wanders…

tinyfaery's avatar


I start to freak if she is unaccounted for for long periods of time. After 9 years she just acquiesces to my crazy.

Neizvestnaya's avatar

I am not, never been in that kind of relationship though I may need to learn now because my partner is not a “seamed at the waist person”. With my ex husband, we were best friends as well as partners and so our first choice for companionship was always each other and I grew comfortable with that.

My current partner and I stay in touch during the day by text, we both work horrendous hours and have few days off a month at the same time so it feels sometimes like we talk more by text than face to face, our decompression time. I like that cell phones have calendars in them and alarms or else my life would be in upheaval.

tranquilsea's avatar

We have 3 children and one car. We have to know where each other are. I like this level of autonomy because I had far too much when I was a teenager.

Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

Our lives are very busy and we are definitely not always together so I’m completely autonomous but each of us knows where the other is basically 24/7.

KhiaKarma's avatar

It’s called a partnership for a reason. My husband is my partner in life and knows generally what I am doing. Either of us can do whatever, but we check in often. During work days we usually just call to let the other know when we’re coming home. We both worry about the other when MIA. I still feel very autonomous, though.

YARNLADY's avatar

We generally are aware of each other’s schedule and know when and where we are at any given time.

Aster's avatar

^^^ Same as Yarnlady ^^^

NaturallyMe's avatar

Well, seeing that we live together and work together at home, we know where the other is at all times. Before we lived together we didn’t follow each other’s every single move. I don’t mind telling him where i am though when we’re not together, and he doesn’t mind keeping me up to date either should i want to know. I’m happy with the arrangement!

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