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Jay484's avatar

Is it weird for your girlfriends parents to be over protective?

Asked by Jay484 (1555points) September 25th, 2010

I’ve been dating this girl for all most 2 and a half years now (1½ years the first time we dated and all most 6 months now) and her parents are very protective of her. they won’t let us together with out her brother with us and my girlfriend is aways scared that her parents will find out about something we did at school or when shes with my family.

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17 Answers

jkeller87's avatar

It’s not weird for parents to be protective of their child, but this strikes me as a little strange.

Pied_Pfeffer's avatar

How old are you, and how old is your girlfriend? Are her parents of a certain religion, and if so, what is it? Is there any past history in their family’s life or in yours that might cause them to be over-cautious?

john65pennington's avatar

I knew this girl that had overly protective parents. she was 19 and a two year college student living at home. the key word here is living at home. on a school night she had to be home by 9 pm. on a weekend night, 10 pm. i thought this was a little tough on a girl thats considered an adult. but, her parents were very protective and i can understand this to a degree. too tough a reign on her and she will rebell. not strict enough and she becomes pregnant. its the same all the world, where parents want to protect their daughters. you will just have to learn to live with it. and, what did happen in school?

Jay484's avatar

@Pied_Pfeffer i’m 15 and shes just about to turn 15 (but they have know me for all most 3 years now) no there catholic just like my family and there is no past history in their family’s life or mine that might cause them to be over-cautious

laureth's avatar

Parents who seem overprotective are often like that because they know what young people can get up to. Parents were once young themselves, and they very likely remember what it was like to sneak around behind their parents’ backs. (For some of them, this might be about the time they first became parents-to-be.)

On one hand, they’re just trying to protect you from what they know can and will probably happen. They want the best for her (and you-as-a-couple) and that might include making sure you don’t mess around too early. This is not weird,it’s just what responsible parents do.

On the other hand, of course you’re going to want to test the boundaries and push the envelope a bit. That’s what being young is all about, too. If you don’t screw up in life a little bit, you won’t have as many experiences to (1) learn from, and (2) look back on fondly when you’re old and nerdy, possibly guarding the virtue of kids of your own.

I think the key here is, just be respectful of them and understand that they know what you’re up to, and have a little fun anyway. :) (By fun, I don’t mean anything that can get you into trouble. Think about it.) If you/she are under a certain age, remember that they are responsible for what you do, too, both legally and ethically. If you both prove that you are responsible, respectful, and can be trusted, you’re likely to be trusted more as time passes.

Coloma's avatar

Well….15 IS pretty young still, and I agree with @laureth

Trust is earned. Sorry, voice of a mother. lol

snowyowl_ecs's avatar

It isn’t unusual for parents to be protective of their 15 year old daughter. It would be a little stance if she were in her twenties, but not her teens.

Garebo's avatar

I understand why parents are protective, because they know that every guy is trying to get in their daughters pants, and they wish she chooses wisely without continuous remorse.

Russell_D_SpacePoet's avatar

No not at all. My daughter is 28 and I’m still protective of her. That’s the way it is with a daughter.

Pandora's avatar

I don’t think its weird that they love their daughter enough to be careful. Parents are not given, upon the birth of their children, a 100% guarantee book on how to raise your kids in all situations. We all wing it. We do the best we can and pray we don’t screw up on major points of a childs up bringing.
No one ever wants to have the knocked up teenage daughter who dropped out of high school or teenage son who now has to pay child support with no job to speak of.
That is never a parents dream when they hold their baby in their arms for the first time.
So try to understand. That it not their wish to mistrust either one of you. But as parents their first desire is to get you both to adult hood as happy as possible with very little problems standing in your way.
We all know how difficult it can be to ignore hormones once that fire has been lit.
They are simply trying to keep a pail of water nearby to turn off any possible flames.
By today’s social standing it may be considered strict. But I think it is their right to raise her as they desire and see fit.
I wish more parents would supervise their teens. There may be a decrease in teen pregnancies if they did.

zenvelo's avatar

the fact that they let you be bf & gf is at least a ositive sign. But she isn’t even 15 yet. They’re just being careful. I take it you guys just started high school?

Do they know your parents at all? If your mothers talk once in a while, it might boost the trust level.

Disc2021's avatar

Do they like you? Have you met them? Ever been invited over for dinner?

Usually, it means they don’t trust you.

Nullo's avatar

I remember something about the importance of avoiding the appearance of evil.

everephebe's avatar

It isn’t weird, but it is typical.

Jay484's avatar

@zenvelo werer both in grade 10 now

Jay484's avatar

@Disc2021 i have been over to many of her family gatherings with her hole family there and i have know them for almost 3 years now.
@zenvelo again what i said at the end i have know them for 3 years now and i talk to them on a regular basis

Adjo's avatar

I don’t think it is wierd at all. My dad is very protective about who I date. It’s just that I’m his “little girl” and he doesn’t want to see me get hurt. It’s just that parents have raised their children and protected them and they sometimes just aren’t ready to give them up. Maybe you could sit down with the parents and express your concerns? Sorry if this was already suggested. If it was, then this is a reminder of an idea you could use.

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